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ToughDiamond
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20 May 2022, 3:16 pm

SpiralingCrow wrote:
I don't tend to discuss relationship issues with friends. If there is problem, I discuss it with my boyfriend and we work through it as couple. In the past other people have discussed their relationship issues with me but not so much the other way around. Perhaps that's why those friendships did not last, because it was not reciprocal.

I probably misused the word "issues." It would seem pretty indiscreet and perhaps reckless to divulge actual current serious partner problems to just anybody, though if the problems had become overwhelming then it must be a great help to share them with a responsible, patient and wise friend. I suppose the fact that relationship counsellors exist suggests that such friends don't grow on trees. But I was more meaning relationship issues in the sense of general relationship observations, without naming names. I get the feeling that a lot of people struggle to understand relationships in general and for some reason I've found that women are less squeamish about taking an interest in the subject, and men have often seemed like they'd rather avoid it apart from a few indelicate comments.

I've known both genders to air their prejudices (both in general and about their partners) as if they want the listener to reinforce them though. I don't know if it's a NT thing. When I've been on the receiving end I've been loathe to give them that reinforcement, I've preferred to offer them what I see as a fairer and more objective point of view, if I can think of one. If they don't like it, I guess it means we're on different wavelengths. Sometimes when they're obviously upset by their plight at the hands of the opposite sex I've just let them rant, and tried to pick up on what feelings they're indirectly expressing and to respond in a helpful way. I guess I tend to assume they're eventually going to try to resolve their problems, but I've known some folks seem content to just express themselves indirectly and perpetuate their conflicts and negativity. If they're happy with such an unhealthy way, I just find it hard to respect them. Sometimes the matter gets too complicated for me to be of much help.



PhosphorusDecree
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21 May 2022, 11:13 am

I didn't get the hang of socialising with men until my mid 30s - I get on much better with women.


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aajiplanet
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22 May 2022, 6:26 am

Yes, there was difference between a girlfriend and a boyfriend. In my opinion friendship with the opposite sex has been long-lasting than another one.



Jakki
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22 May 2022, 9:53 am

Would participate in this thread concerning male female relationship but have several times got messages “ that I am not Authorised to read this Thread”. Kinda kills the value of participation . Friendships with opposite esx.
Is a worthwhile thread . :o


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kraftiekortie
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22 May 2022, 9:56 am

Why would you get that sort of message? That doesn’t make sense.

I’m a man. I can be friends with you, Jakki, without wanting to “get into your pants.” :)



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22 May 2022, 10:29 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Why would you get that sort of message? That doesn’t make sense.

I’m a man. I can be friends with you, Jakki, without wanting to “get into your pants.” :)


Thank you Kraftie ,much appreciated……. I do not understand why , I have received those messages ????
I recieve notification that there is a new message to the thread …. I click on it, it goes to the WP site .
And there is the same message . It has happened to me in other threads , before .But it keeps coming up in this one , and I have never addressed this issue before on this site . Usually I just give up . :|


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ToughDiamond
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22 May 2022, 11:13 am

Jakki wrote:
I recieve notification that there is a new message to the thread …. I click on it, it goes to the WP site .
And there is the same message . It has happened to me in other threads , before .But it keeps coming up in this one , and I have never addressed this issue before on this site . Usually I just give up . :|

It happens to me from time to time. I think it's a technical issue with the software. The only way round it that I've found is to navigate to the topic from the main list. It's tedious, but it sometimes works.



SpiralingCrow
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22 May 2022, 11:45 am

Jakki wrote:
Would participate in this thread concerning male female relationship but have several times got messages “ that I am not Authorised to read this Thread”. Kinda kills the value of participation . Friendships with opposite esx.
Is a worthwhile thread . :o


Sorry Jakki. I'm sure it must be some kind of glitch. I can't imagine any reason why you'd get this message.



Jakki
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22 May 2022, 11:47 am

Okay Thank You for that information. ToughDiamond , will try it .


