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JustFoundHere
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02 Jan 2022, 3:17 pm

My purpose of posting and receiving feedback here on WP is to both boost understanding of adults on the Autism Spectrum who are largely independent, and to be proactive - to "break the ice" so to speak!

Yet, the more I post, the more I feel I'm engaging in an increasingly tiring process of semantics - like "stretching the English language to it's limits", and receiving little to no feedback here on WP in the process!

I sense that 'tunnel vision' of sorts stemming from life's concerns of WP members might just be "short circuiting" one's efforts to participate here on WP.

The 'Social Skills & Making Friends' and the 'In-Depth Adult-Life Discussion' Forums offer that dynamic where continuity in discussion threads tends to be more of the rule, rather than the exception, as well as a dynamic which curbs confusing, cumbersome discussion threads.

As an alternative to expressing issues in words (that increasingly tiring process of semantics," I had posted a discussion thread calling for video clips; video clips whose content might just encourage adults on the Autism Spectrum to reconsider social interaction.

To my disappointment, no responses, yet over 100 views (as of this writing) to a discussion thread requesting contributions of helpful video-clips. Why such a latent, silent interest??

Once again, that 'tunnel-vision' "short-circuiting" those efforts to allow WP to become both a helpful, and encouraging resource!

It's possible to overcome tunnel vision - in-spite of the Autism Spectrum!

RELATED: Story (LINK): How to Overcome Hopelessness: Sometimes We Feel Hopeless Because We Get Tunnel Vision.

LINK: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... pelessness



HighLlama
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03 Jan 2022, 6:19 am

For me, personally:

1) I didn't know what kind of "social skills" you were looking to explore or needed help with.

2) I have to work full time, and consider "social skills" all day long. It's something I'd rather forget when I come home. For me it's not tunnel vision, but life feels like one constant traffic jam. And I have to pee. Badly.

Your desire to avoid words is understandable, if they cause so much stress. But you may need to explain, briefly, what you're looking for in some of these threads. The request for videos on social skills was, to me, too open-ended, and maybe others felt the same way, so were unsure how to participate.



JustFoundHere
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03 Jan 2022, 1:12 pm

HighLlama wrote:
For me, personally:

1) I didn't know what kind of "social skills" you were looking to explore or needed help with.

2) I have to work full time, and consider "social skills" all day long. It's something I'd rather forget when I come home. For me it's not tunnel vision, but life feels like one constant traffic jam. And I have to pee. Badly.

Your desire to avoid words is understandable, if they cause so much stress. But you may need to explain, briefly, what you're looking for in some of these threads. The request for videos on social skills was, to me, too open-ended, and maybe others felt the same way, so were unsure how to participate.


Thank-you for your response.

The type of social skills I'm seeking relate to settings away from work, business, etc. I'm seeking to go beyond small-talk.

An excerpt from the discussion thread 'Call For Video Clips To Encourage Social Skills!' might clarify: From my own personal experiences, such video-clips are best candid, surprisingly informal, unscripted, and avoid any of those mentions of those "How To" examples regarding social skills.

Another brief Discussion thread 'Experiences In Guiding TECH. People In How-To Make Friends!'

I had a therapist experienced with Aspergers who attended a conference in the SF Bay Area, and met a business whose services offer help to TECH. people in how to make friends. I'm attempting to find the name of this service. This service probably made videos in which might be of interest here on WP!



traven
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04 Jan 2022, 4:09 am

were you trying to be passive aggressive insulting?
very funny from the op with a narrowing vision avatar

since i have no diagnose - not that much privilege - i can't speak for anything
but i certainly am not disabled, only probably different, more different then i assumed
and also contrary to "expectations" im ok with aquintances or {friends}-for-specific-purposes

