Tell me what sucks about you and I'll work w/ you to fix it

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28 Nov 2009, 9:59 pm

Zeek wrote:
Spokane_Girl wrote:
Zeek wrote:
I have no self esteem (well I do except for dating. I think myself undateable). I have acne which I have cream and pills for and I'm overweight. I have lost my will to socialise except for with an exclusive few. I also have high anxiety levels and cut/burn/bite myself sometimes. I sometimes wish my life had never existed and hate my mother and sometimes resent my grandmother (I live with my grandparents)



Well you can diet and work out to lose weight. Keep using the acne cream.


I can't diet because my folks control my food intake. When I move out I'm gonna go anorexic for a while, just til I lose the weight and I can't go to the gym because I'm too young. I do go for walks sometimes but it's summer here and the pills I'm taking make me sensitive to the sun. Oh yeah if the pills I'm using haven't worked well enough (I find out in a week) I take a drug which could cause depression. I'm good at covering though so if I do get depressed everyone will think I'm fine



Well I meant eat healthy when I said diet. I'm sure your parents cook healthy foods instead of junk or TV dinners or food that's fattening.



PaganMom
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28 Nov 2009, 10:01 pm

Zeek wrote:
I can't diet because my folks control my food intake. When I move out I'm gonna go anorexic for a while, just til I lose the weight and I can't go to the gym because I'm too young. I do go for walks sometimes but it's summer here and the pills I'm taking make me sensitive to the sun. Oh yeah if the pills I'm using haven't worked well enough (I find out in a week) I take a drug which could cause depression. I'm good at covering though so if I do get depressed everyone will think I'm fine


I would think if you feel that you are overweight and you really are, then if you tell your parents you want to lose weight they will be glad to help you with that. I have a 13yo daughter who is overweight and I'm working with her on losing it. It's not a problem for parents to help kids do that. Have you talked to them about it?

When I was younger I had a bad case of acne myself. I tried so many things, and lots of prescriptions. The one thing that worked best for me was plain toothpaste. Not the gel or the whitening. Just plain Crest or Colgate paste. You put it on the zits and leave it on for about 15 mins then wash it off. It dries them out really fast. It's hard on your skin so don't leave it on longer than 15 mins. For blackheads, some sort of scrub works. St Ives makes a scrub from apricots thats good. Something grainy. And wash your face very often because blackheads are caused by clogged pores, and that can happen quickly.

Good luck!

PaganMom



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28 Nov 2009, 10:02 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:
Well I meant eat healthy when I said diet. I'm sure your parents cook healthy foods instead of junk or TV dinners or food that's fattening.


That's not enough for everybody... I, for one, don't eat much in the way of junk, but what gets me is the volume consumed...



PaganMom
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28 Nov 2009, 10:04 pm

Icewolf wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Icewolf wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Icewolf wrote:
I remain insecure about my looks and sex appeal...specifically my face. I am a freshman in college, but largely went through high school with little to no attention from girls and didn't even get a girlfriend until this September.

http://i379.photobucket.com/albums/oo23 ... 0_1713.jpg

http://i379.photobucket.com/albums/oo23 ... 0_1739.jpg

I am more frequently seen with glasses.


What exactly do you not like about your appearance, and why do you think you lack sex appeal?


Mainly, my face. I think this because if there is something wrong with my face, there is utterly nothing I would be able to do about it.

I feel as if I have to work hard to get sex appeal because I don't have any to begin with, and have numerous things actually working against me. I just don't feel like I can turn anyone on, largely because I don't think I ever did.

I'm not concerned if I'm percieved as bare-boned; I can work out. I'm not concerned if it's my weight; I can lose weight. But if it's my face...I'm screwed.


So your main issue is with your face? The first option is surgery if it bothers you that much, but who in your personal opinion has an ideal face?


It doesn't matter. I don't know what exactly is wrong, I just suspect it's the reason I'm unattractive.

What if I just have the unfortunate combination of vague unattractive facial features that turn off girls and make me appear disgusting? I can't just walk into a clinic and say, "I dunno what's wrong with my face, but girls don't like it and I want them to."



Sweetie, what's wrong with your face? I think you're very nice looking. I showed your pic to my two teenage daughters and they thought so too. You look just fine, it might be confidence that your lacking. Sometimes when people aren't confident they don't come across as well and that could be the problem.

PaganMom



28 Nov 2009, 10:10 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Spokane_Girl wrote:
Well I meant eat healthy when I said diet. I'm sure your parents cook healthy foods instead of junk or TV dinners or food that's fattening.


That's not enough for everybody... I, for one, don't eat much in the way of junk, but what gets me is the volume consumed...



What do you mean by not enough?



Zeek
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28 Nov 2009, 10:59 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Spokane_Girl wrote:
Well I meant eat healthy when I said diet. I'm sure your parents cook healthy foods instead of junk or TV dinners or food that's fattening.


That's not enough for everybody... I, for one, don't eat much in the way of junk, but what gets me is the volume consumed...


Same here. The dietitian said my diet is perfectly healthy. It's just my lack of exercise. And I often forget to go for walks, I get preoccupied



Gremmie
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29 Nov 2009, 5:38 am

Try to eat slightly less then. Don't just stop eating altogether, that's really unhealthy and there's a good chance you'll put all of the weight back on when you start eating again.



