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HeroOfHyrule
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17 May 2021, 3:01 pm

League_Girl wrote:
badRobot wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
People wonder why there is a stigma against cluster B disorders, it's because people with it keep abusing others so it's hard to see them as victims when they are victimizing others. You are not a victim when you mistreat others and bully. You are only a victim of what you went through but not a victim of how you treat others around you who have done nothing to you.

If people with cluster B want to end the stigma, they can end it by not abusing others and call other people out with Cluster B issues that use it as an excuse to be mean to their loved ones and to their own kids. They can even call these people out that were on the show in their youtube videos like I have seen LGBT people do with other LGBT people.

There are people out there that deal with trauma that do not abuse others.


Newborn human is a blank slate. If some person was abused their whole life, this is the model of behavior they think is normal. It's not like they consciously make a choice to be as*holes or something. Why isn't it obvious?

If 13yr old mistreats her parents - it's 100% their fault.


So we should tolerate abuse from someone if they were abused their whole lives growing up?

You can accept such person in your life, I won't. I will pass on that person. It is up for them to help themselves and therapists are trained to deal with it. I am not a therapist and don't have to put up with it.

No one has been saying that you have to tolerate being abused by kids. Mentioning the fact that kids with intense behaviour issues are often a product of abuse isn't justifying those kids' behaviour.

LeagueGirl wrote:
I guess it was my mom's fault then I was abusing her even though she never abused me. But once she told me she would send me away to a mental hospital if I ever hurt her again or my brother, I stopped. I couldn't play the victim here and say my mom would abandon me. I was 16 so I knew.

If you knew better in the first place then why did you do that? :scratch:


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I like playing video games, watching cartoons and anime, reading, and cooking.

I have two cats, a rabbit, and a dog. I also enjoy learning + cataloguing information about different types of animals and plants.

Empathy Quotient: 34/80
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Autism Quotient: 36/80

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Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 144 of 200.
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 63 of 200.
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie).


badRobot
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17 May 2021, 3:06 pm

League_Girl wrote:
I guess it was my mom's fault then I was abusing her even though she never abused me. But once she told me she would send me away to a mental hospital if I ever hurt her again or my brother, I stopped. I couldn't play the victim here and say my mom would abandon me. I was 16 so I knew.


Yes, it was her fault. Any trouble between a minor and their parents is parent's fault.

Quote:
So we should tolerate abuse form someone if they were abused their whole lives growing up?

You can accept such person in your life, I won't. I will pass on that person. It is up for them to help themselves and therapists are trained to deal with it. I am not a therapist and don't have to put up with it.


No, this is a completely unrelated matter. In this case, her mother failed in upbringing a person who doesn't mistreat others, including her. Then took this person to a TV-Show to fix her failure and put this person into abusive environment again. This girl doesn't play victim, she is a victim.



League_Girl
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17 May 2021, 4:46 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
badRobot wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
People wonder why there is a stigma against cluster B disorders, it's because people with it keep abusing others so it's hard to see them as victims when they are victimizing others. You are not a victim when you mistreat others and bully. You are only a victim of what you went through but not a victim of how you treat others around you who have done nothing to you.

If people with cluster B want to end the stigma, they can end it by not abusing others and call other people out with Cluster B issues that use it as an excuse to be mean to their loved ones and to their own kids. They can even call these people out that were on the show in their youtube videos like I have seen LGBT people do with other LGBT people.

There are people out there that deal with trauma that do not abuse others.


Newborn human is a blank slate. If some person was abused their whole life, this is the model of behavior they think is normal. It's not like they consciously make a choice to be as*holes or something. Why isn't it obvious?

If 13yr old mistreats her parents - it's 100% their fault.


So we should tolerate abuse from someone if they were abused their whole lives growing up?

You can accept such person in your life, I won't. I will pass on that person. It is up for them to help themselves and therapists are trained to deal with it. I am not a therapist and don't have to put up with it.

No one has been saying that you have to tolerate being abused by kids. Mentioning the fact that kids with intense behaviour issues are often a product of abuse isn't justifying those kids' behaviour.