"friends" is a lot of work- and can easily go down the drain without a warning
(& on top -SO- takes all the attention and be sort of undermining usually)
anyway, i have a more male/dark/selfdepreciation humor appreciation and low female-interests level, that limits (the) friendship purpose further


further "beyond small talk" , what's that? an example is ......??
i found -beyond small talk is more small talk?
or shallow promesses for virtuesignalling, but you thought they meant what they said, hahaha silly you, it was said to make them feel good about themselves, its not really going to happen, just a glance of possibility , but you were never the target of receving any gooddoings, bc of the non-status of that event :mrgreen:

more so, small talk is very scripted, interesting reactions :mrgreen: when you deviate from expectations, suddenly you get addressed in petit nègre=pidgin (language), :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :| eg at the doctor or veterinarian and then they loudly say very simple words to you :roll:
as if you can't distinguish two from four -kind of thing

:scratch: probably, i should apologise for the off the rails ramble?



JustFoundHere
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04 Jan 2022, 4:49 pm

The Autism Spectrum presents challenges - one such difficulty is "getting out of one's own way!"

From my own personal experiences, it's best to reassess our own strengths, in order to grasp our own weaknesses - weaknesses such as developing, and maintaining friendships!

For what little experiences I've had, becoming acquainted with terrific people who have an ample understanding of adults on the Spectrum who are largely independent feels like a wise path to take. Yet, settings with too much understanding of the Autism Spectrum can prove unfavorable - "yes, you've read this correctly!"

A couple of discussion threads in the 'Social Skills & Making Friends' Forum seem to invite those sentiments encouraging readers to better understand, and analyze the challenges of making, and maintaining friendships - to actually step away from our computers, smartphones, etc. by thoughtfully going out into our communities to "break the ice so to speak!"

Discussion Threads:

* Positive Social Interactions and Then Nothing.
* Adult Friend Making Advice.

One thread to note in the 'Social Skills & Making Friends' Forum:

* For New Year - New WP Membership, New Perspectives........ [etc. etc. etc.]

In short, the new year might encourage people to "get out of their own ways" and triumph over many of those confounding weaknesses - which might just include that sense tunnel vision!



Fnord
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04 Jan 2022, 5:11 pm

JustFoundHere wrote:
. . . the more I post, the more I feel I'm engaging in an increasingly tiring process of semantics - like "stretching the English language to it's limits", and receiving little to no feedback here on WP in the process!  I sense that 'tunnel vision' of sorts stemming from life's concerns of WP members might just be "short circuiting" one's efforts to participate here on WP. . .
Did you ever think that maybe the contents of your posts are simply not interesting to most WP members?



JustFoundHere
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04 Jan 2022, 6:04 pm

Fnord wrote:
JustFoundHere wrote:
. . . the more I post, the more I feel I'm engaging in an increasingly tiring process of semantics - like "stretching the English language to it's limits", and receiving little to no feedback here on WP in the process!  I sense that 'tunnel vision' of sorts stemming from life's concerns of WP members might just be "short circuiting" one's efforts to participate here on WP. . .
Did you ever think that maybe the contents of your posts are simply not interesting to most WP members?


I have been advised that there might be very little interest in the content of this discussion thread. I've been advised that my content is too novel, mundane, and at times to intellectualized in scope. It is what it is!

And yes, I've been reminded of adage 'to cast pearls before swine' - meaning if someone is reminded of casting pearls before swine, it's means that they are wasting their time by offering something that is helpful or valuable to someone who does not appreciate or understand it. It is what it is!

I've also been advised that helpful content advice, encouragement, etc. worth it's salt is often well...mundane in scope - (to no longer cast pearls before swine). It is what it is!

I've mentioned here on WP that adults who are on the Autism Spectrum (largely independent) are a terribly under represented constituency here on WP. Such sentiments can become a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts, which often perpetuates those viscous cycles of feedback loops; a dynamic often reflected here on WP.

To break these viscous cycles of feedback loops: To encourage an underrepresented constituency (albeit a seemingly small percentage of active WP membership) to step away from their computers, smartphones, etc. (via mundane WP content), to venture out into their communities to "break the ice so to speak" I felt I, and like-minded people have done our jobs!!

