How would you “grade” your social skills?

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Joe90
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19 Oct 2021, 7:33 am

I've come up with a list of common social skills, in no particular order.


Communication - B+, I don't have a problem communicating in general with family, partner and colleagues, such as asking for things or problem solving, etc

Assertiveness - C average, because I'm assertive to people I know well but being a people-pleaser I find it hard to be assertive with most people

Listening - C average, although I have a short attention span, I don't interrupt people mid-sentence or abruptly change the subject, so I'll say I do excel in listening when it comes to people chatting to me, but I might fail at actually taking it in

Compassionate empathy/sympathy - A+, most people confide in me and can trust me, and I naturally feel the emotional states of others. I am also good at predicting other people's feelings and reactions (putting myself in their shoes)

Cognitive empathy - B, I don't generally have issues with cognitive empathy (which is recognising facial expressions, tone of voice and body language), although I can sometimes get confused with how to approach people without being too instrusive or too aloof. I'm not sure if this comes under empathy or not?

Making friends - E, despite the social skills I do have ''high grades'' in, I still seem to fail at making friends with my NT peers, so I do often suffer social isolation and subtle or ''polite'' social rejection (like being ghosted)

Romance - A+, I seem to have excellent natural skills when it comes to boyfriends, maybe because of my good compassionate empathy abilities. Even NTs have gone to me for relationship advice!

Respect - C average, I say C average because I don't feel obliged to have to tolerate everybody's life choices, but I do have more respect than average on tolerating neurodiversity. But I don't tell people hurtful things although I can talk about them to others or listen to gossip. But I think a lot of NTs would score low on respect to be honest

Political correctness - E, OK I am not the most politically correct person, although I know when to keep my mouth shut it can be hard on internet forums because there's more pressure to be politically correct on the internet than there is among my family and work colleagues

Sense of humour - A+, I have a good sense of humour and I often find the funny side of things and can make others laugh, I can also get most jokes and sarcasm

Lying - A, I think, because I can make up believable lies if I want, but I usually only use my lying skills when I really need to, not to look cocky or screw people over

Expressing and understanding emotion - C average, I say C average because although I don't have difficulties expressing or understanding my or other's emotions, I can overshare or overexpress my emotions to the point where I am whiny or talk too much

Communicating with strangers - D, because I get shy around strangers and so don't often find myself having full-blown conversations, but I know how to talk to a stranger if I have to

Self-awareness - A, I have good self-awareness but it doesn't always get me far because it makes me socially phobic in public

Masking - C average, this is a difficult one, because sometimes I don't always know when I'm masking and when I'm not, as I often automatically mask without realising but I also am capable of showing my true self too. I consciously mask most of the time when I'm in public places because I feel strangers judge me more and don't like it when you express any sort of emotion especially when you're on your own, you're under pressure to look calm and cool all the time which is hard when you feel agitated and impatient easily like I do, I sometimes have to express it through facial expressions which strangers do not like

Self-confidence - F, I am not very confident in myself at all, I am sensitive to criticism and I usually take things personally even if deep down I know it's not personal. I am very sensitive to people's behaviour towards me and I find myself analyzing how I get treated vs how others get treated by the same people, this can spiral into depression and social anxiety

Conversation - D, while I'm good at communicating, sometimes during a conversation I may sound disinterested in the other person because of not asking them enough questions about themselves, I think this might contribute to my difficulty making friends, but it's not like I don't know the cue of when to ask a question, my brain tells me to but my tongue doesn't want to, so instead of saying ''oh, why don't you like XYZ?'' I'll just utter ''oh'' (in a sympathetic tone of voice) or something like that. But people prefer verbal give and take during conversations

Eye contact - B, I have to say B because eye contact is usually natural when interacting with people but when passing strangers in the street I find it really hard (in fact painful) to look at them, I don't know why that is, but it sometimes makes being out in public hard because usually eye contact is natural for me so I have to consciously stop myself from making eye contact with strangers, I just can't bear to see them staring at me if they are, so I tend to look ahead or look down to give off the impression that I don't want to be looked at, although it doesn't work really, it just makes them stare even more because they're alarmed that I'm not making eye contact with them

Regulating voice - D, I don't speak in monotone but I do have a habit of mumbling (it might be low muscle tone in my jaw or have something to do with my top teeth which are rather large), but most people don't hear me and I'm often asked to repeat what I said, also my voice can get swallowed up in background noise so it makes it hard to speak up in noisy environents

