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Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 23 Jul 2015
Age: 31
Posts: 215
Location: Texas

06 Sep 2015, 12:38 am

So I think it is very possible I have nvld, and my parents are getting me in to get evaluated, I have felt different my whole life, but my stepmom thinks all my problems are because of the way I was raised. Even though my dad says I was a weird kid compared to his current 4 year old, I could go through all of my symptoms and stuff but I am not here to ask for validation of my suspicion of having NVLD, I am asking how I should handle my stepmom. She said something like "98% of your social problems are because of the way you were raised", I tell her about my motor skill and visual spatial problems and those making me anxious in new situations and she says "well because your having anxiety, you might be performing bad with those things because your worried you will". I try to explain to her I have had problems with them my whole life, she didn't see anything. She says "I have seen you connect with your friends when there over, it's just anxiety" I tell her people with NVLD can connect with friends, but may doubt there loyalty (which I do) she does not say anything. I hate that I feel anxious and different on a daily basis and I find this condition that sounds like me, and she insist it is because of the way I was raised, and that my social problems are all learned, and anxiety related. I try logically explaining it to her, and she won't have any of it, what should I do? My dad thinks it is likely I have NVLD, saying about how I was a odd child and I have always had motor skill problems, and things like that, but even he says I think 75% of his social problems are the way he was raised and the rest is genetic" anyone here at WP knows that is a ridiculous thing to say but they won't listen to me. I am thankful my dad see's what I am saying more but neither of them really get it. They just want to say "you have anxiety" to explain all of my probelms. They even said that maybe I have developed NVLD (not born with it) which is obviously ridiculous (I had no head injury's or anything) my step mom just refuses to have anything I am saying and I don't know what to do.
Any comments are appreciated.

Diagnosed with ASD and Depression.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 127 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 82 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


User avatar

Joined: 30 Aug 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,548
Location: Sovereign Nation & Commonwealth

07 Sep 2015, 5:35 pm

The best and only advice I can give, is the total honesty you’re giving yourself.
If you believe that you may have NVLD from what you have described, then keeping it in check and not under your hat, is the only thing you can do. There can’t be no right or wrong way to confide in someone, but that person may not be your step mum, if she’s abandoning the fact you’re not her child and she has little to with that side of matters. It’s a dire result of getting older and, becoming frightened of the unknown.
This shouldn’t dissuade you from being a mature dependable woman with a profound sense of right and wrong on your side with just a sprinkle of added confusion to go along with it.
No one, not even her, wants to hold your hand in this, and that can be tough, but a diagnosis doesn’t mean the end, rather the way forwards. Dealing with dexterity and anxiety over the whole social omnibus equation. None of us always like how we look on the outside, but to ourselves, the only way to ‘polish up our act,’ is not forgetting what people think of you, but remembering what you stand for on the inside that matters.