Can you be a liar and still have Aspergers?

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Aspergirl16
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20 Jan 2016, 8:18 pm

I was wondering this. Because I read that people with Aspergers have trouble lying and usually tell the truth. But I find the opposite with me. I lie quite a lot and like to tell stories, exaggerate.(Embarrassing to admit I know bad) Though mind you I do feel very guilty afterwards sometimes when I do like a think about it over and over. Even though it was a white or tiny lie.



kraftiekortie
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20 Jan 2016, 8:26 pm

When I was a kid, I used to lie so I wouldn't get punished. And I definitely had symptoms of Asperger's (even though Asperger's wasn't around yet).

I think some people with autism experience difficulty with lying; but it's far from being a universal autistic trait.



Aspergirl16
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20 Jan 2016, 8:31 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
When I was a kid, I used to lie so I wouldn't get punished. And I definitely had symptoms of Asperger's (even though Asperger's wasn't around yet).

I think some people with autism experience difficulty with lying; but it's far from being a universal autistic trait.


Yeah I think I learned the habit when I was a kid. I didn't want to get punished and was scared so I would lie to get off trouble. I think I haven't got out of the habit now I'm a teen.



Noca
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20 Jan 2016, 8:37 pm

I can lie, it is just very emotionally draining to do so.


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Aspergirl16
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20 Jan 2016, 8:38 pm

Noca wrote:
I can lie, it is just very emotionally draining to do so.


Same for me even though I'm used to it.
Sorry 100 posts yay! :jester:



kraftiekortie
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20 Jan 2016, 8:44 pm

I hope I never have to lie ONCE for the rest of my life.



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20 Jan 2016, 8:45 pm

I rarely ever lie. If I do, it's usually to benefit/not hurt others. I will hold back information on a consistent basis though, although it's often just because I don't talk much to begin with. If you don't ask me about something, odds are I won't tell you. But yeah, I learned that since I'm often depending on others it's in my best interest to be honest whenever possible. People really do appreciate me for it though, honesty is a rare trait amongst NT people.



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20 Jan 2016, 9:06 pm

As a child I lied to try and stay out of trouble and even being honest about it still got me in trouble so it didn't really mattered if I lied or told the truth so I lied anyway about whatever I did wrong. Sometimes I would get away with it but often people always knew it was me. I think I would have been honest if I never got into trouble for what I did wrong and didn't have to suffer any consequences so I kept on lying about it.

I remember making up some stories like the time I said we had ten hamsters in our bush in my backyard and I had fun telling that story and my teacher kept wanting me to tell her about it. I found out years later that was a lesson she was teaching me about lying. I got myself out of that situation by saying the hamsters died when the classroom aide said to my teacher she is going to call my mother soon and ask if I have ten hamsters in my bush. But with that lie it was like telling a story that parents tell their kids when they tell stories without books so they make one up like my 4th grade teacher did about his imaginary student he had. He would tell us stories about this imaginary student in our class for downtime and to entertain us because this character was very dumb due to a drop on his head when he was a baby and he was non verbal because that was how dumb he was and he was literal and got confused easily and didn't comprehend lot of things and his favorite word was "duh" so he said that a lot and he had a temper. My mom decided when I was 15 he probably had AS so it was very possible that this dumb student he had was an NT's interpretation of an autistic person. Except this character wasn't meant to have AS, he was just very stupid. That was his medical issue, stupidity. But even I enjoyed his stories about his imaginary student. So that was what me telling that lie about having ten hamsters living in a bush was like.

Today I don't lie unless I am embarrassed or fear being judged and I wouldn't do the wrong thing only to lie about it.


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21 Jan 2016, 2:53 am

My sense of justice or ethics sometimes makes me feel telling a lie is ethical.

A good example is when filling out job applications with unreasonably personal questionnaires. First, I need a job. Second, I think it unreasonable if I'm prevented from getting employment from really stupid questions cooked up by people in some staffing firm. I will like if I think doing so will get me the job.



LupaLuna
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21 Jan 2016, 3:20 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
When I was a kid, I used to lie so I wouldn't get punished. And I definitely had symptoms of Asperger's (even though Asperger's wasn't around yet).

I think some people with autism experience difficulty with lying; but it's far from being a universal autistic trait.


I used to lie to get out of trouble all the time as I was very good at it too. That said. Lying to get out of trouble seem more of a logical approach to me then other forms of lying. For example, I am terrible at what NT's call "white lies". A form of lie that's used to keep from hurting someones feeling, etc.



Yigeren
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21 Jan 2016, 3:26 am

I could lie as a kid to get out of trouble or avoid embarrassment. I'm pretty sure I was not good at it. As a teenager, I lied for essentially the same reasons. I was probably better at it at this point.

Once I got past my teen years, I began to really dislike lying and avoided it if possible. I'm a terrible liar now because I feel that it's wrong to do it, and because I'm not really good at coming up with them on the spot. If I plan it out beforehand, I can lie convincingly. I really only do this if necessary.

I think there are a lot of myths out there about ASD that are not necessarily true for everyone. Some may not even be true for most people. I keep reading new studies that are challenging many things that people have believed about autism for years.



nurseangela
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21 Jan 2016, 3:28 am

A very wise and wonderful Aspie (and you know who you are) once told me that "Yes, Aspies can definitely lie". :)


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Lunajana
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21 Jan 2016, 4:49 am

There's all kinds of types of lies.

The white lie, which is not considered a real lie in NT-world. It is to me and I suck at doing it to make people feel better.

The intentional lie. The more severE 'evil' kind of lie. Emotionally draining but possible. Prefer not.

The ommision of the truth, my best bet :D I will not lie but will not tell the whole truth.

There's probably more types but these are the ones I have experience with.

So autism and lies, yes and no :lol:

edit: just thinking of another one! it is exaggerating of the truth, so not really lying but nobody believes the truth because it is slightly exaggerated. :twisted: soooo mission accomplished added bonus that one might be percieved as humoristic ;)



naturalplastic
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21 Jan 2016, 5:27 am

Am officially dx'd with aspergers I have...never lied in my life! :wink:



PwoperNereguar
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21 Jan 2016, 5:43 am

It depends. On serious matters, I always tell the truth. Honest about everything. But white lies are incredibly easy. I come up with them on the spot and use that to get out of situations or just when I feel like lying. I feel that I have to tell the truth about important things, though.



Dwarvyn
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21 Jan 2016, 7:19 am

I think maybe lying is something that might not come naturally for aspies, but that it can be learned, just like other social behaviours: you have to think about it, maybe prepare in advance depending on the situation, and it can be draining and/or feel uncomfortable, but the concept itself isn't incomprehensible (not like in The Invention of Lying, where he can say an obvious falsehood, and everyone just believes him because there's just no concept of a lie). And different people might have easier or harder times with various levels of lying (white lie, etc.).

You could answer "How's it going today?" with complete honesty about how crappy today was and how waking up ten minutes later than normal threw your entire day off and it snowballed and now you're on the edge of a meltdown and one more push will throw you over that edge... or you could just answer "Fine", because you know that's what they want to hear and they'll leave you alone (assuming that's what you want), even if it makes you feel guilty not telling the truth.