Joining in - E, while I've got better at speaking up in a group, I still struggle a bit because I'm scared of social rejection, like the famous ''I wasn't talking to you'' stuff, which really hurts when people say this - depending on the way they say it of course (like if someone was talking directly at someone else and I rudely butted in or answered for them then I understand why I might be told that, but if I'm just casually taking part in an ''open'' group conversation or smalltalk, I don't think being told that is very nice and is humiliating)

Explaining things - E, I'm OK at explaining using simple vocabulary, but I tend to around the houses because I can't always think of better words to explain things


I could go on and on actually, as there are loads and loads of different social skills we humans probably don't even think about, but I think I'll stop here. So, in conclusion, my social skills aren't bad, but I have hidden social awkwardness, which means it's not enough to be able to pinpoint where I'm going wrong but it's enough to make my NT peers think subconsciously ''there's something off about Joe90 that I can't pinpoint what exactly, so I don't really want her as a friend''. The social skills I got the lowest grades in probably contribute to it too but those are being worked on.

Disclaimer: I typed this on my computer instead of on my phone so do pardon any typos (my computer doesn't have predictive text or error checker), and yes I can't be bothered to proof read.


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Last edited by Joe90 on 19 Oct 2021, 7:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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19 Oct 2021, 7:46 am

I'm good enough to survive---but not good enough to be a leader.



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19 Oct 2021, 8:14 am

Steve1963 wrote:
Flown wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
I'll give myself a 'C' at one-on-one encounters; a solid 'F' in a group setting. I still can't get beyond small talk with anyone and actually make a friend though. So maybe I should just give myself an 'F' overall?

I can make or attract friends (not very easily), but I'm not so good at keeping them.

If you don't mind me asking...how do you make and attract friends? I'm excellent at small talk...but I don't know how to connect with people enough to get beyond the acquaintance stage. I'm at a point in my life (I'm 58) where I wouldn't mind making a friend or two...


That's a really difficult question. Let me try to flesh this out!

-I'd first like to start out by saying that I have VERY FEW "irl" friends. I have maybe 3 friends that I stay in close contact with. They are more like the "family that I never had", and I call them my brothers and sisters. They all also happen to be neurodiverse/autistic (and have similar social issues as me). Unfortunately, we all live far away from each other (one in Sweden, one in Pennsylvania, and one in Japan), so we can only stay in contact online for the most part (we've all met in person in the past though). I met two of them online (on special interest forums and websites) and the other was a study partner of mine in university.

Down to making friends....

-I REALLY DON'T KNOW how I've made friends. :D

- I'm pretty good at masking on first meeting (so long as it is one-on-one). It seems like the TRUE friends that I make are those that have seen me with the mask off though.

-I'm not great at small talk (and I do have situational mutism), but most people don't even notice when I go mute as they are too busy talking about themselves. I've been told I'm a "good listener" for this reason, and people that are practically strangers have shared really personal things with me (while I'm wondering how the hell I can escape). I also have a "quirky" appearance and demeanor (or so I've been told), so maybe that plays some part in attracting some people?

-I've also been told that I'm really hard to read (and that I always appear calm on the surface). Even when I'm nearing meltdown/shutdowns, I don't show much visible change (until it actually happens). People are always shocked when I have to remove myself from social situations. People (like my partner) who know me well can easily tell when I'm struggling though.
*side note: When I was a drinker, people could never tell that I was drunk.
*another side note: I had an easier time attracting and keeping "friends" when I was a drinker. I'm not so great at masking without alcohol, and I have zero tolerance for nasty behavior or mistreatment without it. I've been sober for over 6 years, so my "social skills" have declined.

-Unfortunately (and maybe as a result of everything I've mentioned), I have had a tendency to attract people who wanted to use me as a "doormat". Maybe there is something about my perceived passivity that is attractive? I'm not sure. My partner thinks that my history of people pleasing (to avoid confrontation) is a factor too. Most of my failed friendships have ended due to either a lack of reciprocity, lack of respect for boundaries, or downright abusive behavior. I've broken off a "friendship" due to psychological and physical abuse (it ended when I got sober and came to terms with what was going on). I broke off another friendship when a girl wouldn't respect my limitations and my need for space and quiet (she was aware I am autistic); this "friend" turned into a stalker after I broke the friendship off, and it was really weird.

-I've pretty much given up on making new friends in recent years. I just turned 40 this year, and I don't know if I have the energy/spoons to gamble on new relationships right now.

Sorry if that was a lot of rambling. I don't really know how to make it cohesive. In summation, I really suck at friendships in general.


