my personal dating experiences and negative media

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AdamAutistic
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13 Aug 2015, 9:20 pm

before i was easily able to find dates and meet new people using the internet. i could casual mention to them that i have autism and they would be "okay. that's cool. let's meet!". (the main thing about this statement is that people were willing to meet up with me, though they didn't stay with me long, they did want to meet me)

after autism became a popular target with the media (such as the infamous Autism Speaks) things suddenly became "do you flap and scream?" and "i could never even meet, let alone date somebody like you".

it eventually got to the point where nobody wouldn't even respond to a simple "hello" (at that point i "rage-quitted" the dating site i was using, which proved to be very successful for me in the past.)

these are just my personal experiences, but i do really feel there is a connection here.


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MissUnderstud
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13 Aug 2015, 9:28 pm

AdamAutistic wrote:
before i was easily able to find dates and meet new people using the internet. i could casual mention to them that i have autism and they would be "okay. that's cool. let's meet!". (the main thing about this statement is that people were willing to meet up with me, though they didn't stay with me long, they did want to meet me)

after autism became a popular target with the media (such as the infamous Autism Speaks) things suddenly became "do you flap and scream?" and "i could never even meet, let alone date somebody like you".

it eventually got to the point where nobody wouldn't even respond to a simple "hello" (at that point i "rage-quitted" the dating site i was using, which proved to be very successful for me in the past.)

these are just my personal experiences, but i do really feel there is a connection here.


Why are you telling strangers that you are autistic before you have exchanged a few emails and progressed to the point of arranging to meet in person?



yellowtamarin
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13 Aug 2015, 10:52 pm

MissUnderstud wrote:
Why are you telling strangers that you are autistic before you have exchanged a few emails and progressed to the point of arranging to meet in person?

I personally like to hear stuff like that as early as possible. I've told plenty of people within the first few messages, or they have told me similar things. With the right people this is not a terrible idea.

I'm not sure how recent the OP is talking about, I haven't been online dating for a few months, but before that I didn't have negative experiences from mentioning my autism.



AdamAutistic
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14 Aug 2015, 7:24 am

i am not really sure of the exact time, but i do know it was before and after the rise of negative autism media.
i would say over the course of several years.

i was kinda slow to realize the connection, as i know all this anti-autism stuff has been going on for awhile.


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Last edited by AdamAutistic on 14 Aug 2015, 7:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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14 Aug 2015, 7:32 am

Haven't seen you in a long time, Adam.

How are you doing?



AdamAutistic
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14 Aug 2015, 7:36 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Haven't seen you in a long time, Adam.

How are you doing?


doing pretty well except for the difficulty to find dates.


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Venger
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14 Aug 2015, 8:54 am

MissUnderstud wrote:
AdamAutistic wrote:
before i was easily able to find dates and meet new people using the internet. i could casual mention to them that i have autism and they would be "okay. that's cool. let's meet!". (the main thing about this statement is that people were willing to meet up with me, though they didn't stay with me long, they did want to meet me)

after autism became a popular target with the media (such as the infamous Autism Speaks) things suddenly became "do you flap and scream?" and "i could never even meet, let alone date somebody like you".

it eventually got to the point where nobody wouldn't even respond to a simple "hello" (at that point i "rage-quitted" the dating site i was using, which proved to be very successful for me in the past.)

these are just my personal experiences, but i do really feel there is a connection here.


Why are you telling strangers that you are autistic before you have exchanged a few emails and progressed to the point of arranging to meet in person?


Uh his username on here might be a clue.

I've noticed that people on here who put words like "autistic" and "aspie" in their WP-username seem to think that autism is something NTs regularly think about(even though it's usually the last thing they think about) :roll:



AdamAutistic
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14 Aug 2015, 9:26 am

Venger wrote:

Uh his username on here might be a clue.

I've noticed that people on here who put words like "autistic" and "aspie" in their WP-username seem to think that autism is something NTs regularly think about(even though it's usually the last thing they think about) :roll:


not me, but i do wish i could change my username to something else. i don't know what i was thinking when i picked this name.

actually, part of the reason why i left wrongplanet awhile ago was because i didn't like my username. :P


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sly279
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14 Aug 2015, 2:45 pm

AdamAutistic wrote:
i am not really sure of the exact time, but i do know it was before and after the rise of negative autism media.
i would say over the course of several years.

i was kinda slow to realize the connection, as i know all this anti-autism stuff has been going on for awhile.


yes the media saying every mass shooter has aspergers doesn't help. they want somethign to say oh they're different and thats why they did it. some reason to explain it because the truth that people any people can do such actions scares them. humans dont' like the unexplained. there's no explaining evil so they try to find ways to. right now its popular to say its autistic then you can blame autistic and punish them for it. thankfully there's groups who stand up and try to protect us from the media .

though while that mostly prevents laws that would punish us or lock us up. it doesnt' prevent public opinion of us as seeing as as all possible violent people. which is so wrong as we are way more likely to be victims then the person hurting others.

I was and still kinda am ashamed of being an aspie but after all the media has done I'm now afraid of telling people.
it happens here where some nts will compare us to the shooters. so I can only imagine what most nts would think.

I'd never list it on a dating site. I don't think I'll ever tell any gf i might have either unless it causes us to almost break up in which case it'll help calm us down and work out any issues aspergers caused.



russdm
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14 Aug 2015, 6:16 pm

sly279 wrote:
yes the media saying every mass shooter has aspergers doesn't help.


I haven't wanted to engage in any kind of mass shootings. the only mass action I have ever wanted to perform was to get a bunch of girls I liked/like and kiss them. After that, I would think I would be really shy afterward and find it hard to doing anything mass for a bit.

Shooting a bunch of people is just mean; shooting one person who really doesn't deserve it is mean. Shooting someone who does deserve it just once is just tacky.

Mass shooters do what they do for the reasons they do, and you can't apply that logic to another.

There are bad people from every background, that doesn't mean one background produces all of the bad people.



sly279
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14 Aug 2015, 10:03 pm

russdm wrote:
sly279 wrote:
yes the media saying every mass shooter has aspergers doesn't help.


I haven't wanted to engage in any kind of mass shootings. the only mass action I have ever wanted to perform was to get a bunch of girls I liked/like and kiss them. After that, I would think I would be really shy afterward and find it hard to doing anything mass for a bit.

Shooting a bunch of people is just mean; shooting one person who really doesn't deserve it is mean. Shooting someone who does deserve it just once is just tacky.

Mass shooters do what they do for the reasons they do, and you can't apply that logic to another.

There are bad people from every background, that doesn't mean one background produces all of the bad people.



yep. I can't even kill bugs without feeling terrible and it has to be no other choice. I capture and release them outside.

they do it for the publicly and the news gives them tons of it.