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Were you bullied and if so when?
No 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
Yes, Childhood 34%  34%  [ 45 ]
Yes Teen years 31%  31%  [ 42 ]
Yes, College 7%  7%  [ 10 ]
Yes, Adult 13%  13%  [ 18 ]
Yes, all my life 13%  13%  [ 18 ]
Total votes : 134

Lost_dragon
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15 Apr 2020, 7:21 pm

I was bullied from age five or six and it stopped when I about sixteen. Except for a maths teacher who made fun of me in front of the class for writing down the questions wrong when I was seventeen (if you count that).

Five / Six: ridicule, the subject of jokes and exclusion.

Seven - Eight: More exclusion, some physical bullying, psychological taunts and people cornering me.

Nine - Ten: Physical bullying becomes more intense and psychological attacks lead to self-esteem issues. The occasional gay joke when I was around nine years old.

Eleven - Twelve: verbal taunts, insults regarding my appearance and physical shoving. A few gay jokes about me.

Thirteen - Fourteen: insults about being stupid, hurtful rumours, more insults about my appearance. Physical attacks due to homophobia. Claustrophobia targeted. Tripped in the hallways. Lots of bullying for not being a proper girl in the eyes of my peers. People throwing things at me such as an apple and throwing paint in my face. Acting friendly, suddenly bullying me and then laughing that I thought they liked me (I never thought that though, I knew what they were doing). Homophobic chants and rumours about my sexuality. Exclusion. Pressured to wear make up and style my hair, but whenever I changed even the slightest thing about my appearance getting criticised for being attention seeking. Being thrown off chairs and people telling me that my friends could do much better than having me in their life. Picked on for where my friends lived.

Fifteen-Sixteen: Teachers picking on me and blaming me for their mistakes. Being told to remember my place and to stop being so cocky by other students because I stood up to my teachers. Insults about being bland, uncool and a nerd who thinks too highly of herself. Being pushed over and shoved into small spaces. Gay jokes that I'd gotten used to at this point.


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SharonB
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15 Apr 2020, 8:46 pm

I love belko61 wrote:
Like everything in life, probably but I didn't fully realize the definition of bullying and the subtle ways it can happen.
It definitely happened at a job last year - I didn't know why I went from being an ace in the field to feeling totally incompetent so I talked to a sister about it. A few passive aggressive coworkers - they really did a number on me and I didn't see it coming at all.

That.



nick007
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16 Apr 2020, 8:41 am

Lost_dragon wrote:
Pressured to wear make up and style my hair, but whenever I changed even the slightest thing about my appearance getting criticised for being attention seeking.
Some of us on the spectrum cant win. We do one thing & it's wrong but then we're wrong when we don't or vice-versa. Yet when NTs do or not do that stuff it's perfectly acceptable or even considered kewl or good. I think a lot of the mistreatment us Aspies get is cuz we're unpopular &/or low on the totem-pole instead of us doing or not doing specif things. The issue for us is how do we get a higher status when lots of the time we're in the wrong no matter what we do.


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I love belko61
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16 Apr 2020, 1:55 pm

I've always moved fairly often, neighbourhoods, city. You're right - it's other people that make you feel bad. When I distance myself I'm fine. A do-over, and city life if much more forgiving.



Lost_dragon
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16 Apr 2020, 8:36 pm

nick007 wrote:
Lost_dragon wrote:
Pressured to wear make up and style my hair, but whenever I changed even the slightest thing about my appearance getting criticised for being attention seeking.
Some of us on the spectrum cant win. We do one thing & it's wrong but then we're wrong when we don't or vice-versa. Yet when NTs do or not do that stuff it's perfectly acceptable or even considered kewl or good. I think a lot of the mistreatment us Aspies get is cuz we're unpopular &/or low on the totem-pole instead of us doing or not doing specif things. The issue for us is how do we get a higher status when lots of the time we're in the wrong no matter what we do.


High school and the teenage years in general can be fairly rough. There is a lot of peer pressure to follow trends. I think that if I'd taken a different approach then I could have had the potential to be popular.

Sometimes people didn't know what to make of me. I wasn't popular but I had connections with the popular kids, yet I also hung with the outcasts. People would try to get me to spill information on others but I would refuse. I went through fleeting popularity but would drop back down quickly.

Appearance was a significant part of how others would treat you. Interestingly, it was the guys who reacted negatively to me making slight changes. One time I heard them talking about me. Two guys were talking about how I actually looked kind of cute with my hair down. However, they changed their tone when they turned the corner and saw me. They started insulting me using various words to imply that I was promiscuous and only good for my looks.

I remember another guy who used to cheat off my tests and would tell his friends that I was cheating off of his answers. So he'd openly mock me with his mates knowing that they'd never believe me.

When his mates weren't there he asked me to be his girlfriend. I rejected him, telling him that I wasn't interested. Then I added that's not how you get girls to like you and that he should try being nice to them instead. After that I walked off.

My lack of filter and quiet but assertive nature made me controversial around school. I was often encouraged to change things about myself. To be more talkative, to speak passively to others and to take a less blunt approach. Show less interest in learning. However, over time the traits that I was first criticised for I gained respect for. Not everyone, of course, I did get shunned a bit for being cocky. Yet when I spoke my words held weight.

There was a girl who I didn't get on with. She was a part of a group of popular girls. However, one day she was on her own and didn't know how to handle that. She seemed to attach herself to me for most of the day looking to me for direction and expecting me to tell her what to do. I realised that her previous behaviour was in part due to feeling lost. She was dependent on her group to know how to act. I attempted to encourage her to take her own path and not to just follow my behaviour. That she could do what I do, but only if she wants and not just because she feels an obligation to. However, she went back to following the other girls afterwards.

Public perception started to change when the gay rumours started to surface more. The other girls were worried that I might start checking them out. I would face the wall in changing rooms and avoid eye contact so then they wouldn't feel uncomfortable or accuse me of anything. Later in the year I ended up getting changed by myself. Either in toilet stalls or in the shower space that no one ever used. I was assumed to be predatory but I never acted as such.

Thankfully I'm in a more accepting place now. Granted, I still come across a few people who aren't. Still, my friends and the family members who know that I am gay are accepting. I'm fairly well-liked right now and I'm doing well in terms of grades. My sleeping pattern could certainly be improved though.

I've noticed that people still turn to me for leadership sometimes. Whenever I do lead a project I make sure that everyone is on board with the plan. I am happy to let others take the lead and work in a team. However, if things are going poorly I usually end up doing damage control and helping people get back on track. I am often assumed to be the responsible one, and the one who knows what she's doing but frankly that's misleading because sometimes I have absolutely no idea. :lol:


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blooiejagwa
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17 Apr 2020, 12:26 pm

nick007 wrote:
Lost_dragon wrote:
Pressured to wear make up and style my hair, but whenever I changed even the slightest thing about my appearance getting criticised for being attention seeking.
Some of us on the spectrum cant win. We do one thing & it's wrong but then we're wrong when we don't or vice-versa. Yet when NTs do or not do that stuff it's perfectly acceptable or even considered kewl or good. I think a lot of the mistreatment us Aspies get is cuz we're unpopular &/or low on the totem-pole instead of us doing or not doing specif things. The issue for us is how do we get a higher status when lots of the time we're in the wrong no matter what we do.


A+ totally agree
I think the less obviously autistic/ "weird" you are to them, the more likely they are to be kinder towards you about such things... That is how superficial they are. Kindness shouldn't be dictated by such frivolous stupid things but with NTs it is. There is a lot about them that is just as worthy of being categorized as a disorder, maybe more since they hurt others more than themselves, whereas with us the majority of damage hits us.


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26 Jan 2022, 4:34 am

Bullied age 7-17 and from age 50.
I think it's more to do with what kind of people I have around me than with me and how I behave, since I stayed clear of being bullied for such a long time.

/Mats


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26 Jan 2022, 8:27 am

By everyone, ever, all of the time. Whenever I have spoken a single word or retort against the endless bullies I have encountered, I have been shot down and called a bully, even though I have been raped of my social power, over and over and over again.

Things have started to change, recently....


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nick007
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27 Jan 2022, 7:02 am

blitzkrieg wrote:
By everyone, ever, all of the time. Whenever I have spoken a single word or retort against the endless bullies I have encountered, I have been shot down and called a bully, even though I have been raped of my social power, over and over and over again.

Things have started to change, recently....
I was often accused of bullying during elementry school when I was NOT trying to be mean. When I told on bullies, I would get told it was friendly teasing but when I tried to joke around & be funny, I was thought to be mean. I really hate double standards.

One time in 6th grade a bully accused me of grabbing his crotch during a fight. Looking back I may have brushed against it by accident(I would NEVER do it on purpose) but at the time I really believed that I did not touch it at all. Considering the way my principle & teacher acted, I would NOT of wanted to admit that I had even by accident. I insisted I did not do it but they did NOT listen to me. My dad & me had a meeting with the principle the next morning & dad asked if there were any witnesses. My pricie actually said "I really don't think he would lie". My dad got quiet after that. I'm really glad she did not bother checcking for witnesses because even if I had not done it at all even by accident, I knew the bully had friends who would of been very willing to lie to get me in trouble. My principle talked about how I needed counceling to learn about inapproriate touching. Then she actually started talking about how I needed to tell on bullies when they mess with me. WTF is the point of telling on bullies if they would be automatically believed over me :roll: :wall: My parents might of been open to considering that I had really intentionally done it but after seeing how I was railroaded, they gave me the benefit of the doubt & I was not punished, not sent to counceling, not fussed, & did not get a lecture or talking to. I was in no trouble at all at home. Shortly after that, my parents found out about a school for dyslexia cuz there was an article in a newspaper & my parents enrolled me in there & my bullying suddently stopped 8) I really wish my parents found out about that school a few years sooner.