LeagueGirl wrote:
I guess it was my mom's fault then I was abusing her even though she never abused me. But once she told me she would send me away to a mental hospital if I ever hurt her again or my brother, I stopped. I couldn't play the victim here and say my mom would abandon me. I was 16 so I knew.

If you knew better in the first place then why did you do that? :scratch:


Because this aspie boy I knew abused his mom and he always got his way and I figured if I do what he does, my own life would be easier too and no more stress and anxiety. But it backfired big time because I learned my mom would be willing to send me away to get help for my behavior if I kept on with it. She was someone who put her foot down and would not tolerate being threated or hit by her own daughter who was trying to mimic another aspie that had conduct issues and ODD. This boy abused everyone around him and he even abused special needs kids too when his anger should have been directed at the adults he was disagreeing with.

My own kid has tried something similar too and he ended up with losing electronics for the rest of the day so he wouldn't dare to try these stunts on me. He has ADHD and I wouldn't be surprised if he is on the spectrum too.


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badRobot
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18 May 2021, 4:11 am

League_Girl wrote:
Because this aspie boy I knew abused his mom and he always got his way and I figured if I do what he does, my own life would be easier too and no more stress and anxiety. But it backfired big time because I learned my mom would be willing to send me away to get help for my behavior if I kept on with it. She was someone who put her foot down and would not tolerate being threated or hit by her own daughter who was trying to mimic another aspie that had conduct issues and ODD. This boy abused everyone around him and he even abused special needs kids too when his anger should have been directed at the adults he was disagreeing with.

My own kid has tried something similar too and he ended up with losing electronics for the rest of the day so he wouldn't dare to try these stunts on me. He has ADHD and I wouldn't be surprised if he is on the spectrum too.


You do understand that a person who behaves only out of fear of punishment is not a genuinely good person?



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18 May 2021, 11:07 am

badRobot wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Because this aspie boy I knew abused his mom and he always got his way and I figured if I do what he does, my own life would be easier too and no more stress and anxiety. But it backfired big time because I learned my mom would be willing to send me away to get help for my behavior if I kept on with it. She was someone who put her foot down and would not tolerate being threated or hit by her own daughter who was trying to mimic another aspie that had conduct issues and ODD. This boy abused everyone around him and he even abused special needs kids too when his anger should have been directed at the adults he was disagreeing with.

My own kid has tried something similar too and he ended up with losing electronics for the rest of the day so he wouldn't dare to try these stunts on me. He has ADHD and I wouldn't be surprised if he is on the spectrum too.


You do understand that a person who behaves only out of fear of punishment is not a genuinely good person?



That sounds like all kids because their minds are still developing and they have not fully developed understanding between right from wrong. A 5 year old understands right from wrong what you get in trouble for, a 10 year old understands right from wrong with what is illegal and against the law, by age 25, you know right from wrong based on morals.

So by your logic if all these kids behaved out of fear of being punished and because they didn't want to be sent away for their behavior issues, they are not good people then.


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18 May 2021, 11:19 am

But you're right if your kid is 13 and they are hitting you and threatening you and using aggression to get their way, you failed as a parent because it starts when they are young. When a two year old hits you, they get a time out or you end play time with them and they learn if they hit, mommy won't play with them, at school they don't get to play with other kids when they hit. You don't just let a child be rude and disrespectful to you and ignore it and then expect them to outgrow it and then wonder why are they beating you and stuff when they are 15 and then expect them to stop when you decide to do something about it.

I would wonder what were these parents doing when their kid was acting up when they were young? I also noticed that some of these parents on the show were abused as well as kids so they associated any sort of punishment and discipline with abuse so they never set any guidelines for their child and limits and never disciplined them because they didn't want to be controlling and abusive. This was their trauma and now they were reliving it again with their child and end up on the Dr. Phil show. There was one mom on the show that had a 5 year old that was out of control and she had very bad behavior and was always screaming and the mom never discaplined her because she was also abused and her mom was very controlling and always punished her just to punish her so she never wanted to be that mom, as a result of it, she never actually parented her 5 year old and then was confused why she never listened and couldn't stop her behavior.

