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Crystal1414
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28 Jul 2021, 9:05 pm

My parents force me to wear diapers because they do not want me to use the bathroom unsupervised. They also make me sleep in pyjamas that I can't undo. I hate it. I want to be treated like a normal person.

They put a lock on my door because I wake up and I try to leave the house. I like looking at the moon though. I have a special connection to it. Sometimes they lock me in my room if I am being aggressive. They do not do this to my siblings. Im honestly jealous of my siblings.



funeralxempire
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28 Jul 2021, 9:17 pm

Crystal1414 wrote:
My parents force me to wear diapers because they do not want me to use the bathroom unsupervised. They also make me sleep in pyjamas that I can't undo.


Do you have continence issues? They owe you an explanation for why they do this stuff.


Crystal1414 wrote:
They put a lock on my door because I wake up and I try to leave the house. I like looking at the moon though. I have a special connection to it. Sometimes they lock me in my room if I am being aggressive.


Considering recent events it makes sense why they might be more concerned than before. Do your siblings get aggressive but get a different response from your parents?

Crystal1414 wrote:
I hate it. I want to be treated like a normal person.
...
They do not do this to my siblings. Im honestly jealous of my siblings.


That's perfectly understandable. No one likes to bear unfair struggles no one else understands.


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the problem with capitalism is that eventually you run out of other people's resources and cheap labour to exploit
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


Crystal1414
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28 Jul 2021, 10:54 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Crystal1414 wrote:
My parents force me to wear diapers because they do not want me to use the bathroom unsupervised. They also make me sleep in pyjamas that I can't undo.


Do you have continence issues? They owe you an explanation for why they do this stuff.


Crystal1414 wrote:
They put a lock on my door because I wake up and I try to leave the house. I like looking at the moon though. I have a special connection to it. Sometimes they lock me in my room if I am being aggressive.


Considering recent events it makes sense why they might be more concerned than before. Do your siblings get aggressive but get a different response from your parents?

Crystal1414 wrote:
I hate it. I want to be treated like a normal person.
...
They do not do this to my siblings. Im honestly jealous of my siblings.


That's perfectly understandable. No one likes to bear unfair struggles no one else understands.


I do have continence issues unfortunately.

Yeah. No, my siblings do not really get aggressive to be honest. Im the only one and I have been told that it ruins stuff. Some nights I have screaming fits. That keeps my family up. Some days I just need to lie down and calm down. I hit myself sometimes. Other days I get irritated by everything and I can't manage it. I grate my teeth and I try to start fights. My siblings only ever swear at my parents or refuse to do the dishes.

Yeah. I feel like Im not a part of the family sometimes. They treat me so differently. Sometimes Im not even invited to go out because I sometimes can't manage to be in public.



funeralxempire
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28 Jul 2021, 11:18 pm

Crystal1414 wrote:
I do have continence issues unfortunately.

Yeah. No, my siblings do not really get aggressive to be honest. Im the only one and I have been told that it ruins stuff. Some nights I have screaming fits. That keeps my family up. Some days I just need to lie down and calm down. I hit myself sometimes. Other days I get irritated by everything and I can't manage it. I grate my teeth and I try to start fights. My siblings only ever swear at my parents or refuse to do the dishes.

Yeah. I feel like Im not a part of the family sometimes. They treat me so differently. Sometimes Im not even invited to go out because I sometimes can't manage to be in public.


It sounds like the restrictions are in response to difficulties with self-regulating.

Having to wear something that reminds you a problem you deal with can't possibly sit well but I'd imagine the consequences of not wearing it probably aren't great either.

As for the other part it's really unfortunate. I don't assume you're behaving maliciously when it occurs but you also have to consider that they're entitled to not be subjected to violence, no matter the motive or explanation.

This is probably why they try to force you to take medication as well, in hopes of reducing the agitation you deal with so you're less likely to have those moments and less likely to hurt yourself as well.

I wish they put more effort into including you because you're smart and insightful and deserve to feel cared for and included.


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the problem with capitalism is that eventually you run out of other people's resources and cheap labour to exploit
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


Crystal1414
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29 Jul 2021, 8:11 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Crystal1414 wrote:
I do have continence issues unfortunately.

Yeah. No, my siblings do not really get aggressive to be honest. Im the only one and I have been told that it ruins stuff. Some nights I have screaming fits. That keeps my family up. Some days I just need to lie down and calm down. I hit myself sometimes. Other days I get irritated by everything and I can't manage it. I grate my teeth and I try to start fights. My siblings only ever swear at my parents or refuse to do the dishes.

Yeah. I feel like Im not a part of the family sometimes. They treat me so differently. Sometimes Im not even invited to go out because I sometimes can't manage to be in public.


It sounds like the restrictions are in response to difficulties with self-regulating.

