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Ai_Ling
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23 Feb 2013, 8:29 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
My son is 13. He had a friend over and they started talking about why girls love a==hole guys.
My son's friend said because they're told in elementary school that if a guy is mean to you, it means he likes you. Are we women and girls abused because we took that bit of info literally as if it were training?! ! Holy smokes, I don't know about anybody else but that comment hit me deep. It really made me think. I'm 51 now but I didn't wise up until I was 30. Ladies...really think about this post and reflect. Out of the mouth of babes.


It makes absolutely no sense to me? I dont care for jerks, I'm perfer guys that are nice however I did go out with some jerks a few years ago because I couldnt read social signals correctly :( And yes I do regret going out with them.



MXH
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23 Feb 2013, 9:15 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
i think the biggest reason to NOT be a jerk/b***h is that... you still have to live with yourself. you have to look yourself in the mirror and live with facing the nasty person you've become, and it's all essentially just to manipulate others to get close to you for sex or dating. :cry: i don't see the benefit of what it gets you if you have to sell your soul to get it.

and the quality of the people who would be attracted to you... also not worth it, because they'd be some piece of work who is attracted to a jerk/b***h. that's messed up territory.

That's still to the choice of the person doing this and of those going after it.its why I don't feel bad about those that do



spongy
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24 Feb 2013, 12:44 am

AsteroidNap wrote:
spongy wrote:
Theres a movie that starts with its take on this and how its damaging future relationships for girls.

Of course its a romcom so most people will overlook whatever it says since its a fact that romcoms cant teach us anything[/sarcasm]


Yeah..it's a fairly recent movie too...I saw it in the theater and remember the female narrator saying essentially "boys being mean equates to love"

Can't remember the name of it though.


He is just not that into you



Shebakoby
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24 Feb 2013, 3:13 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
Out of the mouth of babes....WISDOM!

My son is 13. He had a friend over and they started talking about why girls love a==hole guys.
My son's friend said because they're told in elementary school that if a guy is mean to you, it means he likes you. Are we women and girls abused because we took that bit of info literally as if it were training?! ! Holy smokes, I don't know about anybody else but that comment hit me deep. It really made me think. I'm 51 now but I didn't wise up until I was 30. Ladies...really think about this post and reflect. Out of the mouth of babes.


I was actually told that too, but I didn't ever believe it.

I think some well-meaning but soft-headed twerp came up with that to make girls feel better about getting teased by boys, to make the teasing backfire. And boy did it societally backfire in the worst way.



The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Feb 2013, 6:30 am

mds_02 wrote:
Boo got it pretty much exactly right. It's not that arrogant as*hole behavior is attractive. It's that having people constantly fawning over you can make you arrogant and, if you're attractive enough in other ways (looks, wealth, whatever), you can get away with acting like an as*hole.

Think about kids who are spoiled by their parents, they turn into insufferable pricks. Well, parents aren't the only ones who can spoil a person, and kids aren't the only ones who can be spoiled.

People aren't drawn to the attractive jerks because they are jerks. They are drawn to them in spite of their jerkiness, because they are attractive.

This applies pretty equally to both genders.



You extended my idea to a deeper dimension, that's it, that's the truth.

AstroidNap is right too.


/Thread

/All threads of jerk/nice

Hyper and spongy, please close this thread for good and any spawning similair thread.



Kurgan
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24 Feb 2013, 8:05 am

Girls in their teens prefer jerks because they're immature, it's as simple as that. When I was 13, the girls in my class chased after the posers and the wannabe gangsters because that's what the music videos and not to mention the popular reality shows portrayed as good.

Apart from that, the guys they chased after were typically dressed in expensive and fashionable clothes, had rich parents, had the right friends, were very popular, had access to the biggest parties, had access to alcohol and drugs etc. What's peculiar, though, is that apart from the fact that they were tall, they were no better looking (some were in fact rather scrawny) or "alpha" than everyone else, apart from the fact that they were always taller than 6 feet. The cool clique had one alpha male surrounded by his beta and omega men.



The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Feb 2013, 9:36 am

^ By looks I meant overall appearance, height is a crucial part of the overall appearance for males.



