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temp1234
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18 May 2022, 2:56 pm

As someone pointed out, it's not really helpful to regret the past because you can't change the past. Although I'm very aware of it, it's human nature to regret. However, you can turn it around and motivate yourself to change your future. That's what I try to do. When this negative feeling of regret starts occupying my mind, I make a conscious effort to think about what I can learn from this regret about the past and what I can do now. I actually do benefit from doing so.

Any way, what I do regret is not having had more faith in myself in the past simply because other people did their best to make me feel inferior mostly due to my social awkwardness. However, I learned from it and am now very aware that those malicious people are not worth listening to. Now I'm still socially awkward but I know I am superior to many people in some ways, for example, in logical thinking and in doing work with accuracy.



auntblabby
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19 May 2022, 4:22 am

i regret that i decided to incarnate in amuuurica.



Polynechramorph
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19 May 2022, 6:55 am

ThisTimelessMoment wrote:
^ ❤ the avatar

BTW (off topic) I was wondering about the middle portion of your profile name: nechra? Not necro exactly... what's it mean?


"Poly" meaning multifaceted "nechra" is a muddle of technical and necromancy a sort of technical wizard "morph" ever changing. :D


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ThisTimelessMoment
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19 May 2022, 7:12 am

^ very nice


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UncannyDanny
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19 May 2022, 7:54 am

Oh, my goodness, where do I even begin?

1. Living with my dad since childhood. Man, I was SO naive back then that I never realised my father's true dark colors. I used to think of him as a well-meaning yet very flawed parent I wanted to look up to. But he didn't really care much about raising me properly like a REAL dad would, grounds me over the the most minor troubles I made, is an absolute scumbag to my mom, frequently tells me to "grow up" even though HE himself is very childish and irresponsible, and just goes along with my wicked stepmother's mistreatment towards me (then again, autism wasn't known much at the time, but is there ANY excuse for just treating me like chicken excrement?!).

2. Make friends with more meaningful peers during highschool. When I was in high school, there used to be some group of kids I wanted to make friends with only because their family is close friends my stepfather, but they're not really good role models. They're singularly into porn, drugs, and not much else. In fact, when I was playing my Pokemon Diamond on front of them, they're like, "Dude, why are you playing that? They're only for little kids!" (Bruh, what I want to play on MY game is MY business! :roll: ) And they try to get me into sex and porn, but I keep telling them that I'm NOT interested (to be honest, I'm not really comfortable about talking about that topic that openly like that, and I didn't really know whether I was asexual, demisexual, or sex-repulsed, especially since I've literally never been in a relationship with someone before)! That's when I've learned the hard way that you can NOT make friends with those who make you feel uncomfortable, instead you should make friends with those who are more understanding and well-meaning.

I had been thinking about those things for a while, and now I wanted to share this with you guys to get them off my chest.


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Polynechramorph
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19 May 2022, 8:09 am

UncannyDanny wrote:
Oh, my goodness, where do I even begin?

1. Living with my dad since childhood. Man, I was SO naive back then that I never realised my father's true dark colors. I used to think of him as a well-meaning yet very flawed parent I wanted to look up to. But he didn't really care much about raising me properly like a REAL dad would, grounds me over the the most minor troubles I made, is an absolute scumbag to my mom, frequently tells me to "grow up" even though HE himself is very childish and irresponsible, and just goes along with my wicked stepmother's mistreatment towards me (then again, autism wasn't known much at the time, but is there ANY excuse for just treating me like chicken excrement?!).

2. Make friends with more meaningful peers during highschool. When I was in high school, there used to be some group of kids I wanted to make friends with only because their family is close friends my stepfather, but they're not really good role models. They're singularly into porn, drugs, and not much else. In fact, when I was playing my Pokemon Diamond on front of them, they're like, "Dude, why are you playing that? They're only for little kids!" (Bruh, what I want to play on MY game is MY business! :roll: ) And they try to get me into sex and porn, but I keep telling them that I'm NOT interested (to be honest, I'm not really comfortable about talking about that topic that openly like that, and I didn't really know whether I was asexual, demisexual, or sex-repulsed, especially since I've literally never been in a relationship with someone before)! That's when I've learned the hard way that you can NOT make friends with those who make you feel uncomfortable, instead you should make friends with those who are more understanding and well-meaning.

I had been thinking about those things for a while, and now I wanted to share this with you guys to get them off my chest.


Thanks for sharing. It can be hugely relieving to just get it out sometimes. I had some similar experiences growing up in a dysfunctional family. More neglect than abuse. At some point I decided to just forgive them for doing the best they could under their circumstances. It helped me to be more in tune with my own kids. But even that hasn't always worked out. I guess at some point I just decided to get on with my own life and stop doting on the past. There is a process involved, it's never that easy.


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I could try to be more "normal" but I hold myself to a higher standard!
Convention is the last refuge for the unimaginative! Oscar Wilde(ish)