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19 Oct 2021, 8:44 am

Joe90 wrote:
I've come up with a list of common social skills, in no particular order.

Nice list! I will grade myself if you don't mind! Note: Here in the US we don't have an "E" as a grade. It goes A-B-C-D-F (no idea why). Grades reflect my most recent social interactions.


Communication - D

Assertiveness - A or F -I'm assertive with those I know well, but not assertive AT ALL with acquaintances and strangers.

Listening - B or F - It really depends on my energy levels, noise levels, and the number of people around. I can struggle with distractions and my mind wandering during one-on-one conversations though!

Compassionate empathy/sympathy - A+ Sometimes I feel like I feel TOO much of these. I often take on the moods/emotions of others. T_T

Cognitive empathy - A or B, I think? I've memorized body language pretty well I think? A survival skill from growing up in an abusive household.

Making friends - D (read my post above). I can attract "friends", but have a hard time keeping them.

Romance - A? I've been in a committed relationship for over 22 years, so I think I'm doing something right. :P

Respect - B.

Political correctness - A - I work really hard to not do harm unto others, especially those who are marginalized or disadvantaged. I think this is a part of the "compassionate empathy/sympathy" category.

Sense of humour - A , I think I'm hilarious, but that is subjective.

Lying - D - I really dislike lying and only do so in order to avoid major conflict.

Expressing and understanding emotion - C - I am confused by emotional responses from myself and others. I have a very hard time putting a label on my own emotions at times.

Communicating with strangers - C/D - really depends on my energy levels and whether I have the "spoons" for masking. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to spend the energy to mask anymore, so maybe I'm dropping down to a D here.

Self-awareness - A/B- I am extremely self-conscious/self-aware, which isn't good. However, I do struggle with proprioception (so I'm very clumsy).

Masking - C (I used to be better at this, but I just don't have the energy or want to do it anymore)

Self-confidence - F

Conversation - C/D/F. Really depends on the number of people nearby, whether I feel safe, ambient noises, the subject matter, etc.

Eye contact - D. Eye contact makes me pretty uncomfortable. I can glance at eyes, but it is painful to maintain that contact.

Regulating voice - C/D . I'm a mumbler.

Joining in - F. Nope. Rarely happens. I'm a wallflower

Explaining things - F (if I'm put on the spot), A/B if I'm around "safe" people and it involves a SPIN of mine.


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nightflight575
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19 Oct 2021, 10:44 am

I'd probably give myself a C+, but it really does depend on the social situation. I still have to prepare myself and often stumble and all, but once I feel sort of comfortable in a certain context and with the people I am around, it's not so bad.



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19 Oct 2021, 10:50 am

I've gotten better over the years. It was pretty much "F" across the board up until the time I was a young adult. But then, I steadily improved, to the point where I get a "passing grade" most of the time at age 60.



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19 Oct 2021, 10:59 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I've gotten better over the years. It was pretty much "F" across the board up until the time I was a young adult. But then, I steadily improved, to the point where I get a "passing grade" most of the time at age 60.

Do you consider yourself extroverted, and do you have a lot of friends? Or do you have a small group of friends?


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kraftiekortie
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19 Oct 2021, 11:08 am

I don't have many friends at all. Maybe two or so that I've kept a little contact with over the years.

I'm extraverted at times----but, in reality, I mostly keep to myself. I'm not a hermit--but I'm not a social butterfly, either.

I spend most of my time at home, alone or with my wife, surfing the Net on my tablet.



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19 Oct 2021, 12:03 pm

im good at being authoritave at work with the public and im not afraid to assert myself i can even be quite loud im often called hitler by people so anyway with that i think i give myself a A

in irrational social interaction i say im a F even tho im married hes not 100% nt and we have each other but i am not on others wavelength and i dont have much cognitive or compassion empathy at all i really dont

when i used to drink and do drugs i would be a A but naivity made me a F


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19 Oct 2021, 12:53 pm

C on a good day ... D on the average. i always presume my skills are better than they really are. .
the masking issues cause me to want to not engage socially most often. Physical issues around Autism , can really impair these grades .


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19 Oct 2021, 1:21 pm

Childhood to around 18 - F
Around 18 to around 30 - A+
Around 30 to 40 - Nonexistant
Around 40 to now - C on a good day, trending towards F

I don't see what I'm doing different!

