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TheOutsider
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26 Jan 2022, 8:32 pm

Does anyone here have serious issues accepting uncertainty? I realize most people don't prefer it, but I'm wondering if having great difficulty tolerating uncertainty is an autistic trait and if anyone here has been successful dealing with it?



Edna3362
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26 Jan 2022, 9:22 pm

Sure I'm for most part. I do very well in uncertainty.

Yes, most people don't actually prefer it. It's partially the fear of unknown, it also inspires helplessness and directionless.

No patterns or references to look back into. Or cannot draw from references.



I don't have enough words to describe how to accept uncertainty, but I'll do my best.

For now what I can offer is strategies;

One is do not expect anything at all. Which is tricky somewhat, the mind likes to find something.
This includes expecting to succeed and fearing the consequences of failing.

Two is plain gamble. Meaning, plenty of guessing as an attempt to regain control -- better than a blank nothing.

Three is turning worry into excitement. It's no different from a switch of perspective from caution to challenge.

Four, perhaps, not very recommended, is utter apathy. It can translate into a form of recklessness.

Fifth, unsure. It's a form of rationalization even of the reasoning isn't rational. It can just be theory making out of nothing.
Not easy if one overthinks and not able to turn around thinking. It can be a mix and match of optimism and pessimism.

Sixth is more of recognizing your anxiety response or needing assurance of certainty -- and don't listen to it.


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autisticelders
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27 Jan 2022, 6:58 am

yes, I hate that! I ask my spouse to set a date to do something, when we will go to the store, on vacation, what time to eat, etc. Getting non specific answers such as "we'll see" or "maybe" make me wild!! ! I want a time and a date and I want to know in advance. I hate "spontaneous" or spur of the moment stuff too.


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ToughDiamond
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27 Jan 2022, 11:49 am

I hated uncertainty when I was young, but I got used to it, more or less. These days I don't think certainty exists. I think the correctness of any assertion is somewhere on a scale between "I've no idea" and "I feel highly confident that's correct / incorrect."

I guess it's a matter of not dwelling on doubt too much, of just recognising it and assessing what's the worst thing that can happen if I act as if I'm right but it turns out I was wrong. Reasonable risks and all that. It's not ideal, but I don't see what can be done about it.

I get the impression that a lot of people pretend they can't fail, as a way of boosting their morale. I don't need that, not because I'm superior, but because I can't need a solution that doesn't work for me. I know perfectly well that I can fail. People who ooze confidence don't sway me much. As far as I can see, they're just faking, maybe even delusional. So I've learned not to need it. Luckily there's this thing where you know you're taking a risk but you continue because your best assessment of the situation is that it's better than avoiding that risk. It's called courage.

But yes, it's complicated when the rug under your feet is always threatening to move. Still, you can do your best to get your way of life more certain. I'm a defensive pessimist who puts a lot of energy into figuring out what might go wrong and taking action to stop that happening. So my life is relatively safe, though it will never be perfectly safe.



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27 Jan 2022, 11:54 am

Periodic uncertainty seems inevitable to me.
But anyone trying to convince that uncertainty is inevitable all the time is probably a con artist trying to confuse me so they can take advantage of me somehow.
There is also the concept that what starts as uncertainty in at least some cases ends up being a known certainty because someone decided to educate and/or otherwise figure it out and succeeded.
Being confused is not something I fear. I don't know everything about everything and never will so being confused about some things is - again - inevitable.



txfz1
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27 Jan 2022, 11:59 am

I hate uncertainty, I’m more comfortable with a plan. “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the nose” - Mike Tyson. I don’t like surprises and I’m rarely spontaneous. The downside is I also hate changes and want to stick to my plan even after my nose has been punched.



Minuteman
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27 Jan 2022, 4:22 pm

How much do I hate uncertainty? As a kid around Christmas time, I would sneak into my parents' closet, carefully unwrap my presents to see what I got, then carefully rewrap the presents.



HighLlama
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27 Jan 2022, 4:30 pm

TheOutsider wrote:
Does anyone here have serious issues accepting uncertainty? I realize most people don't prefer it, but I'm wondering if having great difficulty tolerating uncertainty is an autistic trait and if anyone here has been successful dealing with it?


Depends on the uncertainty. If it's a threat to my boundaries/routine/stability, it will probably make me lose a lot of sleep. If it's a smaller issue it will annoy me, but I can probably move on.



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29 Jan 2022, 7:55 pm

It often makes me breakdown :')