Having to wear something that reminds you a problem you deal with can't possibly sit well but I'd imagine the consequences of not wearing it probably aren't great either.

As for the other part it's really unfortunate. I don't assume you're behaving maliciously when it occurs but you also have to consider that they're entitled to not be subjected to violence, no matter the motive or explanation.

This is probably why they try to force you to take medication as well, in hopes of reducing the agitation you deal with so you're less likely to have those moments and less likely to hurt yourself as well.

I wish they put more effort into including you because you're smart and insightful and deserve to feel cared for and included.


Yeah. I do not think I am good at self regulating. I do not know how to get better at it though. My parents have told me I need to work on it.

Yeah, it doesn't sit well. I feel like people can tell.

Im not sure why I have screaming fits. It started when I was 16. I feel like I cause a lot of stress because of it. It can last for up to 2 hours. I did realize though that I feel better when I rock myself to sleep. Yeah, I understand but its hard to think about in the moment. I start to feel more stressed when they lock my door because I feel like Im a problem. Recently they have been locking it because I leave my room and pace or try to leave the house.

I just can't bring myself to take my medication right now. My mood is fluctuating a lot and people think Im acting weird but the medication feels wrong. It causes me to be really calm but it takes away certain feelings that I enjoy. I sort of want to take it because I know it will make me feel calm and I will probably get more independence. However I feel really good lately.

Yeah, I wish they would include me more. However I do things that aren't always appropriate. Sometimes I laugh when Im not supposed to. I also like to take my shoes off at restaurants. I went to both my siblings elementary school graduations and I couldn't sit still. My brother went to a catholic school and they had mass as part of the grad. I couldn't sit still so I started rocking and fidgeting. At my sisters grad I did the same. I still rock and fidget in public and people always stare. I guess my parents sometimes want a break from that. I also spin in circles because it feels amazing. Thank you for saying those things. It helps me to feel better.



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29 Jul 2021, 1:54 pm

Are you having meltdowns when you are having "screaming fits"? I usually stim and try to go to sleep/lay down when I feel like I'm going to have a meltdown, if I'm at home. When I have meltdowns if they're really bad I scream/cry and they can last awhile.

I also get that you stimming in public can be distracting to others, but I do hope that your parents understand that stimming is often necessary for autistic people. Have you tried to figure out some alternative stims for ones that might be more distracting in public? I started swaying from side-to-side (relatively gently though) instead of rocking because I noticed people don't stare as much. It does feel different though so I dunno if switching to that would help, especially if you rock a lot.

Also, do you spin when you get excited or just because you like it? I bounce a lot when I get excited and sometimes just because I like it, so I try to set aside time at home to do that so I don't feel the need to do it as much in public.


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I use he/him pronouns.

I like playing video games, watching cartoons and anime, reading, and cooking.

I have two cats, a rabbit, and a dog. I also enjoy learning + cataloguing information about different types of animals and plants.

Empathy Quotient: 34/80
Systemizing Quotient: 104/150
Friendship Quotient: 56/140
Autism Quotient: 36/80

RAADS-R: 169

CAT-Q: 153
Compensation: 57
Masking: 47
Assimilation: 49

Your broader autism cluster (Aspie) score: 144 of 200.
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 63 of 200.
You are very likely on the broader autism cluster (Aspie).


Crystal1414
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29 Jul 2021, 2:32 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
Are you having meltdowns when you are having "screaming fits"? I usually stim and try to go to sleep/lay down when I feel like I'm going to have a meltdown, if I'm at home. When I have meltdowns if they're really bad I scream/cry and they can last awhile.

I also get that you stimming in public can be distracting to others, but I do hope that your parents understand that stimming is often necessary for autistic people. Have you tried to figure out some alternative stims for ones that might be more distracting in public? I started swaying from side-to-side (relatively gently though) instead of rocking because I noticed people don't stare as much. It does feel different though so I dunno if switching to that would help, especially if you rock a lot.

Also, do you spin when you get excited or just because you like it? I bounce a lot when I get excited and sometimes just because I like it, so I try to set aside time at home to do that so I don't feel the need to do it as much in public.


No, I have meltdowns though. For me meltdowns happen everyday and I tend to stim a lot as well as lie down. The Screaming fits are caused by being too hyper to sleep and my mind starts to race. Then I lose control. My psychiatrist offered to give me sleeping pills but I refused. They are really similar to meltdowns.

Yeah. I understand that some of my stims are distracting. I try not to do any vocal stims because that leads to people being annoyed. My parents understand that I need to do it. I do sway side to side sometimes. Rocking really helps with feeling grounded though. My mind races sometimes and rocking distracts me.

I spin because I like doing it and when I'm excited. I do it a lot at home but sometimes I get the urge to do it in public. Sometimes I do it because I feel really good and I feel like it improves my spiritual experiences.



funeralxempire
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29 Jul 2021, 2:52 pm

Crystal1414 wrote:
Yeah. I do not think I am good at self regulating. I do not know how to get better at it though. My parents have told me I need to work on it.