Dr. Phil used this analogy that her child was in a room with no walls so she is trying to find the end of the room, this was exactly what she was doing by acting out, her life is chaotic in her mind. There are no walls.

Sarah Burleton has written about her struggles as a parent as well and she wrote how it's very hard when she has to punish her boys and reminds herself she is not her mom, she is not abusing them. Her mom took it too far.


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carlos55
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18 May 2021, 12:10 pm

League_Girl wrote:
But you're right if your kid is 13 and they are hitting you and threatening you and using aggression to get their way, you failed as a parent because it starts when they are young. When a two year old hits you, they get a time out or you end play time with them and they learn if they hit, mommy won't play with them, at school they don't get to play with other kids when they hit. You don't just let a child be rude and disrespectful to you and ignore it and then expect them to outgrow it and then wonder why are they beating you and stuff when they are 15 and then expect them to stop when you decide to do something about it.

I would wonder what were these parents doing when their kid was acting up when they were young? I also noticed that some of these parents on the show were abused as well as kids so they associated any sort of punishment and discipline with abuse so they never set any guidelines for their child and limits and never disciplined them because they didn't want to be controlling and abusive. This was their trauma and now they were reliving it again with their child and end up on the Dr. Phil show. There was one mom on the show that had a 5 year old that was out of control and she had very bad behavior and was always screaming and the mom never discaplined her because she was also abused and her mom was very controlling and always punished her just to punish her so she never wanted to be that mom, as a result of it, she never actually parented her 5 year old and then was confused why she never listened and couldn't stop her behavior.

Dr. Phil used this analogy that her child was in a room with no walls so she is trying to find the end of the room, this was exactly what she was doing by acting out, her life is chaotic in her mind. There are no walls.

Sarah Burleton has written about her struggles as a parent as well and she wrote how it's very hard when she has to punish her boys and reminds herself she is not her mom, she is not abusing them. Her mom took it too far.


Your kind of assuming behind every bad person is a bad parent which is not always true.

There’s plenty of people in prison who had loving parents and upbringing free from abuse.

Many school bullies I knew had a normal home life as far as I remember were all being beaten at home? I don’t think so



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18 May 2021, 12:25 pm

League_Girl wrote:
But you're right if your kid is 13 and they are hitting you and threatening you and using aggression to get their way, you failed as a parent because it starts when they are young. When a two year old hits you, they get a time out or you end play time with them and they learn if they hit, mommy won't play with them, at school they don't get to play with other kids when they hit. You don't just let a child be rude and disrespectful to you and ignore it and then expect them to outgrow it and then wonder why are they beating you and stuff when they are 15 and then expect them to stop when you decide to do something about it.

I would wonder what were these parents doing when their kid was acting up when they were young? I also noticed that some of these parents on the show were abused as well as kids so they associated any sort of punishment and discipline with abuse so they never set any guidelines for their child and limits and never disciplined them because they didn't want to be controlling and abusive. This was their trauma and now they were reliving it again with their child and end up on the Dr. Phil show. There was one mom on the show that had a 5 year old that was out of control and she had very bad behavior and was always screaming and the mom never discaplined her because she was also abused and her mom was very controlling and always punished her just to punish her so she never wanted to be that mom, as a result of it, she never actually parented her 5 year old and then was confused why she never listened and couldn't stop her behavior.

Dr. Phil used this analogy that her child was in a room with no walls so she is trying to find the end of the room, this was exactly what she was doing by acting out, her life is chaotic in her mind. There are no walls.

Sarah Burleton has written about her struggles as a parent as well and she wrote how it's very hard when she has to punish her boys and reminds herself she is not her mom, she is not abusing them. Her mom took it too far.


Punishment doesn't teach kids how to be good, punishment teaches kids they will get in trouble if they don't obey the rules and later teaches that they will not get into trouble if they are not caught. These rules and boundaries are also important, but this is not what makes a good person in the end.

Children absorb their framework of moral growth from how adults act, not what these adults say or trying to impose by rules or punishment. By 13, a person who doesn't have boundaries can still be a good person, but would get in trouble over some violations of formal rules, being a "rebel", whatever if it doesn't hurt others. But if 13yr old think it's ok to hurt her mom, this is not about boundaries or punishments anymore, this is about lack of moral framework, meaning she probably didn't see and didn't receive respect, empathy and love from her parents.