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29 Nov 2009, 7:06 am

Apparently hale_bopp has been IP banned, so I guess she won't be trying to help anyone here anymore :(



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29 Nov 2009, 7:35 am

ouinon wrote:
GalileoAce wrote:
Apparently hale_bopp has been IP banned, so I guess she won't be trying to help anyone here anymore :(

It doesn't sound like a banning; it sounds like she has just been allocated an IP address that has been used as the "node" for untraceable internet activity, and will just need to switch off her computer for a couple of hours to shake it, ( unless someone knows a faster way to do it ).

.


I don't know how you came to that conclusion based on the little information I presented.



lolwuthello
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29 Nov 2009, 7:41 am

Icewolf wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Icewolf wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Icewolf wrote:
I remain insecure about my looks and sex appeal...specifically my face. I am a freshman in college, but largely went through high school with little to no attention from girls and didn't even get a girlfriend until this September.


I am more frequently seen with glasses.


What exactly do you not like about your appearance, and why do you think you lack sex appeal?


Mainly, my face. I think this because if there is something wrong with my face, there is utterly nothing I would be able to do about it.

I feel as if I have to work hard to get sex appeal because I don't have any to begin with, and have numerous things actually working against me. I just don't feel like I can turn anyone on, largely because I don't think I ever did.

I'm not concerned if I'm percieved as bare-boned; I can work out. I'm not concerned if it's my weight; I can lose weight. But if it's my face...I'm screwed.


So your main issue is with your face? The first option is surgery if it bothers you that much, but who in your personal opinion has an ideal face?


It doesn't matter. I don't know what exactly is wrong, I just suspect it's the reason I'm unattractive.

What if I just have the unfortunate combination of vague unattractive facial features that turn off girls and make me appear disgusting? I can't just walk into a clinic and say, "I dunno what's wrong with my face, but girls don't like it and I want them to."


There isn't anything wrong with your appearance. The suggestion I made about surgery was a last ditch resort if nothing you feel could help you change. I will try and find you some pics of men women fawn over... whose faces are just like the rest of ours. You will see there is nothing wrong with your looks .... AT ALL.

:)

I will reply to the rest of the stuff here if this account doesn't get gagged sacked and buried over the next few hours too.



rossc
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29 Nov 2009, 8:17 am

BornToDie wrote:
Spokane_Girl wrote:
BornToDie wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
Pretty straightforward title, but at least everyone knows what I mean.

What don't you like about yourself? Can be ANYTHING, looks, personality, social problems etc. Don't be shy.

This thread is only here for POSITIVE OUTCOMES and intentions.


i often thehave a strong reaction to people who think others need to be or should be "fixed" and then go off pontificating their ideas about what others should do, stating the obvious, and asking disingenuous questions as though it will make a difference.

OP...do you think you can fix this for me?




If people didn't want to be helped, they wouldn't be posting in this thread.


people are always looking for help and frequently they are so desperate for help they will even turn to shaman and charlatans. pepole should seek help from those who can legitimately provide it in the proper context. the kinds of issues people deal with in real life can seldom be properly addressed in a forum such as this one. effective counseling requires a thorough background, history, and understanding of one's current circumstances. anything less is at best bad advice nad more likley malpractice and fraudulent.

i only wish more people would have the sense to understand this but so often they either don't or just set good judgment aside.


Lot of anger there.

I recommend a hug. Actually lots of them. No friends? Hug a stranger. You could make more friends that way. Hope this helps. :)



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29 Nov 2009, 1:23 pm

rossc wrote:
I recommend a hug. Actually lots of them. No friends? Hug a stranger. You could make more friends that way. Hope this helps. :)


Or it could land you in jail, since apparently in the US, hugs can be seen as sexual harrassment for some reason. That's part of why someday I want to move to Europe...



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29 Nov 2009, 4:05 pm

I occasionally stumble on what to say, and it has cost me some possible friendships/relationships. What would be the best thing to say to rectify my thoughts with those people?



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29 Nov 2009, 7:27 pm

I'm too kind and shy in real life and can't say no to people.



Klom
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29 Nov 2009, 10:26 pm

SoulcakeDuck wrote:
I'm too kind and shy in real life and can't say no to people.


Rationalizing is my way to go for it. If I have some sort of argument for saying no, it makes things easier. If I don't, I have a harder time. For instance, a clepto is currently borrowing my expensive music equipment. I feel a bit queasy about that! Being an ass hole is one way to get by too. Just not for me!



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30 Nov 2009, 7:46 am

Klom wrote:
SoulcakeDuck wrote:
I'm too kind and shy in real life and can't say no to people.


Rationalizing is my way to go for it. If I have some sort of argument for saying no, it makes things easier. If I don't, I have a harder time. For instance, a clepto is currently borrowing my expensive music equipment. I feel a bit queasy about that! Being an ass hole is one way to get by too. Just not for me!


I have a problem with being verbal when it comes to an argument or a way of telling someone whats what, I have so many things to say gathered in my head but I cant project verbally so I often lose arguments and they drain me of energy if I decide to take the person head on, especially those who have no logic and understanding in their arguments they just spew a lot of crap making them only look more stupid and those who change the conversation to something that will benefit them to win the argument. And I just don't have the power to stand there and nicely tell them that they are wrong.
If I'm upset and mad I change completely and i become way more brutal and honest in my verbalization but I don't like to be angry like that, makes me feel like I'm cruel and I'm doing something wrong for speaking my mind.

So it often ends with me losing or compromising... :oops: