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The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Oct 2017, 7:23 am

^ That's a sexual harrassement.



hurtloam
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07 Oct 2017, 7:23 am

I asked him out somewhere. That's a huge clue. He didn't text back. It's his loss
I made a move. He ignored me.



Closet Genious
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07 Oct 2017, 7:24 am

Maybe you just need to drop more silky things.



Outrider
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07 Oct 2017, 10:11 am

hurtloam wrote:
I asked him out somewhere. That's a huge clue. He didn't text back. It's his loss
I made a move. He ignored me.


Wait a bit longer, and how explicitly clear was it a date? Perhaps he didn't catch on.

But kudos for trying. :D



hale_bopp
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07 Oct 2017, 5:13 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ That's a sexual harrassement.


Yeah it’s pretty creepy. It more like sexual assault. It’s not normal. It’s enough for someone to get a restraining order against you.



Britte
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07 Oct 2017, 5:33 pm

May I ask how one can decipher between 'ghosting' and simply taking a break from the other person? Would it be 'ghosting', if a person takes a break, without letting you know that they are simply taking a break? Forgive me if this is a stupid question. I have seen the term posted around the forum, however, I haven't attempted to find out if I am correct in thinking it means leaving the other person without saying goodbye, or, letting the person know that they will return.

whatamievendoing wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Ghosting is the worst I've had.


Ghosting would hurt anyone. I experienced my fair share of it back when I used online dating sites (which I thankfully don't anymore). Even just saying "no" is less painful than that.



hale_bopp
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07 Oct 2017, 5:35 pm

Britte wrote:
May I ask how one can decipher between 'ghosting' and simply taking a break from the other person? Would it be 'ghosting', if a person takes a break, without letting you know that they are simply taking a break? Forgive me if this is a stupid question. I have seen the term posted around the forum, however, I haven't attempted to find out if I am correct in thinking it means leaving the other person without saying goodbye, or, letting the person know that they will return.

whatamievendoing wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Ghosting is the worst I've had.


Ghosting would hurt anyone. I experienced my fair share of it back when I used online dating sites (which I thankfully don't anymore). Even just saying "no" is less painful than that.


It probably is. It’s quite traumatic for people when someone takes a break from them and doesn’t communicate that.



kraftiekortie
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07 Oct 2017, 5:35 pm

It might not be "ghosting"---but it would seem like "ghosting" to the other person.



hurtloam
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07 Oct 2017, 10:50 pm

"Ghosting" is basically ignoring the person who is trying to communicate with you. The ghoster acts like they don't exist and can't see your communication.

I don't see a difference between "taking a break" and "ghosting".

As I said in the other thread. I will reply to people I'm not even that keen on in a friendship context, so I don't understand being rude and ignoring a person trying to get in touch with someone else.

I suppose if I sensed that a guy had a romantic interest in me and he kept on messaging me I wouldn't know how best to deal with that if I wasn't interested, but that's never happened to me. So I can't truthfully say whether I would start ignoring messages so that he would get the point.

I think I'd only do it if I felt I had to.

But that's just how I would react. Doesn't mean other people would do the same.



ShyGirl7
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07 Oct 2017, 11:39 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ That's a sexual harrassement.


Yeah it’s pretty creepy. It more like sexual assault. It’s not normal. It’s enough for someone to get a restraining order against you.


Awww. :P

What about spontaneity and romance?



hale_bopp
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07 Oct 2017, 11:51 pm

ShyGirl7 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ That's a sexual harrassement.


Yeah it’s pretty creepy. It more like sexual assault. It’s not normal. It’s enough for someone to get a restraining order against you.


Awww. :P

What about spontaneity and romance?


It works in romance movies, but imagine how you would feel if someone you really were not attracted to did that to you. I certainly would not enjoy that.. I can only speak for myself though.



ShyGirl7
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07 Oct 2017, 11:53 pm

hurtloam wrote:
"Ghosting" is basically ignoring the person who is trying to communicate with you. The ghoster acts like they don't exist and can't see your communication.

I don't see a difference between "taking a break" and "ghosting".

As I said in the other thread. I will reply to people I'm not even that keen on in a friendship context, so I don't understand being rude and ignoring a person trying to get in touch with someone else.

I suppose if I sensed that a guy had a romantic interest in me and he kept on messaging me I wouldn't know how best to deal with that if I wasn't interested, but that's never happened to me. So I can't truthfully say whether I would start ignoring messages so that he would get the point.

I think I'd only do it if I felt I had to.

But that's just how I would react. Doesn't mean other people would do the same.


What if you were interested but didn't know how to respond?

Would you be ghosting?



rdos
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08 Oct 2017, 2:40 am

hale_bopp wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ That's a sexual harrassement.


Yeah it’s pretty creepy. It more like sexual assault. It’s not normal. It’s enough for someone to get a restraining order against you.


Who said anything about NDs being normal? :mrgreen:

Still, stealing a kiss is not my favourite. I could steal a lot of looks, and I think many NTs feel that is creepy too, but I really don't care, at least not if the girl reciprocates.



rdos
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08 Oct 2017, 2:50 am

On the topic of rejection, I really hate that. Some people feel rejection is part of life, but that's just NT talk. Rejection and competition is certainly a huge part of NTs innate behavior, but it doesn't mean it is a natural part of NDs, or that we should copy their behavior.

If somebody uses an NT approach to try to hook-up with me, I'll either not notice it or ignore it. That's not rejection since they are breaking the rules for proper ND courtship. When it comes to real rejection, I only think I experienced that once (in my early teenage), and I suppose that experience made me cautious enough so it would not happen again. I've never been the one that rejects either, rather I "fall-back" to polyamory instead. Typically, most girls will lose interest when they notice I play it the polyamory way rather than possibly getting an exclusive interest in them.



hurtloam
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08 Oct 2017, 3:07 am

ShyGirl7 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
"Ghosting" is basically ignoring the person who is trying to communicate with you. The ghoster acts like they don't exist and can't see your communication.

I don't see a difference between "taking a break" and "ghosting".

As I said in the other thread. I will reply to people I'm not even that keen on in a friendship context, so I don't understand being rude and ignoring a person trying to get in touch with someone else.

I suppose if I sensed that a guy had a romantic interest in me and he kept on messaging me I wouldn't know how best to deal with that if I wasn't interested, but that's never happened to me. So I can't truthfully say whether I would start ignoring messages so that he would get the point.

I think I'd only do it if I felt I had to.

But that's just how I would react. Doesn't mean other people would do the same.


What if you were interested but didn't know how to respond?

Would you be ghosting?


Yes. Because you're acting like you don't exist and can't respond.



The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Oct 2017, 4:01 am

No one "doesn't know how to respond".

This is a plain stupid excuse.