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18 May 2021, 12:28 pm

Dr. Phil is a garbage show and I would not take anything he says seriously because he is in it for the case of entertainment. Besides, most of the issues he talks about should be discussed behind closed doors in confidence. Also, this man is notorious for stigmatizing individuals who live on the spectrum.



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18 May 2021, 12:53 pm

badRobot wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
But you're right if your kid is 13 and they are hitting you and threatening you and using aggression to get their way, you failed as a parent because it starts when they are young. When a two year old hits you, they get a time out or you end play time with them and they learn if they hit, mommy won't play with them, at school they don't get to play with other kids when they hit. You don't just let a child be rude and disrespectful to you and ignore it and then expect them to outgrow it and then wonder why are they beating you and stuff when they are 15 and then expect them to stop when you decide to do something about it.

I would wonder what were these parents doing when their kid was acting up when they were young? I also noticed that some of these parents on the show were abused as well as kids so they associated any sort of punishment and discipline with abuse so they never set any guidelines for their child and limits and never disciplined them because they didn't want to be controlling and abusive. This was their trauma and now they were reliving it again with their child and end up on the Dr. Phil show. There was one mom on the show that had a 5 year old that was out of control and she had very bad behavior and was always screaming and the mom never discaplined her because she was also abused and her mom was very controlling and always punished her just to punish her so she never wanted to be that mom, as a result of it, she never actually parented her 5 year old and then was confused why she never listened and couldn't stop her behavior.

Dr. Phil used this analogy that her child was in a room with no walls so she is trying to find the end of the room, this was exactly what she was doing by acting out, her life is chaotic in her mind. There are no walls.

Sarah Burleton has written about her struggles as a parent as well and she wrote how it's very hard when she has to punish her boys and reminds herself she is not her mom, she is not abusing them. Her mom took it too far.


Punishment doesn't teach kids how to be good, punishment teaches kids they will get in trouble if they don't obey the rules and later teaches that they will not get into trouble if they are not caught. These rules and boundaries are also important, but this is not what makes a good person in the end.

Children absorb their framework of moral growth from how adults act, not what these adults say or trying to impose by rules or punishment. By 13, a person who doesn't have boundaries can still be a good person, but would get in trouble over some violations of formal rules, being a "rebel", whatever if it doesn't hurt others. But if 13yr old think it's ok to hurt her mom, this is not about boundaries or punishments anymore, this is about lack of moral framework, meaning she probably didn't see and didn't receive respect, empathy and love from her parents.


But I still managed to know right from wrong and I don't follow rules and laws because I want to avoid consequences, I do it because I know it's right and I understand why the rule is there. That started to sink in when I was around 16 years of age and then I started to hate everyone who lets their kids get away with bad things and I realized I had a good mom and all the other moms I saw around me were bad moms so they let their kids be mean. I even started to hate Frankie, that aspie boy because he got away with hurting his mom and I didn't and I do think some of it was learned behavior because he acted better around his father. He set limits was why so he wouldn't dare to try and hurt him.

I still can't stand moms who let their kids interrupt them when they are talking, ugh. Being a kid is no excuse to let them be rude and then use the "they don't have the cognitive ability to understand" excuse. Kids respond well to punishments and when they are older, they then get it and understand. I can speak from experience because I was that kid and I did not grow up to be some criminal or a horrible person because I still learned right from wrong and I don't do things because I think I will get away with it. It's called having morals.

In order to get me to not do a behavior again, I had to be in trouble for it or I would have done it again and again thinking it's okay behavior. That was how my brain worked when I was a kid. I couldn't take a rule seriously if it was not enforced and kids never followed it and there was never a consequence. I liked rules growing up because it made things more relaxed.