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19 Oct 2021, 1:41 pm

Yeah I know. When I was a kid I used to always talk to old men (or dirty old men). I just used to love hearing there stories an jokes. Most of it was probably highly inappropriate for a child of my age back then and then I would go round to younger people and relay all this inappropriate information that I had learned to them. I would say my social skills back then were good but risky. I also had an alter ego who was male and Greek. I would go to this housing estate miles away from home to play and my alter would come out. I would say even with that My social skills were of a high quality but my behaviour was risky.

I came from a household that was abusive and I had to learn to survive. I was into all kinds of crime and stuff at a young age - again My behaviour was risky but I had learned a style of communication and that was quite sophisticated for my age and I had charm and I was surviving. I would give my child self an A*. I went through quite a few years where I became quite reclusive but this was because I found a safe place to stay and I didn't need to survive and think on my feet. But I would definitely say that over the last few years I have kind of come back to life again.

You're probably the same it's just that circumstances and the people around you have changed. Maybe...im no expert.



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19 Oct 2021, 4:56 pm

it depends on the social "thing" I am attempting. performance varies, fluctuates, sometimes I am brilliant (my perspective at least) and other times I am a cowering, bumbling, cringing , heap of insecurities and sick to my stomach, have a blinding headache, tremble inside and can't speak. Performance is all over the place depending on who, what, when, where, why, how.... very unsatisfactory due to unpredictability.



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19 Oct 2021, 5:39 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I've come up with a list of common social skills, in no particular order.


Communication - B+, I don't have a problem communicating in general with family, partner and colleagues, such as asking for things or problem solving, etc

Assertiveness - C average, because I'm assertive to people I know well but being a people-pleaser I find it hard to be assertive with most people

Listening - C average, although I have a short attention span, I don't interrupt people mid-sentence or abruptly change the subject, so I'll say I do excel in listening when it comes to people chatting to me, but I might fail at actually taking it in

Compassionate empathy/sympathy - A+, most people confide in me and can trust me, and I naturally feel the emotional states of others. I am also good at predicting other people's feelings and reactions (putting myself in their shoes)

Cognitive empathy - B, I don't generally have issues with cognitive empathy (which is recognising facial expressions, tone of voice and body language), although I can sometimes get confused with how to approach people without being too instrusive or too aloof. I'm not sure if this comes under empathy or not?

Making friends - E, despite the social skills I do have ''high grades'' in, I still seem to fail at making friends with my NT peers, so I do often suffer social isolation and subtle or ''polite'' social rejection (like being ghosted)

Romance - A+, I seem to have excellent natural skills when it comes to boyfriends, maybe because of my good compassionate empathy abilities. Even NTs have gone to me for relationship advice!

Respect - C average, I say C average because I don't feel obliged to have to tolerate everybody's life choices, but I do have more respect than average on tolerating neurodiversity. But I don't tell people hurtful things although I can talk about them to others or listen to gossip. But I think a lot of NTs would score low on respect to be honest

Political correctness - E, OK I am not the most politically correct person, although I know when to keep my mouth shut it can be hard on internet forums because there's more pressure to be politically correct on the internet than there is among my family and work colleagues

Sense of humour - A+, I have a good sense of humour and I often find the funny side of things and can make others laugh, I can also get most jokes and sarcasm

Lying - A, I think, because I can make up believable lies if I want, but I usually only use my lying skills when I really need to, not to look cocky or screw people over

Expressing and understanding emotion - C average, I say C average because although I don't have difficulties expressing or understanding my or other's emotions, I can overshare or overexpress my emotions to the point where I am whiny or talk too much

Communicating with strangers - D, because I get shy around strangers and so don't often find myself having full-blown conversations, but I know how to talk to a stranger if I have to

Self-awareness - A, I have good self-awareness but it doesn't always get me far because it makes me socially phobic in public

Masking - C average, this is a difficult one, because sometimes I don't always know when I'm masking and when I'm not, as I often automatically mask without realising but I also am capable of showing my true self too. I consciously mask most of the time when I'm in public places because I feel strangers judge me more and don't like it when you express any sort of emotion especially when you're on your own, you're under pressure to look calm and cool all the time which is hard when you feel agitated and impatient easily like I do, I sometimes have to express it through facial expressions which strangers do not like

Self-confidence - F, I am not very confident in myself at all, I am sensitive to criticism and I usually take things personally even if deep down I know it's not personal. I am very sensitive to people's behaviour towards me and I find myself analyzing how I get treated vs how others get treated by the same people, this can spiral into depression and social anxiety

