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Noamx
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16 Aug 2022, 4:59 am

Well, some women have a tendency to be gold diggers, even if they dont really mean to be always intentionally. They just like rich men who have alot of money, and if she asks alot of financial questions, its obviously the case.

Can you explain what you think about this subject generally, and if you have dated someone in the past, who was a gold digger? If yes, how did you find out she was a gold digger?

I dated someone like that myself in the past. I found out by the fact she asked alot of financial questions, including how much I earn per month/week, and so on. I didnt want to lie about it, so I told her the real amount and she dumped me on the same day. It wasnt a pleasant experience, for sure. I guess I dont need to tell the truth all the time.



kraftiekortie
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16 Aug 2022, 5:07 am

This thread is gonna cause problems….

Out of 30+ women I’ve dated, only one was a true “gold-digger.”

Honestly, I don’t find too many women who are that “type.”



kraftiekortie
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16 Aug 2022, 5:19 am

It’s a lousy stereotype….just like the one where Aspies spend all their time in their mother’s basement.



Noamx
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16 Aug 2022, 5:21 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
This thread is gonna cause problems….

I disagree with that part. Maybe someone will come here and share something interesting? Let's wait and see.



kraftiekortie
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16 Aug 2022, 5:35 am

As long as we realize that few women are actually gold-diggers, like few men would actually force themselves upon a woman, then we’ll be okay.



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16 Aug 2022, 5:41 am

I've had rich men boast about their financial status, hoping I'd date them. And I've come across male gold diggers, too.

I think you were right to be honest...it filters out the kind of women you don't want to date. Some rich men and women are happy to flash their cash to attract a partner - the arrangement works for both parties.


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kraftiekortie
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16 Aug 2022, 6:09 am

Sure there are male gold-diggers….I’ve met a couple.

I keep away from mercenary sorts of relationships. They leave a bad taste in my mouth. There’s no quality to these sorts of relationships.

Sure, marriage was primarily a business arrangement in the old days—and still is, sometimes.

But I just don’t like that element accompanying love and friendship. It screws up my view of the world.



Where_am_I
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16 Aug 2022, 6:19 am

Yeah, it's not my thing. I guess it works for some.


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16 Aug 2022, 7:28 am

It seems a very unpleasant experience. But to me, we should be thankful for such people (man or woman). Because they don't hide their intentions and are predictable. They do not take our time and give us information about social situations and the world. This information can be hurtful as in your case.

But there are some people who give you no information, but lots of stress. I had a friend at university, and I had loved her. When I bring this to her, she said "your feelings are NOT real". And such comments may lead to alienating, even to yourself. But I healed my scars.

Later when I read on Asperger syndrome, I learned that when an Aspie loves, he or she gives no clue of his/her feelings. And I understood why she said this.

I never mean that you are in the same situation. I just mean that life is a learning. You can not imagine what kind of troubles people like me who are borned in undeveloped nations suffer from. When I was going to cram school, a male person always came and bully me, because he discovered that my hands were shaking from fear when he close to me. And people who knew that I am different always bullied me. I did nothing wrong. But they gave me a whole lot of information. I started to read like a spunge. I focus on what I can do. I do NOT hate any of those people. Because I see them as animals. When an animal hurts you, you probably dont hurt it in return.

But I don't trust NTs. And I don't suffer any pain no more. I see them (sufferings) irrational which should be removed on earth.

Because of that NTs are running the world, I dont feel any responsibility of the bad things happening all the time. Even if I fight to change the world for a better future.

I rambled the topic, I guess. I did not want to turn focus on my experiences. But I just wanted to say : get what you need to learn from it. I just want you all to suffer less.



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rse92
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16 Aug 2022, 12:17 pm

Whether you like it or not, a woman has the right to know what a man's income is in determining whether he is mating material. Maybe she was way too forward about it, but it's OK for her to ask. That doesn't make her a gold digger. Unless you drove up in a Maserati I suspect she knew already you weren't rich. But you might make a decent living.

If you can't work more than five hours a day, you are going to have trouble with that question.



kraftiekortie
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16 Aug 2022, 5:50 pm

It's none of anybody's business what somebody's income is-----unless a couple is about to be engaged.



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16 Aug 2022, 6:50 pm

I was never with a gold digger because I've never had gold. Well, the little I had was sold. My ex admitted to stealing from me, though, and he asked me for drinking money when I had less money than he did and was the sole person who was financially responsible for our child. Fun times.


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Last edited by Twilightprincess on 16 Aug 2022, 7:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.

IsabellaLinton
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16 Aug 2022, 6:51 pm

I dated two gold diggers and married / divorced one of them.

They were both men.

Then there was another abusive man who stole my money even though we weren't in a relationship.

That's not to say all men are gold diggers.

I'm just adept at finding the losers.



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16 Aug 2022, 6:53 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I'm just adept at finding the losers.


I'm adept at finding losers, too. I think I finally got it figured out, though.


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16 Aug 2022, 7:04 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
I was never with a gold digger because I've never had gold. Well, the little I had was sold. My ex admitted to stealing from me, though, and he asked me for drinking money when I had less money than he did and was the sole person who was financially responsible for our child. Fun times.


The problem is you don't have to be rich to be used.

Some people will take whatever you have, even if it's debt.

(Example: One of mine did identity theft to take my credit score and borrow money, took credit cards, etc. My exh was gay but admitted he married me so he could take half of my assets including my home.)



Last edited by IsabellaLinton on 16 Aug 2022, 7:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.