I remember being 17 and my mom tried to explain to me just because there is no law or rule against something doesn't mean you should do it. But in my brain this was too abstract and I didn't start to understand it till my late twenties because my brain was fully developed I had morals so I get what she is saying now. There is such thing as saying being legally right but it doesn't mean it's a right thing to do. It's called empathy. But in my teenage mind then if there was no rule or law against it, then it was okay to do it. I think that is more due to my brain development then than not being good person and I wouldn't think it's fair to say a 16 year old isn't a good person if they are following rules and laws to avoid any consequences. To me that just sounds like normal kid stuff. Plenty of kids follow rules to avoid consequences so that is why they wait till adults turn their backs or when they are not around to break those rules. It's called testing their limits. I have seen it all growing up and I found it very confusing because it made it more difficult for me to know what is right and wrong way to act and what are the rules. I couldn't see the visible line other kids could see because I saw rules in black and white. Me getting in trouble for it didn't work because all I saw was I was being bullied by the adults and being singled out and rules didn't apply to anyone else but me so I felt bullied and acted out in school. I tell my mom one simple thing they could have done that would have made me be good for them was enforce rules on all the students and problem solved, you don't enforce a rule on one child and let all the NT students get away with it. That will just make the kid think they are being singled out and bullied and then you will wonder why they are acting out. Then they wanted to put me in a behavior class and my parents had to get a lawyer and she gave them advice and told them what their rights were as parents and what my rights were as the student and my therapist came to my school and told them why putting me in such a class would be a bad idea and said this was no a me issue but a issue with their system. Putting me in a behavior class would have taught me to have more bad behavior and I would have thought this is normal behavior, this is how we act in this class and mimic them thinking it's the right behavior. That was simply how my brain worked.


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18 May 2021, 1:05 pm

And the funny thing is the school staff acted like I was this manipulative student and had my parents and my therapist fooled when I was just a confused frustrated 12 year old girl trying to figure out the rules and wanted to be "normal" and be like all the other kids and I wanted to please them too and be a good student as well but I just didn't like the fact I was being bullied by the staff and even my mom called it abuse and my therapist was furious with them as well. They even acted like my parents were bullies. This was before the child left behind act came out and before schools started to get fundings for each special ed student so back then they were trying to cut corners and do things their way than listen to the parents and students to help them. My parents even had a lawsuit too but decided to not sue the district and to just give them a month to figure it out.

What I went through as a kid could have been traumatizing for a student. I was just lucky I had parents that advocated for me and listened to me and had me video taped in class to see what was going on.


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18 May 2021, 1:10 pm

League_Girl wrote:
badRobot wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
But you're right if your kid is 13 and they are hitting you and threatening you and using aggression to get their way, you failed as a parent because it starts when they are young. When a two year old hits you, they get a time out or you end play time with them and they learn if they hit, mommy won't play with them, at school they don't get to play with other kids when they hit. You don't just let a child be rude and disrespectful to you and ignore it and then expect them to outgrow it and then wonder why are they beating you and stuff when they are 15 and then expect them to stop when you decide to do something about it.

I would wonder what were these parents doing when their kid was acting up when they were young? I also noticed that some of these parents on the show were abused as well as kids so they associated any sort of punishment and discipline with abuse so they never set any guidelines for their child and limits and never disciplined them because they didn't want to be controlling and abusive. This was their trauma and now they were reliving it again with their child and end up on the Dr. Phil show. There was one mom on the show that had a 5 year old that was out of control and she had very bad behavior and was always screaming and the mom never discaplined her because she was also abused and her mom was very controlling and always punished her just to punish her so she never wanted to be that mom, as a result of it, she never actually parented her 5 year old and then was confused why she never listened and couldn't stop her behavior.

Dr. Phil used this analogy that her child was in a room with no walls so she is trying to find the end of the room, this was exactly what she was doing by acting out, her life is chaotic in her mind. There are no walls.

Sarah Burleton has written about her struggles as a parent as well and she wrote how it's very hard when she has to punish her boys and reminds herself she is not her mom, she is not abusing them. Her mom took it too far.


Punishment doesn't teach kids how to be good, punishment teaches kids they will get in trouble if they don't obey the rules and later teaches that they will not get into trouble if they are not caught. These rules and boundaries are also important, but this is not what makes a good person in the end.

