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Blue Jay
Blue Jay

Joined: 15 Jun 2018
Age: 23
Gender: Female
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07 Jul 2021, 1:17 pm

Hi all,

Have any of you experienced anxiety issues over "small" things which people you live with consistently do? Some things like that, which annoy me are:

- Waking-up sounds and when my mom puts up my curtains (often!)
- When my mom talks to her friends (she's often loud) and I'm sleeping
- (Some big ones for me): when people eat/sounds/movements in/around the kitchen. (Also, I can't eat with/around people).
- In general, I find it difficult, waking up without my silence, but my mom is an extravert..

I think, this post would be relevant for the adult in-depth discussion, since many adults might experience similar issues, living with their significant others, but idk.

How do/would you deal with this type of thing?

Note: I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder.



PozziBros
Emu Egg
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Joined: 12 Jul 2021
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14 Jul 2021, 7:27 am

thanks for your post



timf
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15 Jul 2021, 1:42 pm

There are things you can change and things you cannot. For sleep sound issues. I leave a fan running all night. This works wonders to drawn out other sounds.

In order to develop the skills to overcome some annoyances, you can use a repetitive situation as an opportunity to experiment with different techniques. For example a default condition can be to hear or see something annoying and think that the other person is doing it intentionally. This can reinforce the annoyance and make it almost perpetually annoying. If you can select something like this and force yourself to to work at seeing the person as acting unintentionally and even within his rights, you may begin to push back a little against reflexive annoyance.

I can testify as one who has lived next to a railroad that after a while you can begin to not notice. So it may be possible to expand your control and reflexive reactions. It just make take longer than for most others.



cornerpiece
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

Joined: 25 Oct 2020
Age: 40
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Location: Europe

19 Jul 2021, 4:46 am

The clicking teeth when eating... Loud speaking. Ignoring my requests not to do something... speaking with hidden/manipulative intentions... not leaving me alone...



sport
Pileated woodpecker
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Joined: 20 Feb 2020
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19 Jul 2021, 11:08 am

I also have anxiety over small things this has been going on for yrs this also when my incontinence will rear up its ugly head which is a totally problem its self.



IsabellaLinton
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19 Jul 2021, 11:37 am

Yes, that sounds like part of GAD but also misophonia.

Misophonia is anxiety triggered by noises which wouldn't bother most other people, leading the person to feel extreme stress or even rage which is disproportionate to the sound.

It's part of Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder because it's a hypersensitivity to stimuli (sound).



Joe90
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23 Jul 2021, 9:19 pm

I used to get very annoyed and agitated by certain noises when I lived at home, because it was so distracting.

I hated people talking outside my bedroom door in the hall, if I was in my bedroom that is.

I hated hearing noises from the kitchen, such as the kettle boiling and the cat meowing.

I found myself sitting with earplugs in or headphones on with music, but sometimes I didn't always want to do that. I just wanted silence. I think I have misophonia, except I don't have a problem with the sound of people chewing. But I do get easily annoyed or agitated at the sound of loud coughing and sneezing. Some people do about 10 sneezes and I just get really irritated to the point where I panic. Coughing is OK if it isn't loud, but some people have such loud coughs especially if they smoke.

I suppose having misophonia can make you sound selfish or unsympathetic but we don't want to be like that. That's why misophonia has a name, you can't help feeling annoyed at certain sounds no more than people can help making those certain sounds.


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SharonB
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04 Aug 2021, 6:46 pm

Now that I know I have ASD/GAD, I use ear plugs. Before that I would be on edge all the time and have meltdowns. Now: Play a board game with my kids: ear plugs! Husband has the radio on: ear plugs! In a hotel with strange noises: ear plugs! I am concerned about missing important sounds, or ear wax buildup, but in the meantime: heaven on earth.

My ASD-like mom used to complain about me scraping my teeth on my fork, so I think she shared this sensitivity. She was not aware, so squarely blamed it on me and my uncouth ways. I am aware, so I will take responsibility for my sensitivity and politely ask my kids to make adjustments or else I will: ear plugs!! (or leave the room, etc.)



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Blue Jay
Blue Jay

Joined: 15 Jun 2018
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Posts: 80

04 Aug 2021, 11:52 pm

Yes, there are many solutions for everything, but many things..

I like your advice, timf! Sometimes it helps me to just concentrate on that person's good energy and my energy, generate good vibes..
Am still learning though