Does anyone here identify as nonbinary?

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CockneyRebel
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30 Sep 2022, 11:31 pm

I also identify as nonbinary. I use male pronouns. I always have. I've never seen the big deal about gender roles and expectations. I've kept it a secret from my parents along with another secret for many years.


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Joe90
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02 Oct 2022, 3:00 pm

I like gender roles as some do serve some sort of purpose in society but extreme gender roles isn't something I agree with. For example, dressing a baby girl in pink dresses is OK as people will know she's a baby girl and as long as the baby is warm and comfortable. But getting a baby girl's ears pierced is NOT OK in my book. A baby won't understand that "beauty is pain" and that I don't think baby girls should go through pain just to fit the gender stereotypes. Injections are different, they are painful for a baby but they're required, to save lives. Getting a baby's ears pierced will not save her life and so I think it's unfair for a baby girl to have to go through that just because she's a girl and has to look stunningly beautiful.

So for me it depends on the extreme way a gender role is taken. It's just my view.


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Machi
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07 Oct 2022, 10:06 am

I've never cared much about gender issues. I was born a female, and still am. As a child, I liked to wear dresses because they were more comfortable than more tightly fitting pants. But I was more into "boy-stuff", which could be because I was raised by a single father. No idea.
I have a hard time connecting to human females, much harder than connecting to male humans. I simply don't understand most of them.
So perhaps I'm female on the outside (I still like wearing dresses and skirts) and male in the mind.
I don't feel I'm a male, but I'm not comfortable being a female, either.
But I don't consider me binary.
So what am I?

What I'm certain of is that all the pronoun and anti-gender-role discussion and categories confuse me a lot.



AnomalousAspergian
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12 Oct 2022, 12:10 pm

I quite like the idea of being non-binary if it precludes gender roles but also deeply engrained, never truly scientifically proved attitudes towards gender in regards to things sex, work and personality. All such attitudes do is to serve self-inflicted social motives for justifying reactionary things in a given context and is often falsely recognised as 'common-sense'. For instance 'men are more sexual than women." Even if it is true does that mean we jump to conclusions in assuming that more men are sexual predators than women due to their biology? Or should we attempt to explain what complex assortment of cultural factors may bring about this sort of anti-social behaviour?

I suspect reactionary, dogmatic sorts of attitudes towards gender and branded as common-sense will never completely go away but I think the recognition of non-binary may help dismantle such traditionalist, self-inflicted attitudes that men and women may have of each other and themselves.



asyzygy
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17 Oct 2022, 6:16 am

I consider myself to be some form of nonbinary. Particularly agender, I think. Idk, gender is hard to figure out!

I go by he/him! I just like how it feels to my senses. I have synesthesia so a lot of my understanding of my gender is related to how it smells/tastes/feels to the touch haha. I just go with what feels the most comfortable.



Lost_dragon
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21 Oct 2022, 5:37 pm

Sometimes I wish it were possible for men to view me as male, and women to view me as a woman. In the way that straight men view other straight men VS the way lesbians and bisexual women view other women. A part of me wants to be feminine in the way men are; androgynous and as a means of self-expression rather than just as an expected presentation. It'd be nice to be seen as a soft indie boy that everyone fawns over.

However, other days I feel really in touch with being a woman. I'll feel a sense of joy when someone refers to me as a lady and I like to wear long dresses and walk around dramatically. Then there are days where it'll be more of a "eh, yeah I mean I guess that's correct but it feels weird when you call me that" but I don't vocalise such thoughts.

I don't really know why I feel this way. However, I'm pretty used to it. I wouldn't like to be called he or him though. Frankly I'm pretty fortunate to be small chested and have a fairly androgynous build. I have a fair amount of freedom with how I can present. Sometimes I see conversations in Love & Dating or the Women's discussion area that try to define femininity and womanhood...whenever I read such conversations I feel like such an outsider. Intrigued, yet out of the loop.

Personally, I think this is to do with how femininity is often defined as a complimentary opposite to masculinity in a heteronormative structure. This is not to criticise or condemn society, but merely an observation. As such, I used to consider myself tomboyish as a kid and have a 'I'm not like the other girls' approach. That's why I like cottagecore, it presents femininity as a means of self-expression outside of appealing to men. To be feminine purely for the sake of being feminine. That's not to say that women who like men are only feminine to appeal to men. It's...complicated and tricky to explain. I guess it's a bit like everyone expects you to have memorised a rulebook but you never got one and they come up to you like 'Chapter twenty eight, am I right?" and you just agree whilst confused.


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