Anyone else wanna die from being the crazy person?

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sAMY
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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05 May 2015, 4:15 pm

Neighbors fear me and all own guns so they can shoot me.
They grab their kids inside when I come outside.
Everyone on the block hates me.
I get anxiety attacks and stop and stare and do weird things with my body.
I get panic attacks when parking and neighbors freakout cause I might hit their car.

I wish I could move and start over but I will never be able to afford to ,plus then the normies win



cavernio
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05 May 2015, 4:18 pm

You shouldn't be driving if you experience panic attacks while driving.


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Not autistic, I think
Prone to depression
Have celiac disease
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sAMY
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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05 May 2015, 4:22 pm

cavernio wrote:
You shouldn't be driving if you experience panic attacks while driving.



This was first time ,the attacks are getting worse cause I realized how crazy I am and how everyone hates me and wants me dead .driving is usally relaxing .

I just don't know how to get out of here and start over.

I'm hoping others here can share their experiences so I don't feel so alone



sAMY
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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05 May 2015, 4:26 pm

I just want it all to end and I don't know how ! I hate this s**t and Dr Wong return my calls ,keeping saying I need ativan and to be off ripsperdal and trzadone .



I'm tempted to kill myself but I remember then the nornies win . they want s reason to kill me but I won't let em but they friends with cops so it might end up that way anyhow



Transyl
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05 May 2015, 11:56 pm

I've been in a similar place often. I get into these moods where I think I don't belong on this planet. That I don't fit in. That I'm not like everyone else and I never will be. Everything I do is wrong and they'll judge me for it. One day they'll all be against me. Those are the thoughts that go through my head.

I suspect this is a severe fight or flight response that is common to us. Something triggers it, could be something small, and it sets off all those feeling of being different like a light switch. Then we no longer feel safe because different stands out. It can be looked down on or worse.

But you should try to remember that there are understanding people out there. Whether it's family, friends, or strangers you've yet to turn into friends. It's unlikely that any single person will relate to you in every way... but there are undoubtedly many who will have some similar interests or perspectives.

Talking to them, befriending them, could give them just as much relief as it will for you. So there is a reason to be alive even if we are strange. Because we're not alone. Because our existence could benefit others and give others a chance to benefit us. We can be grace for another person and allow another person an opportunity to be grace for us.