People who let their kids run around in stores

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CockneyRebel
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21 Oct 2004, 8:57 am

Don't get me wrong. I usually love shopping. It's one of the things that I do to pass my time. How ever, that can change in an instant when I see kids running around the store and their mother(or father) is just standing there, looking at an item or talking to a friend. What makes it even worse is when the kids are old enough not to do it.

What is your take on this?



onewitheverything
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21 Oct 2004, 9:18 am

it is annoying, especaly when your the uncle of a problem child and if you yell in anger at the child your sister would not ne happy with you,so i find myself walking on eggshells and avoiding the situation.


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NeantHumain
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21 Oct 2004, 10:39 am

I was a kid who did this when I was 4 or 5 or so. I think the parents try to stop it, but some of them stop trying because even one moment of their attention being focused elsewhere gives the child an opportunity to run through the nearest rack of clothes.

My mother actually used a sort of leash on me at one point to keep me from running wild as she did errands. I guess I was somewhat hyperactive as a young child.



ilster
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21 Oct 2004, 4:09 pm

One of the problems, from a parents point of view, is that if you restrain your child (particularly kiddies on the spectrum), chances are they will throw a magnificent tantrum. You then have the problem of a screaming, wailing, thumping mess - also annoying everyone around you. If you proceed to discipline, the situation will escalate, and people around you will be VERY, VERY angry. If you use my technique and walk away (ignore), the parents in the (now very interested and annoyed) crowd become outraged, because in their day they would have ......
So you see, apart from just not going out (which is my prefered option), sometimes the most peaceful way to shop is to allow your child to roam and be a little adventurous, hopefully with a smile on its face.



Arashi
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23 Oct 2004, 10:30 am

We used to have more of a problem with this with our son, (who has AS). But after doing RDI with him for a while, he's much better. He actually keeps an eye out for us.

Still, occasionally he just wants to run around and throw a fit. When that happens we leave the store / mall.



animallover
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23 Oct 2004, 12:28 pm

This is one of my pet peves! Now, I understand if the parent is trying to control the child - after all, none of us were ideal children, I'm sure - but when they are just letting them run around with reckless abandon . . .

Here is a great example - at the church I go to there is this one lady who lets her, say, about 3 year old wander the building during the service - including going up and messing with things on the alter - this is just not acceptable - but she doesn't believe in disiplining children . . . one day I'm going to have to stand up and say 'YOU - sit down now!'
This same child was at my house during a Bible study (I've only done this once - I had no clue at all that 40 people would show up - I was just a tad bit stressed with that many people in my territory) - anyway, I collect beanie babies - and this same child proceeded to take my beanies down off of their shelves - one at a time - and hand them to her mother - who just gave me this look like 'Oh well' - so, after a while this child had to walk by me to get to the beanies - because I had put myself in her way - and I put my arm up to block her way to them and said 'No - you can't go that way . . .' - very quietly - not yelling at all like I wanted to . . . and her mother got mad at ME . . .

What is sad is that my education in psychology tells me that children who are not disiplined have the most problems later in life because they think they should get everything they want . . .
To me this is just as sad as someone who doesn't properly train a large dog and then gets rid of him because 'he is just out of control' . . .

But then, I have said over and over again, I would be a very bad parent and I know that . . .



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25 Oct 2004, 11:33 pm

There are proven aproches to this problem, and it involves speaking directly with the child at a point when you have their full attention, perhaps outside the store, or even progressively over a week's time.

The worst thing you can do is just ignore them, it makes them think that it is "allowed", or atleast appropriate.



ilster
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27 Oct 2004, 5:40 am

What happens in the case when they are trying to attract attention, and doing all the naughty things? Is it right to respond to them then??? Should we not make an informed decision as to whether we should reward them or ignore them?
touchy parent



Maria_Kimmioso
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01 Nov 2004, 9:34 am

You shouldnt ignore them but many people od so they dont know that they shouldnt do that then the parents are like oh well who cares.



UltimApe
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14 Nov 2004, 9:35 pm

ilster wrote:
What happens in the case when they are trying to attract attention, and doing all the naughty things? Is it right to respond to them then??? Should we not make an informed decision as to whether we should reward them or ignore them?
touchy parent


tell them that you will be forced to get a baby siter if they are not well behaved in teh store. if they are doing it for attention, then they won't want to be home with a baby sitter.



hale_bopp
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15 Nov 2004, 3:52 am

It's as annoying as hell.

I wasn't brought up like that so I just can't comprehend people that let their chilrden do what the heck they want, especially when it's bothering others.

At my work they nearly trip me up, mess up clean tables, make a mess with food, and just in general run around and get in the way.

People should have more respect for others and learn how to control their children.



duncvis
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15 Nov 2004, 5:01 am

ilster wrote:
One of the problems, from a parents point of view, is that if you restrain your child (particularly kiddies on the spectrum), chances are they will throw a magnificent tantrum. You then have the problem of a screaming, wailing, thumping mess - also annoying everyone around you. If you proceed to discipline, the situation will escalate, and people around you will be VERY, VERY angry. If you use my technique and walk away (ignore), the parents in the (now very interested and annoyed) crowd become outraged, because in their day they would have ......
So you see, apart from just not going out (which is my prefered option), sometimes the most peaceful way to shop is to allow your child to roam and be a little adventurous, hopefully with a smile on its face.


I agree. Not going out with my (Aspie) eldest for extended periods is usually the easiest but allowing limited capering is the best compromise, as he gets progressively louder and refuses to move if pressured. Add a grumpy toddler and a totally hyper six year old girl to the mix, and you have a recipe for people to be annoyed by us. Tough. People who judge those with noisy/undisciplined children need to bear in mind that not all children are amenable to following instructions or may be easily overstimulated, and in public they have a captive audience to play up to. :P

Try putting yourself in our shoes those of you without kids who judge us, and experience the frustration.

dunc :evil:


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ilster
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16 Nov 2004, 4:21 pm

Yay for Duncvis!

It takes being a parent to understand the complexities of child rearing and discipline, and I have found trying to explain to non parents, and parents with exceptionally quiet kids, what is going on next to impossible.



CockneyRebel
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18 Nov 2004, 8:15 am

Thankyou for all of your replies and opinions. Now I have many angles to look at this issue from. I would like you to keep your replies comming. :)



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22 May 2022, 5:53 pm

It is a lack of consideration for others and a lack of discipline as a parent to ones children.
The only ones who have a valid excuse for running around a store are the pensioners as most of these no longer have parents to discipline them.



Joe90
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22 May 2022, 6:54 pm

Wow this thread is 18 years old!

Quite a good discussion though. I hate when people let their kids run around in stores. When I was a kid the supermarkets were much more hotter on how children behaved in stores, and sometimes the staff would even tell you off if you were seen messing about or running around. But now, in this day and age, nobody ever tells kids off for being bratty in stores and most parents just let their kids use everything as a playground - which is surprising considering all the over-the-top health and safety policies and regulations that everywhere has in place today.


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