Conversation - D, while I'm good at communicating, sometimes during a conversation I may sound disinterested in the other person because of not asking them enough questions about themselves, I think this might contribute to my difficulty making friends, but it's not like I don't know the cue of when to ask a question, my brain tells me to but my tongue doesn't want to, so instead of saying ''oh, why don't you like XYZ?'' I'll just utter ''oh'' (in a sympathetic tone of voice) or something like that. But people prefer verbal give and take during conversations

Eye contact - B, I have to say B because eye contact is usually natural when interacting with people but when passing strangers in the street I find it really hard (in fact painful) to look at them, I don't know why that is, but it sometimes makes being out in public hard because usually eye contact is natural for me so I have to consciously stop myself from making eye contact with strangers, I just can't bear to see them staring at me if they are, so I tend to look ahead or look down to give off the impression that I don't want to be looked at, although it doesn't work really, it just makes them stare even more because they're alarmed that I'm not making eye contact with them

Regulating voice - D, I don't speak in monotone but I do have a habit of mumbling (it might be low muscle tone in my jaw or have something to do with my top teeth which are rather large), but most people don't hear me and I'm often asked to repeat what I said, also my voice can get swallowed up in background noise so it makes it hard to speak up in noisy environents

Joining in - E, while I've got better at speaking up in a group, I still struggle a bit because I'm scared of social rejection, like the famous ''I wasn't talking to you'' stuff, which really hurts when people say this - depending on the way they say it of course (like if someone was talking directly at someone else and I rudely butted in or answered for them then I understand why I might be told that, but if I'm just casually taking part in an ''open'' group conversation or smalltalk, I don't think being told that is very nice and is humiliating)

Explaining things - E, I'm OK at explaining using simple vocabulary, but I tend to around the houses because I can't always think of better words to explain things


I could go on and on actually, as there are loads and loads of different social skills we humans probably don't even think about, but I think I'll stop here. So, in conclusion, my social skills aren't bad, but I have hidden social awkwardness, which means it's not enough to be able to pinpoint where I'm going wrong but it's enough to make my NT peers think subconsciously ''there's something off about Joe90 that I can't pinpoint what exactly, so I don't really want her as a friend''. The social skills I got the lowest grades in probably contribute to it too but those are being worked on.

Disclaimer: I typed this on my computer instead of on my phone so do pardon any typos (my computer doesn't have predictive text or error checker), and yes I can't be bothered to proof read.


I like that list I'll use it myself!

Communication - B, I have trouble with communication my wants and needs to my family and friends but my problem solving skills are really good so one kind of overlaps the other?

Assertiveness - B, Oddly enough I am quite assertive in telling people what I want when it comes to strangers and buisness situations

Listening - A+, I listen and give great advice to the people that come to me. Sometimes I might have to be brutal in my advice but in general I have never had anyone that didn't feel they couldn't confide in me.

Empathy/Sympathy - A, for empathy, C, for sympathy. I am very good at empathizing with others in the room but I am not so great at reading the room all the time and sympathizing with people's feelings.

Cognitive Empathy - B, I would say I can read facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language pretty well

Making Friends - F, I don't know what it is about me but I have so much trouble with making friends but, that could also be the fact that I have no real definition for it.

Romance - D, I am pretty oblivious when people are interested in me but, as I research it I can tell when others are interested in each other and the signs that go along with them.

Respect - A, I was raised to be respectful to others and I am naturally respectful to others regardless of their background or history.

Political Correctness - ?, I can't really give a grade on this one because these days being PC is pretty hard cause now it changes so frequent from person to person.

Sense of Humor - B, I think I have a pretty good sense of humor. I'm not a laugh riot but I might get a few chuckles and laughs out of people

Lying - C, I hate lying so I never really trained myself to lie. I can do it though and sometimes I get away with it other times my facial expression gives it away right of the bat.

Expressing and Understanding Emotion - E, I have a hard time understanding and expressing my emotions. Many times I don't know exactly what I'm feeling and how my body reacts to these emotions.

Communicating with Strangers - B, I would say I am pretty good at communicating with strangers. I have made conversations with strangers before and they didn't seem uncomfortable(at least from my perspective).

Masking - B, I know I do mask myself but I'm not sure when. People say that when they see me they just see a shy and reserved person so I guess that's a good thing?

Self-Confidence - D, I have self-confidence but it kind of goes back and forth depending on the situation at hand and the conversation we are having.

Conversation - C, I would say I am average at best when it comes to conversations. I think personally I just haven't experienced enough stuff and I am an introvert so I don't put much practice into it.

Eye-Contact - B+, Family, friends, and strangers I can keep eye contact with for the most part unless I am having a bad day or something is really on my mind.