Children absorb their framework of moral growth from how adults act, not what these adults say or trying to impose by rules or punishment. By 13, a person who doesn't have boundaries can still be a good person, but would get in trouble over some violations of formal rules, being a "rebel", whatever if it doesn't hurt others. But if 13yr old think it's ok to hurt her mom, this is not about boundaries or punishments anymore, this is about lack of moral framework, meaning she probably didn't see and didn't receive respect, empathy and love from her parents.


But I still managed to know right from wrong and I don't follow rules and laws because I want to avoid consequences, I do it because I know it's right and I understand why the rule is there. That started to sink in when I was around 16 years of age and then I started to hate everyone who lets their kids get away with bad things and I realized I had a good mom and all the other moms I saw around me were bad moms so they let their kids be mean. I even started to hate Frankie, that aspie boy because he got away with hurting his mom and I didn't and I do think some of it was learned behavior because he acted better around his father. He set limits was why so he wouldn't dare to try and hurt him.

I still can't stand moms who let their kids interrupt them when they are talking, ugh. Being a kid is no excuse to let them be rude and then use the "they don't have the cognitive ability to understand" excuse. Kids respond well to punishments and when they are older, they then get it and understand. I can speak from experience because I was that kid and I did not grow up to be some criminal or a horrible person because I still learned right from wrong and I don't do things because I think I will get away with it. It's called having morals.

In order to get me to not do a behavior again, I had to be in trouble for it or I would have done it again and again thinking it's okay behavior. That was how my brain worked when I was a kid. I couldn't take a rule seriously if it was not enforced and kids never followed it and there was never a consequence. I liked rules growing up because it made things more relaxed.

I remember being 17 and my mom tried to explain to me just because there is no law or rule against something doesn't mean you should do it. But in my brain this was too abstract and I didn't start to understand it till my late twenties because my brain was fully developed I had morals so I get what she is saying now. There is such thing as saying being legally right but it doesn't mean it's a right thing to do. It's called empathy. But in my teenage mind then if there was no rule or law against it, then it was okay to do it. I think that is more due to my brain development then than not being good person and I wouldn't think it's fair to say a 16 year old isn't a good person if they are following rules and laws to avoid any consequences. To me that just sounds like normal kid stuff. Plenty of kids follow rules to avoid consequences so that is why they wait till adults turn their backs or when they are not around to break those rules. It's called testing their limits. I have seen it all growing up and I found it very confusing because it made it more difficult for me to know what is right and wrong way to act and what are the rules. I couldn't see the visible line other kids could see because I saw rules in black and white. Me getting in trouble for it didn't work because all I saw was I was being bullied by the adults and being singled out and rules didn't apply to anyone else but me so I felt bullied and acted out in school. I tell my mom one simple thing they could have done that would have made me be good for them was enforce rules on all the students and problem solved, you don't enforce a rule on one child and let all the NT students get away with it. That will just make the kid think they are being singled out and bullied and then you will wonder why they are acting out. Then they wanted to put me in a behavior class and my parents had to get a lawyer and she gave them advice and told them what their rights were as parents and what my rights were as the student and my therapist came to my school and told them why putting me in such a class would be a bad idea and said this was no a me issue but a issue with their system. Putting me in a behavior class would have taught me to have more bad behavior and I would have thought this is normal behavior, this is how we act in this class and mimic them thinking it's the right behavior. That was simply how my brain worked.


What you describe is a trait of many people on the spectrum. We are not as good in unconsciously absorbing information from others. So I guess it was normal for you and the other guy to act like this at that age. We need more time to internalize informal concepts.



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18 May 2021, 1:12 pm

League_Girl wrote:
And the funny thing is the school staff acted like I was this manipulative student and had my parents and my therapist fooled when I was just a confused frustrated 12 year old girl trying to figure out the rules and wanted to be "normal" and be like all the other kids and I wanted to please them too and be a good student as well but I just didn't like the fact I was being bullied by the staff and even my mom called it abuse and my therapist was furious with them as well. They even acted like my parents were bullies. This was before the child left behind act came out and before schools started to get fundings for each special ed student so back then they were trying to cut corners and do things their way than listen to the parents and students to help them. My parents even had a lawsuit too but decided to not sue the district and to just give them a month to figure it out.