Got it??



EEngineer75
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04 Jan 2022, 8:52 pm

I was interested in your thread about social videos, but I'm afraid I didn't quite follow whether videos were supposed to be on that thread or another.

Regarding response, I get the feeling WP posters usually start with an example of something they want to discuss.


I'm not sure I follow your train of thought about "Tunnel Vision" and the WP format. Are you trying to envision a more complicated, multi-thread discussion?


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JustFoundHere
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05 Jan 2022, 2:12 pm

EEngineer75 wrote:
I was interested in your thread about social videos, but I'm afraid I didn't quite follow whether videos were supposed to be on that thread or another.

- Social videos can be placed in the 'Call For Video Clips To Encourage Social Skills!' discussion thread.

Regarding response, I get the feeling WP posters usually start with an example of something they want to discuss.

- This is reassessing one's strengths in order to better grapple with one's weakness - weaknesses such as developing and maintaining friendships!

I'm not sure I follow your train of thought about "Tunnel Vision" and the WP format. Are you trying to envision a more complicated, multi-thread discussion?


- Actually, I'm envisioning simplified discussion-threads in order to encourage interest, and follow-through - again, follow-through by going-out into one's communities "to break the ice so to speak" through activities encouraging mutual interest e.g., arts programs are an excellent example.

- On 'Tunnel vision' - The enclosed LINK in this discussion-thread might be helpful!

* In summary: If this discussion thread (and similar threads) actually encourage adults on the Autism Spectrum to actually follow-through on "breaking the ice," and making beneficial acquaintances, I felt I, and like-minded people have done our jobs!!



Fnord
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05 Jan 2022, 3:38 pm

So . . . let me get this straight . . . you log in to a social website that has been running just fine without you for about 15 years and claim that the members of that website need to "break the ice"?

Dude, that iceberg has broken off and drifted away a long, long time ago . . .


:roll:



kraftiekortie
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05 Jan 2022, 3:58 pm

Just post something political. You’ll get responses….some of which you might not like.

I’m an almost 80K post veteran. When I start a thread, I get very few responses.

I just react to others’ threads.



JustFoundHere
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05 Jan 2022, 10:32 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Just post something political. You’ll get responses….some of which you might not like.

I’m an almost 80K post veteran. When I start a thread, I get very few responses.

I just react to others’ threads.


Gimmicks are out of the question in order to generate interest!



JustFoundHere
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05 Jan 2022, 10:51 pm

Can we please keep the "doubts" to a minimum - order to encourage helpful content?

I sense a consensus that it is a "hard sell of sorts" to encourage largely independent adults on the Autism Spectrum to step away from their computers, smartphones, etc. to venture out into their communities (during a pandemic) in order to "break the ice so to speak" in becoming acquainted with people.

It's also helpful to follow-through by writing about experiences in the 'In-Depth Adult Life' and esp. the 'Social Skills & Making Friends' Forums - a discusses experiences in ways which might just encourage others to break the ice!

Again, this is a hard sell.....nobody said it was supposed to be easy!



Fnord
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06 Jan 2022, 9:15 am

Telling autistic people to "Go out and socialize" is like telling a clinically depressed person to "Cheer up".

Neither statement addresses the underlying causes of the conditions.



JustFoundHere
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06 Jan 2022, 4:29 pm

Let's shift discussions on encouraging friendships to the 'Social Skills & Making Friends' Forums:

* 'Call For Video Clips To Encourage Social Skills!'
* For New Year - New WP Membership, New Perspectives........ [etc. etc. etc.]
* Friendships W/People Receptive To Adults On Autism Spectrum.



Fnord
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06 Jan 2022, 5:01 pm

Sure . . . shift discussions elsewhere when others start getting uncomfortably close to the truth.

That always works.

:roll: Not.