Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

HeroOfHyrule
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2020
Age: 21
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 8,827
Location: Pacific Northwest

18 Jul 2022, 12:47 am

Does anyone get the urge to run off when they get really stressed out or overstimulated?

Now that I'm able to have more control over what I do, where I go, and am getting more comfortable going places by myself, I've been getting the urge to just run off whenever I'm really upset or near a meltdown. My brain will just keep telling me that I need to escape the situation and find somewhere to be by myself. I'm worried that if I do eventually have a meltdown and lose control, that I'll run off and get hurt.

I used to get the urge to do this when I was a little kid, but my parents never even let me go to another part of a store by myself even as an adult, so I developed enough anxiety about being by myself that I haven't had to deal with this feeling again until now.

So far there's been a few times at work where I've almost had meltdowns and had to stop myself from just panicking and leaving in the middle of work. I've also had to stop myself from doing this at home or in stores a few times. I feel like people will think I'm crazy and/or immature if I do eventually react like this.


_________________
I use he/him pronouns.

I watch a lot of cartoons and anime. I also have a cat and a rabbit as pets. I like to learn + catalogue information about other organisms, especially rodents (+ related animals) and great apes.

I don't often respond to PMs, unless I interact with the person that's PMing me a lot on the forums.


Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,901
Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔

18 Jul 2022, 1:37 am

The closest I get when it comes to places was simply having the desire to rest than avoid or flee the situation itself;
'This bag is heavy. My arms are tired. I just want to put the bag down.' kind of 'fleeing'.


But actual fleeing?
That would require me something emotional and possibly involving delicate situations beyond myself in nature than sensory scenarios.


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).


kitesandtrainsandcats
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2016
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,473
Location: Missouri

18 Jul 2022, 2:41 am

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
So far there's been a few times at work where I've almost had meltdowns and had to stop myself from just panicking and leaving in the middle of work.


I've hit that point and done that a few times.

Was more stress and overstimulation than panic.

There was only 1 time it didn't end my employment.


_________________
"There are a thousand things that can happen when you go light a rocket engine, and only one of them is good."
Tom Mueller of SpaceX, in Air and Space, Jan. 2011


babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 48,477
Location: UK

18 Jul 2022, 3:44 am

Yes. I'm a runner awayer. Been doing it all my life and I can't see that changing.

My bf calls me a fugitive.



autisticelders
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Feb 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,020
Location: Alpena MI

18 Jul 2022, 4:32 am

Elopement!

I began leaving stressful situations when I was a youngster, age 12 or 13, 14 somewhere around there. I had long been trained never to get angry or display anger, so the "fight" in fight or flight was not an option and sometimes the distress was simply unbearable.

As an adult I have left distressing situations several times. One of the things that helped me the most was to learn self assertive communication skills. I had been taught only to comply to any demand made of me in my growing up and I simply did not have good skills to use when I found myself being put into situations where things became unbearable.

I got counseling and learned how to set boundaries, how to recognize when I was being used, manipulated, intimidated, and how to remove myself from those situations in socially acceptable ways. It hasn't always worked, with practice I had fewer struggles and panic attacks, but I have also had situations where flight was the chosen option.

Learning more about trauma and its natural responses "fight, flight, freeze, fawn" helped me too. There is no reason to have to try to sort it all out on your own. I got great insights and support through therapy and found I really needed an outsider's ability to see sick dynamics, behaviors and beliefs I had been taught as a child. My autistic rigid thinking kept me from understanding that I had many other choices in how to respond to people in any situation and that I could choose which response to use.

It took time to learn those new skills and to feel confident practicing them but the difference has been like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders.

Learning new communication skills probably saved my life and my sanity and is definitely the best thing I ever did to improve my life.

My first instinct is still to flee. I get into panic mode when I think I can not handle a situation, but generally I can "see it coming" by having learned signs of my own agitation and upset and removing myself before it gets to a crisis. ( I call my panic attacks and desire to flee "stampede mode".

We are not doomed to repeat our distressing moments forever, we can learn new skills to help us do life in so many new and better ways.


_________________
https://oldladywithautism.blog/

"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” Samuel Johnson


ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,098

18 Jul 2022, 6:16 am

I don't physically run away, but if I have a task that scares me then my mind tends to avoid tackling it until it's so late in the day that my fear of not getting it done in time becomes greater than my fear of making a start.

I've certainly been in situations where I've wanted to just run off, but generally speaking I see it through. I find it hard to break away from the people I'm with, as if they're going to be very offended if I leave before I'm supposed to. I suppose I picked that up from my experiences at school and work, where it was often against the rules to just walk away.



HeroOfHyrule
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2020
Age: 21
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 8,827
Location: Pacific Northwest

18 Jul 2022, 7:41 am

kitesandtrainsandcats wrote:
I've hit that point and done that a few times.

Was more stress and overstimulation than panic.

There was only 1 time it didn't end my employment.

I'm worried about getting fired if I have a meltdown and elope during work. My manager has an autistic kid, but I don't think the other managers would be as understanding + everyone else at work would probably not want to work with me anymore.


_________________
I use he/him pronouns.

I watch a lot of cartoons and anime. I also have a cat and a rabbit as pets. I like to learn + catalogue information about other organisms, especially rodents (+ related animals) and great apes.

I don't often respond to PMs, unless I interact with the person that's PMing me a lot on the forums.


Mountain Goat
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,460

18 Jul 2022, 8:02 am

Best not to assume things because often assuming may give one a wrong sense of how things actually are if someone independent was to ask what they thought about you and your work.

If you have worries, speak to your manager about them.