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Aspieguyinnc
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29 Mar 2007, 9:23 pm

I was wondering when message a girl online like on a site such as myspace. What is the best thing to say to her that will make :?: her want to read your message and replay to it. What is a good Subject line to write your message and what should you say in the message.



squatterandtheant
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29 Mar 2007, 10:15 pm

Read her profile, see what she likes, see is there anything you two have in common, ask her specific questions about her interests - i.e she likes to collect ...whatever -ask her when or how she begin doing so. Take an interest in her. Maybe compliment her on some aspect of her profile- but avoid the obvious like "You're Gorgeous" be subtle.

good luck dude

8) :lol:



squatterandtheant
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29 Mar 2007, 10:16 pm

Read her profile, see what she likes, see is there anything you two have in common, ask her specific questions about her interests - i.e she likes to collect ...whatever -ask her when or how she begin doing so. Take an interest in her. Maybe compliment her on some aspect of her profile- but avoid the obvious like "You're Gorgeous" be subtle.

good luck dude

8) :lol:



Aspieguyinnc
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29 Mar 2007, 10:20 pm

squatterandtheant wrote:
Read her profile, see what she likes, see is there anything you two have in common, ask her specific questions about her interests - i.e she likes to collect ...whatever -ask her when or how she begin doing so. Take an interest in her. Maybe compliment her on some aspect of her profile- but avoid the obvious like "You're Gorgeous" be subtle.

good luck dude

8) :lol:
thanks.i always giveing a girl a compliment online like Hi you are HOT or sexy or Gorgeous.Is it good when messaging someone ot told them about you? or it a bad idea?



squatterandtheant
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29 Mar 2007, 10:41 pm

Yeah you can tell her about yourself, but be positive. Eg I like.. I'm good at..

AVOID begining too obvious straight away! Don't go stright for: Oh you're sexy (or hot or gorgeous even if she is, cause she probably hears that everyday) Instead make a compliment more specific like I like your smile, I like your hair, you've got a twinkle in your eye etc. try to make her feel special.

Always be lighthearted and friendly. Maybe you don't even need to compliment her but show an interest in what she's interested in. Read up on it if needs be.

:lol:



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29 Mar 2007, 10:46 pm

Telling people about yourself online is something to be dealt with slowly and cautiously. Even offline, people like talking about themselves, and you may get a more positive reaction for being "a good listener" than for talking about yourself.

But online, you also don't know exactly what you're dealing with. People aren't always quite what they seem, the image they want to project may not be much like reality, and it's very hard to judge the character of people you encounter online. So until you get to know somebody quite well, you might not want to tell them anything which you'd be uncomfortable if they told other people, or if they posted their chat logs, or whatever.

It's sad to have to be careful with people that way, since most of them will probably end up being reasonably trustworthy. But the ones who aren't trustworthy can be really unpleasant, so take things slowly, and don't be in a hurry to give away personal info that you might regret.



Aspieguyinnc
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29 Mar 2007, 11:05 pm

geek wrote:
Telling people about yourself online is something to be dealt with slowly and cautiously. Even offline, people like talking about themselves, and you may get a more positive reaction for being "a good listener" than for talking about yourself.

But online, you also don't know exactly what you're dealing with. People aren't always quite what they seem, the image they want to project may not be much like reality, and it's very hard to judge the character of people you encounter online. So until you get to know somebody quite well, you might not want to tell them anything which you'd be uncomfortable if they told other people, or if they posted their chat logs, or whatever.

It's sad to have to be careful with people that way, since most of them will probably end up being reasonably trustworthy. But the ones who aren't trustworthy can be really unpleasant, so take things slowly, and don't be in a hurry to give away personal info that you might regret.
very well said.It kind of sad because i don't know about you guys but when i'm chating online i'm some time why to open then i should .I mean i don't give them my home Address or my phone number or even email address .Some time you feel your safe when you are online but in fact you are not so safe as you might think that you are



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30 Mar 2007, 1:05 am

Uhm.

Aspieguy.

you've come to the right place.

I'm Doc Gamester, resident Dating Doc, advice giver, psych analyst and counclor.

ahem

just to get something straight, because I'm kinda confused, what exactly is the context of this message. Not that I don't understand it, I think I do. But to be perfectly clear, I just want to make sure that I understand what you are saying.

I think what i can garner is that you are wanting advice on how to talk to women online? especially myspace correctus?

None of us, and especially those who have already beaten me to the punch, can tell you how to do it, we can just advise you in the direction you may want to go.

complementing them is always a great way to go, but say something nice to them, don't go the way that most jerks do, and say something that will obviously not give you a chance.........ever.

I can say from past experiences, is that just being yourself is the best thing you have to offer, may not sound like much, but believe me, its the best thing ever.

trust me.

Doc Gamester.


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Aspieguyinnc
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30 Mar 2007, 11:20 am

Gamester wrote:
Uhm.

Aspieguy.

you've come to the right place.

I'm Doc Gamester, resident Dating Doc, advice giver, psych analyst and counclor.

ahem

just to get something straight, because I'm kinda confused, what exactly is the context of this message. Not that I don't understand it, I think I do. But to be perfectly clear, I just want to make sure that I understand what you are saying.

I think what i can garner is that you are wanting advice on how to talk to women online? especially myspace correctus?

None of us, and especially those who have already beaten me to the punch, can tell you how to do it, we can just advise you in the direction you may want to go.

complementing them is always a great way to go, but say something nice to them, don't go the way that most jerks do, and say something that will obviously not give you a chance.........ever.

I can say from past experiences, is that just being yourself is the best thing you have to offer, may not sound like much, but believe me, its the best thing ever.

trust me.

Doc Gamester.
I did mean just myspace I was just giving an example. Just any free dating site it can be myspace or it can be anther site. And agree with you 100% that it important to be your self .Btw I was wondering does someone know of any site that someone with Asperser’s will have a better luck then anther site of finding a date ?



Aspieguyinnc
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30 Mar 2007, 11:21 am

Gamester wrote:
Uhm.

Aspieguy.

you've come to the right place.

I'm Doc Gamester, resident Dating Doc, advice giver, psych analyst and counclor.

ahem

just to get something straight, because I'm kinda confused, what exactly is the context of this message. Not that I don't understand it, I think I do. But to be perfectly clear, I just want to make sure that I understand what you are saying.

I think what i can garner is that you are wanting advice on how to talk to women online? especially myspace correctus?

None of us, and especially those who have already beaten me to the punch, can tell you how to do it, we can just advise you in the direction you may want to go.

complementing them is always a great way to go, but say something nice to them, don't go the way that most jerks do, and say something that will obviously not give you a chance.........ever.

I can say from past experiences, is that just being yourself is the best thing you have to offer, may not sound like much, but believe me, its the best thing ever.

trust me.

Doc Gamester.
I did not mean just myspace I was just giving an example. Just any free dating site it can be myspace or it can be anther site. And agree with you 100% that it important to be your self .Btw I was wondering does someone know of any site that someone with Asperser’s will have a better luck then anther site of finding a date ?



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30 Mar 2007, 12:37 pm

yeah.

the aspieaffection site sponsored by this site.


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calandale
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30 Mar 2007, 6:50 pm

Aspieguyinnc wrote:
I was wondering when message a girl online like on a site such as myspace. What is the best thing to say to her that will make :?: her want to read your message and replay to it. What is a good Subject line to write your message and what should you say in the message.


Wait until you know her.



Gamester
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30 Mar 2007, 9:15 pm

right. good thing to say Calendale.


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Aspieguyinnc
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30 Mar 2007, 10:26 pm

calandale wrote:
Aspieguyinnc wrote:
I was wondering when message a girl online like on a site such as myspace. What is the best thing to say to her that will make :?: her want to read your message and replay to it. What is a good Subject line to write your message and what should you say in the message.


Wait until you know her.
easy said then done.When you go on a dateing site you have to make the first move also on a dateing site you don't know anyone.You see the thing for me on a site like Myspace let just say she will read my message she might even add me to her friend list but she won't replay to me.What can i say to a girl online that will make her want to talk to me and let say not talking to the other guy?



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30 Mar 2007, 10:36 pm

Yeah. It was a joke. I have absolutely no idea. Frankly, I can't tell how you can see if you'd be interested in someone with such a small amount of contact. I'd suggest instead (if you MUST do this online) finding a forum which is likely to have people who share your interests. At least you have a non-threatening way of interacting with people.

Now, if you're looking for people in your area, it's a lot trickier. But, you still might get lucky with the ideas that I've mentioned.



Gamester
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30 Mar 2007, 10:37 pm

yeah.

use AspieAffection.


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