Kurgan
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24 Feb 2013, 9:51 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ By looks I meant overall appearance, height is a crucial part of the overall appearance for males.


Yes, but so is jaw size, body fat percentage, V-shape and muscle mass.



MXH
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24 Feb 2013, 9:57 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ By looks I meant overall appearance, height is a crucial part of the overall appearance for males.

Its not as important as you make it out to be. Being tall by itself won't do much. The same goes for everything about appearance, having just 1 won't do anything, you need a good balance



Grisha
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24 Feb 2013, 10:13 am

I think a lot of the "women only like douchebags" comes from guys who think they are entitled to female attention because they are "nice" and are resentful when women don't comply.

The reality is that the vast majority of women *don't* like as*holes who abuse them, and it's borderline misogynist to believe otherwise.



Wrackspurt
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24 Feb 2013, 10:18 am

That little bit of playground BS never stuck with me, I was only ever friends with males I clashed with off spectrum females. Still do.



The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Feb 2013, 11:25 am

MXH wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ By looks I meant overall appearance, height is a crucial part of the overall appearance for males.

Its not as important as you make it out to be. Being tall by itself won't do much. The same goes for everything about appearance, having just 1 won't do anything, you need a good balance


I didn't deny the balance, I was replying Kurgan.



machf
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24 Feb 2013, 4:27 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
i think the biggest reason to NOT be a jerk/b***h is that... you still have to live with yourself. you have to look yourself in the mirror and live with facing the nasty person you've become, and it's all essentially just to manipulate others to get close to you for sex or dating. :cry: i don't see the benefit of what it gets you if you have to sell your soul to get it.

You do realize there are some people out there who don't care, right? They're only interested in getting it.

Quote:
and the quality of the people who would be attracted to you... also not worth it, because they'd be some piece of work who is attracted to a jerk/b***h. that's messed up territory.

But those I just refered to are only interested in (ab)using them, and then dropping them as quickly as possible. As I said, they just don't care.



hyperlexian
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24 Feb 2013, 4:41 pm

machf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
i think the biggest reason to NOT be a jerk/b***h is that... you still have to live with yourself. you have to look yourself in the mirror and live with facing the nasty person you've become, and it's all essentially just to manipulate others to get close to you for sex or dating. :cry: i don't see the benefit of what it gets you if you have to sell your soul to get it.

You do realize there are some people out there who don't care, right? They're only interested in getting it.

Quote:
and the quality of the people who would be attracted to you... also not worth it, because they'd be some piece of work who is attracted to a jerk/b***h. that's messed up territory.

But those I just refered to are only interested in (ab)using them, and then dropping them as quickly as possible. As I said, they just don't care.

sure, absolutely - just like MXH also pointed out. people can't be made to care about others or even themselves. in a sense this is a pointless conversation because the people who are going to do whatever it takes to get laid/get dates will do those things regardless of the effect it has on themselves or others. they just don't care, so won't be deterred.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Feb 2013, 4:52 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
i think the biggest reason to NOT be a jerk/b***h is that... you still have to live with yourself. you have to look yourself in the mirror and live with facing the nasty person you've become, and it's all essentially just to manipulate others to get close to you for sex or dating. :cry: i don't see the benefit of what it gets you if you have to sell your soul to get it.

and the quality of the people who would be attracted to you... also not worth it, because they'd be some piece of work who is attracted to a jerk/b***h. that's messed up territory.


I am a jerk and when I look at the mirror I go like 'f**k yeah!! !".

So speak for yourself ;p.



MXH
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24 Feb 2013, 5:42 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
i think the biggest reason to NOT be a jerk/b***h is that... you still have to live with yourself. you have to look yourself in the mirror and live with facing the nasty person you've become, and it's all essentially just to manipulate others to get close to you for sex or dating. :cry: i don't see the benefit of what it gets you if you have to sell your soul to get it.

and the quality of the people who would be attracted to you... also not worth it, because they'd be some piece of work who is attracted to a jerk/b***h. that's messed up territory.


I am a jerk and when I look at the mirror I go like 'f**k yeah!! !".

So speak for yourself ;p.


Pfft you wish you were a jerk.