Yeah, it doesn't sit well. I feel like people can tell.

Im not sure why I have screaming fits. It started when I was 16. I feel like I cause a lot of stress because of it. It can last for up to 2 hours. I did realize though that I feel better when I rock myself to sleep. Yeah, I understand but its hard to think about in the moment. I start to feel more stressed when they lock my door because I feel like Im a problem. Recently they have been locking it because I leave my room and pace or try to leave the house.

I just can't bring myself to take my medication right now. My mood is fluctuating a lot and people think Im acting weird but the medication feels wrong. It causes me to be really calm but it takes away certain feelings that I enjoy. I sort of want to take it because I know it will make me feel calm and I will probably get more independence. However I feel really good lately.

Yeah, I wish they would include me more. However I do things that aren't always appropriate. Sometimes I laugh when Im not supposed to. I also like to take my shoes off at restaurants. I went to both my siblings elementary school graduations and I couldn't sit still. My brother went to a catholic school and they had mass as part of the grad. I couldn't sit still so I started rocking and fidgeting. At my sisters grad I did the same. I still rock and fidget in public and people always stare. I guess my parents sometimes want a break from that. I also spin in circles because it feels amazing. Thank you for saying those things. It helps me to feel better.


I can relate to the first part, I can identify patterns of behaviour that hurt me, I don't always have much insight on how to manage them though.

I wish you could at least find ones that are more discreet although some of the concern is probably just because you're aware of it and worried about judgment.

Does anything make the screaming fits more or less likely?

I assume you see doctors about your medication? You should discuss the side effects with them in case there's others that might work better or cause fewer problems.

Of course, improving your functioning level and gaining more independence might involve having to not experience some of those feelings because they interfere with living independently. Euphoria and a sense of purpose are great, but not if it comes at the cost of finding it harder to do stuff you've able to do before.

I wish you had more people like your cousin who you could spend time with without having to worry about them getting stressed just because you're fidgeting or being a bit odd.


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the problem with capitalism is that eventually you run out of other people's resources and cheap labour to exploit
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


Crystal1414
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Joined: 25 Aug 2020
Posts: 187
Location: Canada

29 Jul 2021, 3:29 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Crystal1414 wrote:
Yeah. I do not think I am good at self regulating. I do not know how to get better at it though. My parents have told me I need to work on it.

Yeah, it doesn't sit well. I feel like people can tell.

Im not sure why I have screaming fits. It started when I was 16. I feel like I cause a lot of stress because of it. It can last for up to 2 hours. I did realize though that I feel better when I rock myself to sleep. Yeah, I understand but its hard to think about in the moment. I start to feel more stressed when they lock my door because I feel like Im a problem. Recently they have been locking it because I leave my room and pace or try to leave the house.

I just can't bring myself to take my medication right now. My mood is fluctuating a lot and people think Im acting weird but the medication feels wrong. It causes me to be really calm but it takes away certain feelings that I enjoy. I sort of want to take it because I know it will make me feel calm and I will probably get more independence. However I feel really good lately.

Yeah, I wish they would include me more. However I do things that aren't always appropriate. Sometimes I laugh when Im not supposed to. I also like to take my shoes off at restaurants. I went to both my siblings elementary school graduations and I couldn't sit still. My brother went to a catholic school and they had mass as part of the grad. I couldn't sit still so I started rocking and fidgeting. At my sisters grad I did the same. I still rock and fidget in public and people always stare. I guess my parents sometimes want a break from that. I also spin in circles because it feels amazing. Thank you for saying those things. It helps me to feel better.


I can relate to the first part, I can identify patterns of behaviour that hurt me, I don't always have much insight on how to manage them though.

I wish you could at least find ones that are more discreet although some of the concern is probably just because you're aware of it and worried about judgment.

Does anything make the screaming fits more or less likely?

I assume you see doctors about your medication? You should discuss the side effects with them in case there's others that might work better or cause fewer problems.

Of course, improving your functioning level and gaining more independence might involve having to not experience some of those feelings because they interfere with living independently. Euphoria and a sense of purpose are great, but not if it comes at the cost of finding it harder to do stuff you've able to do before.

I wish you had more people like your cousin who you could spend time with without having to worry about them getting stressed just because you're fidgeting or being a bit odd.


Yeah. I need to work on managing my behaviours. Its hard though.

Yeah. Im mostly worried about judgement. People have not been very understanding in the past. Also I hate using them in public because its just uncomfortable.

The screaming fits usually happen when Im too hyper to go to bed and my thoughts are racing and I am scared.

I want to live independently but its hard to give up good feelings.

Yeah. My cousin doesn't care about that and I love that about her