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27 Jan 2022, 6:50 pm

Mostly between the ages of 11-20. I didn't seem to experience bullying in childhood and I don't really experience bullying now. The teenage years were when bullying peaked because I seemed to be the weirdest I've ever been in my life. I did things when I was 14 that I would have known better not to do at 8.

Age 11-12
I got targeted by kids I didn't know at my school, they'd try and get my attention just to humiliate me. I was weak and stupid so I just let them do it. It wasn't severe bullying but it still wasn't very kind.
Also my cousin's friends picked on me, like were bitchy to me just for the sake of being bitchy, and they'd make me feel insignificant. I felt sad that my cousin let them bully me, being so she loved me and we did everything together outside of school.
Also I got bullied on my way home from school, by 2 girls. They saw that I walked fast so would shout "run!" to me nearly all the way home, until they turned into their street. This upset me and made me not want to walk home on my own, but I had no friends who wanted to walk with me. :cry:

Age 13-14
The other girls in my class started ignoring/rejecting me, and one or two of them didn't want me to have other friends but they didn't want me around them either, so that was a bit confusing. I think they only wanted to see me on my own. In fact most girls enjoyed seeing me on my own. They didn't want me hanging around them but they didn't want me to make other friends either, and weak stupid me did nothing about it.
Also I had 2 older boys call me Japanese every time I walked by them in the hallways (and even if I passed them in the street outside of school!) I was confused because I look nothing like a Japanese girl; I don't have slanted eyes, and my hair was like a dark blonde and I looked typically British. I'm not sure whether to put that down as bullying or not really, but it started getting on my nerves.
I was also bullied by a girl in my class who hated me for being me. She loved all the other girls but hated me, because I was different I suppose. I think she was insecure herself and had a few social challenges that she hid by using me as a punch bag.

Age 15-16
By then I became strong enough to distance myself from all the girls who didn't want me to exist, so I decided to branch out and make other friends. It worked a little; I was invited out a bit more outside school and had them come to my house and I went to their's. But in our last year of school they started getting bitchy, and started unnecessary quarrels that were rather childish. I never started them, all I wanted to be was all friends, but they had to stir things up all the time and it was usually me who ended up getting left out. And being so I was the only one with a stupid diagnosis of stupid Asperger's, the blame was always on me whenever I told the teachers.
Also I got sexually harassed by some younger boys on my way home from school. It upset me, especially when they'd pull down their pants or slap my butt when in a quiet part of the route. I felt embarrassed and disgusted. Then one day I got one of the little s**ts when he was alone and I was with a friend. We pushed him up against the lockers. He ran off and told on me - and I got into trouble for it, because I was older.

Age 17-18
I got picked on a bit in college but it wasn't too personal because they picked on most people. Then they accepted me and I actually fitted in, which I was pleased about. So I didn't have many bullying experiences at this age.

Age 19-20
This was the worst bullying of all. Some of the people I had made friends with in college and often hung out with in town suddenly turned on me. But I think it was because I wasn't 'rough' and 'chavvy' like them. They came from foster homes and were angry and insecure and didn't have much manners or empathy, and maybe they were jealous of me for being in a secure home surrounded by a close, loving family. But they called me a slag because I flirted with older guys, and then they threatened to beat me up. I was so scared to leave my home for a while. I got my mobile number changed and I never saw them again (I think they got into drugs and got pregnant).
Also I got picked on subtly by the women at my volunteer job, and it made me feel miserable there and in the end I left without telling them. They used to get on my case and criticise me, and they'd pick out a harmless quirk of mine and humiliate me about it. And these were women in their 50s and 60s.
Also I got picked on by strangers in public. Other girls would often laugh at me or stare, and I got so self-conscious that I had to have counseling.



And people wonder why I have self-esteem issues...


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Caz72
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27 Jan 2022, 7:39 pm

was homeschooled as a child so wasnt bullied

was in a institution school for special needs when i was a teenager so wasnt really bulled there

i get bulled as a adult by people at work some just hate me and call me hitler


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txfz1
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27 Jan 2022, 8:18 pm

Was bullied as a 3-4 yo but became the bully in the eight grade. Lasted about a month, then got my butt whooped and stopped. Today I only feel bullied if I allow it to happen or fail to stand up to it.



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27 Jan 2022, 8:23 pm

I was actively bullied in elementary school, and then in middle school I was just excluded from things and ignored. I went to an online school in high school so I couldn't get bullied there. lol


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