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Jamesy
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03 Dec 2020, 2:26 pm

Age and intimacey!?

I met a couple the other day both 61 who told me that they dont have sex or even cuddle that much anymore.

There reason being they told me "because we are to old"

I dont get it though why does getting mean no sex life etc????



ElabR8Aspie
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03 Dec 2020, 4:08 pm

Age is no barrier to expressing unconditional love.

Couples who don't have sex,or i prefer to call it 'making love' and or expressing imtimacy,

lack unfortunately,showing and giving love,kindness and affection to each other in full unconditional love expression.

This is due to disconnection from the body/feelings and living in the mind.

Due to a various of reasons,be it stress,fear,worry,phobias,unresolved past issues etc etc

Another reason,sex wise,is health problems and the plumbing don't simply work anymore.

But that said,that doesn't stop expressing unconditional love in the way of intimacy such as cuddling,touching and kissing etc.

The couple you speak of,not only sound disconnected,but sounds as if,they need to remain a couple as if there obliged and perhaps by societies expectations and or upbringing etc.

and having no sex and or very little intimacy now,has become routine,the norm and now the staus quo of operandi.

Quite sad really,unfortunate and needless.



nick007
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04 Dec 2020, 3:17 am

I think sometimes as people age together things can become too routine. They learn everything there is to know about each other & things are no longer new & exciting for them. I mean new & exciting in good ways like the way you feel about someone when you 1st fall in love. Couples sometimes start to become annoyed & frustrated by various things after they've been together a while. They get tired of hearing the same stories & jokes day after day. It's like watching the same movie nonstop during all your waking hours. Or eating the same one food for every single meal & snack. Even if it was 1ce your favorite movie & meal, you start to get tired of the sameness day after day after day. The predictability of each other becomes numbingly boring. Also when you are older you tend to have various health issues which can directly make sex more difficult or the health issues can cause frustration with various stuff & decrease someone's quality of life which of corse can contribute to people placing sex & intimacy at a much lower priority rate. The couple can still majorly love each other but having sex & being intimate witch each other quits being important. It is NOT like that for every older couple of corse but it does happen with some couples.


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ElabR8Aspie
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04 Dec 2020, 3:39 am

Further thought and reflection:

Do we need sex and intimacy?

Or is that just self absorbed selfish need on the material plane?

And or is that,what is portrayed by programming,what we think we need by societies 'ways',expectations and how they portray things through the news and media?Etc

Or do we just need 'unconditional love',like you get from a parent or sibling etc etc,a connection.

No questioning,no judgement nor is there any waivering from the truth,it just is.

Free flowing acceptance,free flowing communication without judgement nor expectations.

Au natural.

Seems hard to attain.

But,when the heart is open...

and losing 'attachments',judgements and expectations,

attainment,

starts with,self love,then inner peace.

No efforts there after,nor judgement,nor any expectations.



Fnord
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04 Dec 2020, 11:38 am

I am in my early sixties, and my lovely wife is a few years younger than I.  We both often enjoy sexual intimacy with each other.  It all depends on the depth of your love for each other and your ability to perform.

Those people who say they are "too old" have likely either fallen out of love with each other, or they have some physical, mental, or emotional issues that inhibit their desire for each other.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Dec 2020, 12:19 pm

Testosterone decreases significantly with age.


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ElabR8Aspie
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04 Dec 2020, 1:32 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Testosterone decreases significantly with age.


...but unconditional love never fades.



Rexi
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08 Dec 2020, 7:14 pm

There are people who never fall out of love. I have yet to be proven im Not one of them. I had many partners of both genders and not short relationships[4 yrs and 7 months my longest, online]. They lose the puppy love in maximum 5 months and start being emotionally non present.

Their motivation decreases and to quote 'being with you is like a chore'.

Most people fall out of love. Get lazy. Stop working and become more like roommates. They do their own thing. They don't have sex with partner and don't even jack off together. They don't even watch porn together. They are just 'gone'. They don't have the interest, drive and value of creating moments together.

That's not someone I would want to be with, anymore.

I believe these people are no longer in a commitment.



kraftiekortie
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08 Dec 2020, 7:22 pm

I'm going to be 60 in less than a month. I do not have "low T."

My wife works in a nursing home. She says there's sex going on amongst couples all the time (yes, there are couples who "live together" in nursing homes). There's also the old geezers who flirt with the nurses, and the nurses flirt back :)

Do you believe the "Golden Girls" were lacking in their ability to charm their men?



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08 Dec 2020, 7:38 pm

I liked the series Golden Girls ,, very charming .......... I do believe love goes considerably deeper than just
The physical , but I also do like the concept of icing being on top of a cake . Sometimes love exists just as strongly in the heart as /or anywhere else in a person :heart: .! Just my humble opinion.


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nick007
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09 Dec 2020, 1:35 am

Rexi wrote:
There are people who never fall out of love. I have yet to be proven im Not one of them. I had many partners of both genders and not short relationships[4 yrs and 7 months my longest, online]. They lose the puppy love in maximum 5 months and start being emotionally non present.

Their motivation decreases and to quote 'being with you is like a chore'.

Most people fall out of love. Get lazy. Stop working and become more like roommates. They do their own thing. They don't have sex with partner and don't even jack off together. They don't even watch porn together. They are just 'gone'. They don't have the interest, drive and value of creating moments together.

That's not someone I would want to be with, anymore.

I believe these people are no longer in a commitment.
Me & my girlfriend have been living together for over 8 years now & we were a couple for half a year before that. We are still very affectionate with each other & spend most of the day together sometimes. We hang out a lot & do chores together a bit or keep each other company while the other is doing em. She's sitting next to me rite now playing a vid game while I'm on my phone typing this & slightly watching TV & we are talking a little too. However we have not had sex in close to two years now do to her having various health issues, phsyical & mental stuff. I've gotten out of shape over those years as well thou. Having sex has never been a priority for either of us. We both care aLOT more about our relationship & each other than our sex lives. She just got up & I reached & patted her.


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Pepe
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09 Dec 2020, 3:29 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Testosterone decreases significantly with age.


Yup, and so does the libdo, whether people want it to happen or not.

Without testosterone, there is no sexual interest, for a male. 8O
Simples.

My libido is still there.
I'm sure everyone wanted to know that. :mrgreen:


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09 Dec 2020, 3:49 am

The mind is willing but the flesh is weak

I passed a hot babe in tight micro shorts who crossed the road to avoid me and my dog. She need not have bothered.



Pepe
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09 Dec 2020, 3:52 am

Wow.
Interesting stuff.

Rexi wrote:
There are people who never fall out of love. I have yet to be proven im Not one of them. I had many partners of both genders and not short relationships[4 yrs and 7 months my longest, online]. They lose the puppy love in maximum 5 months and start being emotionally non present.


So you are saying you are the last to fall out of luv with your partner?

Rexi wrote:
Their motivation decreases and to quote 'being with you is like a chore'.


They say this to you, or you say this to them?

Rexi wrote:
Most people fall out of love. Get lazy. Stop working and become more like roommates.


I never have, but the longest relationship I ever had was 5 years.

Rexi wrote:
They do their own thing. They don't have sex with partner and don't even jack off together. They don't even watch porn together. They are just 'gone'. They don't have the interest, drive and value of creating moments together.

That's not someone I would want to be with, anymore.

I believe these people are no longer in a commitment.


Most relationships fail, yes.
Being in one isn't the bee's knees, more often than not.


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Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. There are *4* lights. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,


"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet." Humour is not meant to be taken seriously, yet many pervert its intent.
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


I luv KFC!


Pepe
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09 Dec 2020, 3:54 am

cyberdad wrote:
The mind is willing but the flesh is weak

I passed a hot babe in tight micro shorts who crossed the road to avoid me and my dog. She need not have bothered.


NT males aren't usually that honest.
Good on ya. ;)


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Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. There are *4* lights. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,


"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet." Humour is not meant to be taken seriously, yet many pervert its intent.
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


I luv KFC!


Pepe
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09 Dec 2020, 3:57 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm going to be 60 in less than a month. I do not have "low T."

My wife works in a nursing home. She says there's sex going on amongst couples all the time (yes, there are couples who "live together" in nursing homes). There's also the old geezers who flirt with the nurses, and the nurses flirt back :)

Do you believe the "Golden Girls" were lacking in their ability to charm their men?


I have been practising all my life, to do that. :mrgreen:


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Laughter is the best medicine. Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct.
Don't tell me white lies. Gaslight me at your peril. Don't give me your bad attitude. Hypnosis, psychosis. Tomarto, tomayto. There are *4* lights. Honey badger.
If I'm so bad, pass me by. ;)


And one more thing,


"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet." Humour is not meant to be taken seriously, yet many pervert its intent.
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)


I luv KFC!