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Jakki
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22 May 2022, 11:55 am

SpiralingCrow wrote:
Jakki wrote:
Would participate in this thread concerning male female relationship but have several times got messages “ that I am not Authorised to read this Thread”. Kinda kills the value of participation . Friendships with opposite esx.
Is a worthwhile thread . :o


Sorry Jakki. I'm sure it must be some kind of glitch. I can't imagine any reason why you'd get this message.



Oddly , I do not remember this happening a year ago . TY .


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22 May 2022, 12:48 pm

As a male I have always had more female friends. Im not sure about this being an exclusively autism thing though. I have taken part is several men's groups with plainly NT males. (Though being in that sort of group probably indicates being more sensitive than most). It is a common thing, according to these men, to have more female friends. The general understanding was that women are more likely to be accepting of us as we are than other men. As a male it is easier to be vulnerable with a woman than with another male, where all the macho nonsense gets in the way.


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MaxE
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22 May 2022, 12:59 pm

SpiralingCrow wrote:
Jakki wrote:
Would participate in this thread concerning male female relationship but have several times got messages “ that I am not Authorised to read this Thread”. Kinda kills the value of participation . Friendships with opposite esx.
Is a worthwhile thread . :o


Sorry Jakki. I'm sure it must be some kind of glitch. I can't imagine any reason why you'd get this message.

I believe one way this can happen is should somebody delete a message.


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Pepe
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22 May 2022, 8:49 pm

Jakki wrote:
Would participate in this thread concerning male female relationship but have several times got messages “ that I am not Authorised to read this Thread”. Kinda kills the value of participation . Friendships with opposite esx.
Is a worthwhile thread . :o


Were you given a notification of a new post via email?
Perhaps the post was deleted/Put-in-the-dungeon?


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And one more thing,



Also, as George Carlin said, "I have no stake in the outcome." I'll stick around for the comedy.

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Pepe
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22 May 2022, 8:50 pm

MaxE wrote:
SpiralingCrow wrote:
Jakki wrote:
Would participate in this thread concerning male female relationship but have several times got messages “ that I am not Authorised to read this Thread”. Kinda kills the value of participation . Friendships with opposite esx.
Is a worthwhile thread . :o


Sorry Jakki. I'm sure it must be some kind of glitch. I can't imagine any reason why you'd get this message.

I believe one way this can happen is should somebody delete a message.


Deleting messages happens a lot on WP.


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Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. There are *4* lights. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,



Also, as George Carlin said, "I have no stake in the outcome." I'll stick around for the comedy.

"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet."
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)
Read my lips:-I am not a fan of the orange man.-I would never vote for the Republican party given the chance.-I am interested in being objective and rational.


Rexi
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22 May 2022, 9:22 pm

MaxE wrote:
SpiralingCrow wrote:
Jakki wrote:
Would participate in this thread concerning male female relationship but have several times got messages “ that I am not Authorised to read this Thread”. Kinda kills the value of participation . Friendships with opposite esx.
Is a worthwhile thread . :o


Sorry Jakki. I'm sure it must be some kind of glitch. I can't imagine any reason why you'd get this message.

I believe one way this can happen is should somebody delete a message.

Or a thread, yes. The link of a thread that has been removed displays that message that I know of.


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Rexi
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22 May 2022, 9:29 pm

Pepe wrote:
MaxE wrote:
SpiralingCrow wrote:
Jakki wrote:
Would participate in this thread concerning male female relationship but have several times got messages “ that I am not Authorised to read this Thread”. Kinda kills the value of participation . Friendships with opposite esx.
Is a worthwhile thread . :o


Sorry Jakki. I'm sure it must be some kind of glitch. I can't imagine any reason why you'd get this message.

I believe one way this can happen is should somebody delete a message.


Deleting messages happens a lot on WP.

Not that often for my messages, hehe. *flex* 8)

I am the pure one, the chosen one. I will propagate the autistic perfection 1000%. I will learn the language of the wild species I interact with and share technology.


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