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Mountain Goat
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01 Oct 2021, 7:30 am

This has just occurred to me that when I was a young child, my Mum sent a school photo back and wasn't too thrilled about some of the others because when I was told I needed to smile, I would put far too much effort into it somehow and my face would go all red and I would look pretty stupid with an all tensed up face.
I would either be my normal self as in a straight face (Though I do smile if something makes me happy) or I would be like I described above, as I just did not know how to smile for cameras.
Even today I normally keep my mouth shut and smile because I am not quite sure how to pose. If someone just takes photos and I am relaxed I am more natural so I look good, but if I try to pose I can mess it up.
I have learned to just look as I am and ever so slightly smile (Which comes out as a nice smile I believe).
It is not a big problem like it once was when I was young, but I am wondering. Did others get similar issues?
Do people have to learn how to smile or do they do it automatically if asked?

Another aspect is due to faceblindness, I tend to try to put on a smile all the time because I don't know if people approaching me are people I know, as in the past if someone I know sees me not smiling (As I do not realize that I know them), then I have been told off for ignoring them.... So I then over-compensate and smile at everyone as if I know them which can be quite tiring if one is in a busy place.

Smiling naturally does not take effort, but smiling because I need to (Masking?) actually takes a lot of effort.


Could what I say be common with autism or is it just me and how I relate to things? As I believe that some on the spectrum have to force theselves to smile as they don't do it naturally, but I do it naturally and I do it by force so would this be what allistic people do? (NT's).

It does not really matter as I am me, but it is a question that I would like to know as I am kinda curious...

Going back to the photographs in school, the other children in my class did not seem to have issues except maybe the odd one. I remember being told to smile, and being told off for smiling, and then the photographer and my teacher would say to "Smile properly" but all they had was the same overdone smile with great effort going in... In the end after several minutes of trying and with a whole school of children to do he just took the photo as I was with my interpretation of my very best smile! :D



Edna3362
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01 Oct 2021, 7:33 am

Sure.

I don't ever automatically smile when asked to be taken a picture.
In fact, I don't like it when someone asks me. So I'd be at least annoyed or feel awkward.


But when I'm in a good mood...
... I don't have to smile. It simply reaches my eyes.
So I know how to smile... Without smiling. :lol:


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Mountain Goat
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01 Oct 2021, 7:39 am

Edna3362 wrote:
Sure.

I don't ever automatically smile when asked to be taken a picture.
In fact, I don't like it when someone asks me. So I'd be at least annoyed or feel awkward.

But when I'm in a good mood...
... I don't have to smile. It simply reaches my eyes.
So I know how to smile... Without smiling. :lol:


I am sure you look good smiling or not.

Yes. Smiling by demand feels awkward... :D



Dandansson
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01 Oct 2021, 8:21 am

you have difficulties with facial experssions and motor skills?



Dandansson
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01 Oct 2021, 8:28 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
Smiling naturally does not take effort, but smiling because I need to (Masking?) actually takes a lot of effort.

I am not sure the photo shoot (I guess that's the term) is not really about masking. It's moe about trying to do something. I take lessons in how to use my voice (you could call it singing lessons with a focus on speech as well) and my teacher says that I should not try to recite the text. I should just speak. We do exercices but the first idea is to find out how you can stop "trying" to do something.
You might need a teacher for this.



Mountain Goat
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01 Oct 2021, 8:55 am

Dandansson wrote:
you have difficulties with facial experssions and motor skills?

I do not know because I am thinking back to my childhood to try and work things out. I think I am ok with facial expressions though sometimes masking with a smile I can be told off for being inappropiate for the occasion, but that is as an adult and is a faceblindness protection thing type of masking.



babybird
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01 Oct 2021, 9:36 am

I've been told that I smile a lot or I've been told that I always seem in good spirits so I assume I must be smiling a lot. But if I'm told to smile for a phot then I really do not know what to do with my face. I become extremely self conscious and it just feels unnatural.



SharonB
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01 Oct 2021, 12:35 pm

I was taught how to produce a genuine smile and other expressions "on command" in an acting class. That said even before that most of my school pictures were fine. My ASD mom taught my NT dad to make genuine smiles and I taught my NT husband and children to do it. My unexpressive, introverted ASD daughter produces beautiful (smiling) pictures, which we both appreciate.



babybird
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01 Oct 2021, 12:40 pm

.



Last edited by babybird on 01 Oct 2021, 1:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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01 Oct 2021, 1:30 pm

I hate taking photographs, and it makes my "skin crawl" when forced to smile for anything. I've learned how to mask and do it for the occasional photograph, but I go out of my way to avoid being photographed in general. I much prefer to be on the other side of the camera (although I don't really like photographing humans.).


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HeroOfHyrule
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01 Oct 2021, 2:05 pm

I had to practice in the mirror to learn how to smile "properly" and I still can't really do it for photos. It took me quite a few years of observing other people genuinely doing it and practicing what I observed to get even close. Though I think I do fine in actual social situations now because people don't give me odd looks anymore when I try to smile.



TenMinutes
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01 Oct 2021, 2:11 pm

I smile to the degree I am amused. I'm not sure I have a happy smile, but I smile when I am amused. I cannot fake a smile to save my life.



shortfatbalduglyman
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01 Oct 2021, 2:43 pm

Plenty of times precious lil "people" had the nerve to tell me off for smiling

Plenty of times precious lil "people" had the nerve to tell me off for not smiling

"Why are you smiling?"

They are manipulative, judgmental, petty, and micromanaging

In some countries it is not proper to smile. It doesn't seem serious enough

There is something wrong with everything

Some precious lil "people" act like if they are not happy, someone must have violated their "rights". That is not correct. Nobody has a "right" to be happy.

It also gets on my nerves how precious lil "people" have the nerve to cross examine or make fun of my facial expressions. Facial expressions are a function of autism. Seriously I think anyone that makes fun of someone with a disability , like autism, should get their high school diploma revoked as punishment



renaeden
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01 Oct 2021, 11:04 pm

For photos I say "cheese" and that generally makes me look like I'm smiling properly. Only thing is, it doesn't reach my eyes. I find it hard to make my smile genuine.



QuantumChemist
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02 Oct 2021, 9:30 am

I simply do not like having my photograph taken. My facial expression has often been critiqued as being “lifeless” or “creepy” over my entire life. My classmates growing up wanted me out of the large class photos because of this issue. They even left out my photograph in a middle school yearbook because the students and faculty producing it “made a mistake” that was not accidental. Later on, I was the only one who did not spend big bucks on a professional photo for my high school graduation. My classmates made a large deal about trading photos with each other but I did not care to do so. None of them were my true friends.

When I am gone, there is no reason for others to know that I really existed other than in the scientific journals that I publish. People tend to not care what you looked like by that point in time.



babybird
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02 Oct 2021, 9:36 am

renaeden wrote:
For photos I say "cheese" and that generally makes me look like I'm smiling properly. Only thing is, it doesn't reach my eyes. I find it hard to make my smile genuine.


I'm gonna try that. I'll say cheese and crinkle my eyes up when I say it try and make it look genuine.