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Joined: 9 Oct 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 12

14 Oct 2012, 10:04 pm

I just wanted to see if anyone could relate...I personally work CoDA steps for codependency issues and I wanted to see if there was any link to it being related to having Aspergers.



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Joined: 3 May 2012
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,694
Location: In The Wind

14 Oct 2012, 11:06 pm

There does tend to be the issue of not having or recognizing boundaries that factors into much of the relational wreckage

Let's go on out and take a moped ride, and all your friends will thing your brain is fried, but you can't live your life too dirty, 'cause in the the end you're born to go 30


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Joined: 24 Aug 2011
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Posts: 13,037
Location: northeast US

14 Oct 2012, 11:26 pm

we aspies tend to be naive. that lets alcoholics and addicts take advantage of us, so we are, i think, more likely to become co-dependent than average.


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Joined: 3 Feb 2006
Age: 40
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Location: Ohio, USA

14 Oct 2012, 11:35 pm

Yeah, but a lot of the time the codependency doesn't have to do with the alcoholic/addict wanting to "take advantage" of anybody. It just kind of happens because you love them and you don't want to see them distressed, so you "help" them in the short term and end up hurting them and yourself in the long term. It's poor judgment on both peoples' parts. I just don't think that an addiction would turn you into a person who is willing to coldly manipulate others for your own benefit--not unless you were the sort of person who would have done that to get out of a tough spot even without the addiction.

But then, I've never had an addiction, unless you count self-injury (which I do, marginally, but still isn't quite the same thing). Maybe it really does change you into a manipulative, nasty person. But until I have evidence to the contrary, I tend toward the belief that it does not.

Reports from a Resident Alien:

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Joined: 5 Aug 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 356

11 Oct 2013, 5:29 pm

I definitely feel I suffer from codependency. I let other people have power over me and take advantage of me and put other people's opinions before my own. I don't know if there's a link between codependency and autism, though.

Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 27 Nov 2022
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 2
Location: London UK

27 Nov 2022, 6:54 am

Hi Amber,
I hope you are okay.
I just wanted to say thank you for your message and while I feel sad that you don’t want to pursue a friendship with me, I completely understand and respect your decision. Please feel free to come back to my workshops if you can.

Once again I am sorry if I ever made you feel uncomfortable

I wish you a beautiful life and go forward in all you dreams.
Please forget about me as I do not matter to anyone

I was born to be lonely and will die lonely because I am unable to distinguish different relationships owing to my autism. It makes me feel physically sick just thinking about it.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I went for an assessment to see if I had Autism and the results were inconclusive as it said that I had some of the behaviours but not enough to say that I had the condition. The other problem was that the test was really aimed at children and not adults.

I however firmly believe that I am Autistic because I have always struggled to maintain and hold onto my friendships. This has made me feel very bad about myself and has lead me to have a diagnosis from my GP with 'Mixed Anxiety and Depressive Disorder.'

I did an online Autism test and at the end of it, it said that I was 'High Functioning Borderline Autistic'.

I want to see if I can get a formal diagnosis so that more doors can open to me for help with emotional support. I feel very lonely and sad that I am rubbish at making friends and also struggle with paperwork in my jobs. If I actually DO get a positive diagnosis then I won't really know where that will leave me in terms of disclosing this information to my line managers.

I really do not know what to do.

Can you please advise me? Thank you in advance

Kind regards,

Mr. Lindsay Pickett


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Joined: 22 Jun 2022
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Posts: 16
Location: somewhere in NJ

27 Nov 2022, 9:37 pm

I actually bought a book recently on working on codependency because I know I struggle with it. I think it's especially common for parents/guardians to develop codependent relationships with their disabled children. Iv'e had that issue with my mother for many years