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Caz72
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13 May 2022, 11:05 am

wasting 10 years of my life being a alcoholic druggie sex object


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jimmy m
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13 May 2022, 11:30 am

ChrisInAustralia wrote:
so what I wondered is, assuming we all had struggles growing up, what's the one thing we regret missing out on


I don't regret. If I went back in time and tried to change things, the result would alter the stream of decision that I made during my life. IT WOULD MESS THINGS UP. Sure my life was rough. But I endured and grew stronger and smarter as a result. So even though I am 73 years old, suffered a massive stroke (one that would normally destroy a persons brain forever) and quickly ended my life, I survived and still go MY OWN WAY in this world I call home.


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MuddRM
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13 May 2022, 12:54 pm

When I still lived outside Chicago, I had a chance to sing with the Chicago Symphony Chorus, which, at the time, was under the direction of Dr. Margaret Hillis, who was choral director and professor of choral conducting at Northwestern University. I would have had an opportunity to perform under the then director of the Chicago Symphony, Sir Georg Solti. Sadly, I turned down that opportunity, mostly because 1) my father recently passed away 2) my full time employer would never leave me off work early to attend rehearsal or matinee performances. (They allowed me to do so for the McHenry County Youth theater performance of West Side Story, primarily because it was a two week run of that show. It also helped that the president of the company saw me dragging 3 clarinets into the office every day (my ever-lovin’ Buffet R-13 Soprano clarinet, McHenry High School’s Selmer Series 10 E-Flat soprano, and Woodstock High School’s LeBlanc Bass Clarinet.). I gave up playing 3 days after that show closed, which is when my father died of liver cancer.). 25 years, I had carpal tunnel surgery, which guaranteed I’d never pick up a horn ever again.)



Lace-Bane
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13 May 2022, 1:24 pm

not having been ready for first love. would have to have met someone like her prior, and have had about a decade apart to try to understand her, to have been the right man at the time of meeting, while there’s no one even remotely like her. no serious interest in anyone has been felt since or prior.

it’s not particularly a fault for having shown interest, but not having started on a classical instrument with formal training, like violin, piano, or flute as a small child... it likely also would have improved academics in it’s further rounding of cognitive gymnastics in ways basic studies didn’t.

not going to schools with sound investment in the sciences during development. even at a nice new high school in california, they were taught by gym teachers that’d just leave textbooks out with busy worksheets to fill in, or note taking assignments, for the students to teach themselves, rather than making anything about it even remotely interesting. it wasn’t realized until about thirty that strong interests would have been had in neurobiology, which would have given a solid idea of major, rather than dropping out of college just before finishing general education none the wiser without being willing to risk the insurmountable debt for something known good at in the over saturated arts.

not having been properly introduced to studies of foreign languages until an adult. you get four years of something like spanish in high school, but that translates to two semesters worth in college, which isn’t even enough to go beyond phrasing. it’s felt a choice of spanish or french should be taught alongside english upon beginning elementary, while a much more different one like chinese, arabic, or russian tacked on by middle. it’d teach americans just how much they don’t know in judging others blindly, that not all languages follow similar paths toward sentiment, or all etiquettes resulting in the same intended meanings, while potentially reducing racism in the country significantly.


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ToughDiamond
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14 May 2022, 9:30 pm

I don't really regret much. I tend to take the view that I did my best with what I had at the time.

In a sense I wish I'd never got involved with one of the women I married, because it led to a lot of painful problems for me and for my son of that marriage when it broke down, but on the other hand I don't wish he'd never been born.

Also in a sense I wish I'd not abandoned my first job and moved to a new town and tried a completely different way of life, but the job had been scaring me to death and I had to do something. I probably lost a lot of money as a result of that decision, and eventually had to get another job in the same field (at a lower grade), but I never went into serious poverty as a result of quitting the first job, and if I'd tried to keep going there I'd never have had the rich variety of experiences I had when I did quit, many of which were interesting and rewarding.

I suppose I wish I'd not spent so much time re-inventing the wheel with my musical pursuits - I must have spent years "making silk pursed out of sow's ears" on the technical side of music instead of taking advantage of received wisdom and pursuing the subject more conventionally, but it's just the way I am, and although it was a very long way round to where I wanted to be, it was also quite fascinating and I enjoyed developing obscure skills and techniques to squeeze good results out of cheap equipment that most people would have just left alone.

People don't often really find out what would have happened if they'd taken a different turn at some particular point in their lives, not in terms of whether or not they'd have been any happier overall. Most decisions have an upside and a downside to them, and those decisions are rarely completely right or wrong.



auntblabby
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15 May 2022, 2:08 am

not living up to anybody's expectations.



AprilR
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15 May 2022, 11:05 am

I don't regret anything. I did my best to protect myself from ableist people's negativity, my parents especially and still do to this day.
There was no chance for anything to be better for me where i live. I did everything in my life to survive to this day and i am proud of myself.



SharonB
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15 May 2022, 12:04 pm

^^ Love that AprilR. Keep it up!! ! I hope I can say the same one day. Getting there. :heart:



AprilR
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15 May 2022, 12:32 pm

^ Ty so much :heart: I think that i always did my best considering my circumstances. I am hopeful for the future too, although sometimes i get disheartened.

I am sure you also have many reasons to be proud of yourself too!



naturalplastic
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15 May 2022, 3:34 pm

General stupidity.

Like when that girl hit on me and I was too stupid and inflexible to notice it and respond.



auntblabby
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16 May 2022, 12:25 am

^^^same here. i dread my life review.



Dear_one
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16 May 2022, 12:41 am

I had a classic missed opportunity to get better acquainted with a woman, but it only hit me years later, and just seems funny. I did notice enough more persistent ones to know that it is not always a blessing.
I did waste a lot of years giving people the benefit of the doubt, but it did give me a better social life, in a way.
One genuine regret I just thought of: I was buying a few bottles of bargain-priced maple syrup in bottles that looked like liquor bottles. There were two women at the check stand, mostly to kibitz with each other, but the "bagger" mock-whispered to me that it wasn't what it looked like. I wish I'd whispered back that I'd gotten the yeast the day before and the cashier didn't suspect a thing.



mohsart
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16 May 2022, 3:56 am

I regret how I treated my relationship with my sons mother.
I didn't understand what was happening and we separated against both our wills, and I ended up not having any contact with my son until he was grown up.

/Mats


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Dear_one
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16 May 2022, 8:40 am

Come to think of it, I should probably have told my ex that she had decorated the house very nicely, but I was in a Buddhist phase. However, I regret dwelling on all negatives, so I'm going to start a thread on what I'm glad about.



BlossX
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16 May 2022, 8:42 am

I regret not regretting anything.



Texasmoneyman300
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17 May 2022, 1:34 am

I most regret not being married by now.