What I went through as a kid could have been traumatizing for a student. I was just lucky I had parents that advocated for me and listened to me and had me video taped in class to see what was going on.


The worst nightmare for people on the spectrum is that following some formal school rules is a big no-no that can lead to total rejection by peers.



League_Girl
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18 May 2021, 1:19 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Dr. Phil is a garbage show and I would not take anything he says seriously because he is in it for the case of entertainment. Besides, most of the issues he talks about should be discussed behind closed doors in confidence. Also, this man is notorious for stigmatizing individuals who live on the spectrum.



I honestly thinks he exploits people who are too poor to get any help. These are people who don't know where they turn to for help and don't have the money so they go on Dr. Phil to get it for "free" and the only way to do that is to air their dirty laundry. Sometimes he does censor out kids faces and uses fake names for them but they still show the parents and I wonder how is that protecting the child? The kid's identity will still be known by those who know the family.

One time he allowed a former actress with a mental illness who played the mom in The Shining (1980) and she is a schizophrenic now. Dr. Phil had a lot of flak for it and said he exploited her and made her be a circus show. I felt if he had told her "no you can't be on the show" he would have gotten accused of ableism for not allowing to tell her story on his show. I didn't see it as her exploiting her but rather allowing her to tell her story but others felt that is what he did. So I think either choice here, he would have gotten flak. Sometimes people just go on the show to tell their story than get help. This actress here wanted to share her story and all I felt was sadness for her. People watching that episode felt she wasn't in her right mind to make that choice to be on his show so he should have not let her on it.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


carlos55
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18 May 2021, 2:19 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
Dr. Phil is a garbage show and I would not take anything he says seriously because he is in it for the case of entertainment. Besides, most of the issues he talks about should be discussed behind closed doors in confidence. Also, this man is notorious for stigmatizing individuals who live on the spectrum.



I honestly thinks he exploits people who are too poor to get any help. These are people who don't know where they turn to for help and don't have the money so they go on Dr. Phil to get it for "free" and the only way to do that is to air their dirty laundry. Sometimes he does censor out kids faces and uses fake names for them but they still show the parents and I wonder how is that protecting the child? The kid's identity will still be known by those who know the family.

One time he allowed a former actress with a mental illness who played the mom in The Shining (1980) and she is a schizophrenic now. Dr. Phil had a lot of flak for it and said he exploited her and made her be a circus show. I felt if he had told her "no you can't be on the show" he would have gotten accused of ableism for not allowing to tell her story on his show. I didn't see it as her exploiting her but rather allowing her to tell her story but others felt that is what he did. So I think either choice here, he would have gotten flak. Sometimes people just go on the show to tell their story than get help. This actress here wanted to share her story and all I felt was sadness for her. People watching that episode felt she wasn't in her right mind to make that choice to be on his show so he should have not let her on it.


Sounds just like the Jeremy Kyle show in the UK that was taken off air after someone committed suicide shortly after

Sorry to sound cynical but there`s other aspects overlooked too, some of these people just want to get on TV, its their 5min of fame in their empty lives and don’t care about airing their dirty laundry.

If you watch the 90`s movie Natural Born Killers it kind of touches upon this societal sickness with tv.

Not discounting all real victims of abuse of course, but there is a huge litigation culture in the west & that can be multiplied by 10 in the US.

The general tactic among false accusers is make a lot of noise & the wealthy accused will pay a big cheque to shut them up even if innocent as its practically impossible to prove something didn’t happen & its just easier to pay out.

It happens in the big firms like in banking some executive will make up a frivolous sexual harassment claim & end up with a six-figure sum paid out of court as the company would rather pay to protect its reputation even if innocent, the false accuser then retiring on a beach somewhere never having to need to work again, nice.

Compare this to women who are forced to work in the sex industry that get raped & beaten up all the time and get no compensation

Of course, you have real victims of abuse that feel great shame and embarrassment going reluctantly to the police or tribunal & most shun the media spotlight.

So its not all black & white.



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18 May 2021, 4:17 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Carlos55 do some research before commenting. You're dismissing actual severe abuse as just kids not behaving.

Seriously mate. No.


This