Is there really any hope for me or should I give up?

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Muse933277
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22 Apr 2021, 11:28 pm

I will say this, it's never a good idea to join a social club that goes against your values, just for the purpose of meeting women or getting laid.

A few years ago, I got involved in a college church group despite not being religious and I did this for several years. To be completely honest, the reason why I joined a college ministry group was not because I wanted to learn more about God, I just wanted to meet women and this church was full of cute college-aged girls, so I saw it as an opportunity to find a girlfriend.

The reason it's a bad idea is because for one thing, even if you start dating a girl from the church, she's going to eventually find out that you're actually not religious and don't share the same values as her. What happens when she finds out you don't even care about God and you were just there to get your dick wet? She will feel like you were being dishonest and deceitful.

Secondly, you start to suffer from something called imposter syndrome. You start to feel like you actually don't belong there and that you're being fake and deceitful which in a way, you kind of are. If you're talking about how much you love Jesus to your bible group but deep down, you really don't care and are just using it as an act to get closer to women, eventually you feel fake and dishonest. I never went that far but you get the point.



It's better to get involved with groups that align with your interests and values because that way, if you meet a woman from these groups, you don't have to put on an act or pretend to be someone you're not.



Mona Pereth
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23 Apr 2021, 1:48 pm

Dog1 wrote:
You’ve been told hundreds of times over a span of years to leave Texas - and you have been instructed that this will solve your problems, which it will.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you rather enjoy spinning your wheels and wallowing in self-pity, instead.

Why have you not left Texas yet?

You would be away from your toxic family and given a chance to detox.

Marknis can't just pack up and move with no job prospects.

Moving to Austin would probably be a more realistic goal for Marknis than leaving Texas altogether. A move to Austin would be a significant improvement, culturally speaking. However, even a move to Austin is not something he can afford at the present time, given his current low-wage job.

So he first needs to decide on a longterm career goal, then obtain whatever kind of training is necessary to that end, and then start looking for jobs in Austin that will pay enough to allow him to live independently in Austin.


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Mona Pereth
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23 Apr 2021, 2:04 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
I will say this, it's never a good idea to join a social club that goes against your values, just for the purpose of meeting women or getting laid.

[...]

It's better to get involved with groups that align with your interests and values because that way, if you meet a woman from these groups, you don't have to put on an act or pretend to be someone you're not.


I totally agree.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Apr 2021, 2:49 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
You should get really good at coding, with an emphasis on learning how to code in virtual reality.

Because in the future, you can help with the creation of realistic girlfriends through virtual reality. The future of porn is going to be almost realistic virtual reality girlfriends and sex. Just imagine putting on your VR headset and being transformed into a room with a hot naked woman and you get to have sex with her and it almost feels like the real thing, that's going to the future of porn.

You could be one of the first to create something like that.


That sounds like a lot of work just to masturbate and still not have a partner outside of that context. :?


Now imagine that you code a perfect AI girlfriend with a perfect human-like intelligence and...













....she ends up rejecting you at the end. :lol:


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kraftiekortie
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23 Apr 2021, 2:56 pm

They had this sort of thing in a movie called "Weird Science," which was done back in 1985.



envirozentinel
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23 Apr 2021, 2:58 pm

Not if she's programmed to be a sub!!

I must say I agree 100% with Mona. Marknis has some work to focus on applying for positions in one or more of the larger cities. A well-crafted CV -perhaps someone from here can assist him with m drafting such. Perhaps that should be his next step upwards out of the rut he feels he's in.


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kraftiekortie
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23 Apr 2021, 3:00 pm

How about seeking a full-time Circulation Clerk position at a college library. They have quite a few colleges/universities in Austin and the Austin area.

Marknis has 13 years' experience as a part-time Circulation Clerk in a library in his city.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 23 Apr 2021, 7:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hurtloam
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23 Apr 2021, 3:04 pm

I think you're being too "all of nothing".

It's not giving up to stop focussing all your thoughts on finding a girlfriend.

I think you should stop focussing on it.

I was teaching my friend to use the macro lense on her camera the other day to zoom in and photograph close ups of flowers. I'm trying to get you to do the opposite and use a wider focus. Look for things you enjoy in life, not just one thing.

I'm reading Greg Sistero's book about the making of The Room right now and one of the reasons he became friends with Tommy Wiseau was because he enjoyed creating experiences. Like they drove for hours just to go visit James Dean's crash site. That doesn't sound that exciting, but it was a fun and different thing to do that broke up the every day monotony of life. Greg realised then that he wanted to make more experiences after that and not live in a bubble.

Go make experiences. Go live life.



Mona Pereth
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23 Apr 2021, 3:17 pm

Marknis wrote:
I really don’t see any hope for me in finding love. I’ve tried asking women out for coffee in person, I used to be a part of an Autism/Aspergers support group where I did have a brief relationship,

Good.

Marknis wrote:
I’ve made myself attend social groups even if they were against my values,

Attending anything that goes against your values is NOT a good idea. Women with values contrary to yours are NOT good potential girlfriends, period, end of story.

Marknis wrote:
I tried dating sites as well as apps, I tried calling a dating agency but was denied due to being only a part time employee, I attended two speed dating events in Austin, I’ve put up dating profiles on here as well as other forums, I’ve used chat rooms, I once tried a “fling site” out of desperation, I’ve made myself go to bars even though they stunk and only played country music, and maybe some other things I can’t recall right now. I feel like I have tried practically every avenue possible and the results have been disappointing. Is there truly any hope for me or should I just give up? Even if I give up, I don’t want to continue much longer.

One avenue you haven't tried: Perhaps you might want to consider starting a Meetup group called "Sober _______s," filling in the blank with the appropriate term for people into some hobby of yours that attracts a significant number of women as well as men. Should you decide to do this, I can give you lots of relevant advice.

Be that as it may, I don't think you have "no hope" of finding a girlfriend. But I do think you could greatly increase your chances by temporarily giving up on it and focusing, for now, on improving your life in other ways. Specifically, you need to decide on a career goal and do everything necessary to prepare for it ASAP, so you can then afford to move to Austin.

Even the above-suggested creation of a Meetup group would probably work a whole lot better in Austin than in your current neck of the woods.


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hurtloam
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23 Apr 2021, 10:01 pm

That's a brilliant idea Mona.

The only reason I have any kind of social life is because I don't sit around waiting to be invited. If I did that I would be really lonely.

Instead I organise things to invite people to. In lockdown I've been doing quizzes on Zoom for people.