Regulating Voice - A, I have no problem with regulating my voice for the moment and I can usually be heard when I speak. I just don't speak that much in general(I'm more of a listener than a speaker).

Joining In - D+, I haven't really got the hang of joining in conversations all to well. There is also the fact that my interests are kind of narrow as well so it's sort of my doing on that one.

I always thought for a long time my social skills were bad but once I joined a professional social group my facilitators say that I have great social skills. The nerd in me did calculations based on the letters on a grading scale and it comes out to C+(Score: 78 or college standards Score: GPA 2.3). Not bad I would say for being on the Autism Spectrum!



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19 Oct 2021, 6:04 pm

I won't grade my social skills based on traits.
I rather grade mine based on performance.

Traits are easy. Traits are trainable. Performance is an outcome from said traits. Traits can rendered relevant or irrelevant in performance.


Both still graded unknown with me though. :lol:
Having and not having all said graded traits is still independent from my performance.


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19 Oct 2021, 6:30 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I've come up with a list of common social skills, in no particular order.


Nice rubric. :wtg:


Communication - B-; overall I'm not terrible when I make attempts to communicate although when I was young I was prone to having little interest in communicating because I was very aloof and used to saying things that would lead to being ostracized

Assertiveness - no grade overall, highly variable; i can be very passive when it comes to things that I don't value, I can also be very fiercely assertive in other situations like when I have a high investment in the outcome or when I feel cornered; I have a pretty long record of picking what to others appear to be small, indefensible hills to die upon and emerging on top because of a mix of assertiveness, careful weighing of the circumstances and effectively making my case to whoever actually holds the overall power in order to avoid the potential consequences of making that stand, some of y'all already know this

Listening - B+; when I find people interesting I can devote massive levels of attention to them and for anyone who hasn't antagonized me I tend to be very non-judgmental if they deal with f****d up things because I try to not make significant value judgments tied to those things, at least not in the moment

Compassionate empathy/sympathy - B; I can usually do pretty good in this category when I chose to, I don't always because I don't always have the energy or have been antagonized by that person before; I compartmentalize these feelings by nature and sometimes struggle to contain vindictive tendencies

Cognitive empathy - ?; i seem to be really mixed here because sometimes I pick up on stuff intuitively (especially if the rest of the room missed it) and yet other times I'm utterly oblivious; I tend to miss when people are romantically interested unless they say so and I've certainly unintentionally gotten myself punched in the face over pushing people who are emotionally volatile

Making friends - C; I've had periods in my life where I'd do well and I can usually get along fine with most people at work (or similar); people seem to tolerate me so I must have some degree of skill here

Romance - B-; I've had a few relationships last 3-5 years, I've had people pursue me despite my obviously lack of suitability, I seem to mesh well with a small percentage of the population and give crushes which is good because I haven't had that much luck when it comes to making my own crushes work out for me

Respect - ?; I tend to be reciprocal with respect

Political correctness - ?; I'm not really sure what exactly is meant by political correctness because often people just assign that concept to popular views they disagree with but I can often be quite tone-deaf and bring up divisive causes I support without considering the audience is likely to be hostile

Sense of humour - :clown:

Lying - B; I'm not a great liar but because I didn't do it much I tended to get away with it; it doesn't usually occur to me to maliciously lie in advance of something but I have lied escape consequences of vindictive behaviour so long as I remembered no witnesses, play dumb

Expressing and understanding emotion - C-; both are highly variable although i believe i've improved with both as i've gotten older

Communicating with strangers - B+; this doesn't phase me too much, most of those interactions are superficial

Self-awareness - D, I don't have very good social awareness or ability to intuitively understand how I might appear in the moment from the perspective of others

Masking - not sure

Self-confidence - F, but I can fake it sometimes 8)

Conversation - B; i can often manage but sometimes talk about boring s**t no one else cares about

Eye contact - D, I'm awkward with eye contact and tend to look at other parts of people's faces close to their eyes and hope they don't notice, sometimes i can manage okay though

Regulating voice - C, I can be loud :oops:

Joining in - B, if it's interesting my poor impulse control will likely lead to me trying to engage

Explaining things - A, I've been told often enough that I'm good at making relatively complicated topics digestible that I can say I believe I'm good at this; that said I'm pretty sure I need to be aware that it's the intended goal in order to do it well, I'm sometimes prone to using oversimplifications of ideas/points/etc without realizing that the nuances I'm not communicating aren't fully understood, or that my awareness of them wasn't understood


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