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AngelL
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13 Oct 2021, 3:49 pm

I've been around here for a couple months, but just got dx'd today, like the title said. I knew it was coming, but still feels a little surreal. I'm 56 years old... ASD level 2. I'm relieved and angry. Hopeful and resentful. Kind of an emotional cornucopia right now. I don't know what the point of this post is actually.... but it seemed appropriate somehow.



A_minor
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13 Oct 2021, 4:08 pm

Well... congrats, I guess.
Good chance it'll start making sense and you'll get over it. I did.


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AngelL
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13 Oct 2021, 4:31 pm

A_minor wrote:
Well... congrats, I guess.
Good chance it'll start making sense...


Oh, it has always made sense to me - just can't figure out how the rest of the world missed it this long is all...particularly the professionals.


A_minor wrote:
...and you'll get over it.


Of course, but a good reminder all the same. Difference for me today is, I'll feel and actually get over it. Not too often long ago, I'd dig a hole and bury the feelings and think I was over it. It took a half century but somehow, all those feelings I buried? They figured out how to survive down there, figured out which way was up and started digging. The hit the surface about a year ago...been dealing with 'em ever since.



CinderashAutomaton
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13 Oct 2021, 5:37 pm

It took around 10 years of seeing mental health professionals before someone figured it out, and I had a crystal clear case of selective mutism in elementary school not to mention special interests. I mean, what 7 year old teaches themselves to program computers in DOS prompt and reads adult novels (as in target audience, not sexual content) in class and during recess, plus the host of other problems...

I can definitely relate to the anger at the realization of people constantly dropping the ball.

Sorry you also went through such things AngelL. Hope your brain calms down and you feel better soon.


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AprilR
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14 Oct 2021, 2:16 am

I am glad that you got diagnosed. I hope this can affect you positively long term.



autisticelders
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14 Oct 2021, 4:56 am

Diagnosis was like my second birth (at age 68). I was able to use the feedback provided from the testing to help my self understanding about what I do well and what is hardest for me.
Using that info I have been able to make accommodations/ adjustments in the way I do many things, and it has made my life so much better.

It has taken me a couple of years of emotional homework , looking at all of my miserable life and finally understanding how autism worked behind the scenes without anybody knowing.

The change of perspective is immense. The feelings it stirs up can be overwhelming.

Do use plenty of Self care and patience with yourself and the jumbled emotions as you sort it out.

Congratulations on your diagnosis. It was for me a relief to finally understand what was really going on in all those years of hurt and confusion. You are not alone!



WeirdMetronome
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14 Oct 2021, 5:43 am

CinderashAutomaton wrote:
I mean, what 7 year old teaches themselves to program computers in DOS prompt


Haha, this was me, though slightly older as I didn't get a PC until around 10 or so. :D If I wasn't at school, I spent the rest of my time in front of my PC messing around with code. Even before then I had so many obvious other signs. How I ended up not even getting sent to see anyone is a complete mystery. :\

Though I don't have a diagnosis I can relate to the mixed emotions. Even though it's been a few years since I've realised that I'm autistic occassionally I still feel a bit overwhelmed by it all. Definitely anger and resentment for sure, since I feel like things would have been so much more different if I had had the proper support when I was a child.

On the positive side, you can start to understand yourself better and stop being so hard on yourself. :)



cecilfienkelstien
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14 Oct 2021, 10:07 am

Congrats and welcome to the club!


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OccasionalSeagull
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14 Oct 2021, 3:05 pm

AngelL wrote:
I've been around here for a couple months, but just got dx'd today, like the title said. I knew it was coming, but still feels a little surreal. I'm 56 years old... ASD level 2. I'm relieved and angry. Hopeful and resentful. Kind of an emotional cornucopia right now. I don't know what the point of this post is actually.... but it seemed appropriate somehow.


Hello hello! I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say 'congrats' because I'm still waiting to even *see* a doctor (#16 rejected me yesterday- yipee) but my primary care gave me rudimentary evaluations and the kind people here shared some resources that all but confirmed I have some form of Aspergers and (was) very, very good at masking. A mental breakdown took that ability away.

I. Feel. Your. Anger.

The people who made me got my younger brothers help, but told me that girls were just flighty, spacey, that I specifically was just stupid, trying to get attention, trying to make them look bad, and the BEST ONE they said was "You're just copying what you see"
Which was the only partly true thing- apparently thats masking. I just assumed every human grew up watching and mimicking and thats how society existed. No idea it was supposed to be natural.

Take your time.
Ride your emotions like waves and be patient with yourself. I imagine there's a bizarre peace beneath the anger, and I sincerely hope its pleasant for you.

I hate how the world treats (us?). Please be kind and gentle to yourself. Even though I haven't been diagnosed I've found nothing but love, patience, acceptance, and ample opportunities to learn about myself and others here as I'm sure you're aware (I hope).

Take it easy my friend!


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Juliette
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14 Oct 2021, 3:44 pm

Hey Angel … that is a huge deal! You clearly were seeking a diagnosis, so it hope it goes some ways to explain your life to this point. I hope you can accept and embrace all that this means.



SharonB
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14 Oct 2021, 6:23 pm

Congratulations!! !! ! (seriously) Welcome.



Double Retired
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15 Oct 2021, 3:35 pm

Knowledge is Power? Or, at least, Knowledge is Relief?


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OccasionalSeagull
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15 Oct 2021, 5:44 pm

Double Retired wrote:
Knowledge is Power? Or, at least, Knowledge is Relief?

Bruh I'm gonna need you to stop posting gold :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

"Knowledge is Relief" should be the late-diagnosis banner.


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CockneyRebel
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16 Oct 2021, 1:21 pm

Sweet Pea hugs and congratulations.


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AngelL
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16 Oct 2021, 2:40 pm

I just wanted to say that even though I am not popping in here every time someone posts with a 'thank you', I appreciate the support and each and every comment. A lot. :heart:



EdCase
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17 Oct 2021, 6:19 pm

AngelL wrote:
I've been around here for a couple months, but just got dx'd today, like the title said. I knew it was coming, but still feels a little surreal. I'm 56 years old... ASD level 2. I'm relieved and angry. Hopeful and resentful. Kind of an emotional cornucopia right now. I don't know what the point of this post is actually.... but it seemed appropriate somehow.


I have been dx'd for a few months same level ASD as you (early 50s), and Moderate ADHD as well to keep things spicy. I understand how you feel. I'm still in the same situation really. My Psych is working on the ADHD meds titration and then we'll see about tackling the rest of it. I suppose it makes sense. There is definitely temporary relief for some of the ADHD symptoms. Long way to go though.


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