“Will I finally have a relationship this year?”

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Marknis
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31 May 2021, 8:19 am

At the beginning of every year since I turned 17, it always starts with me wondering “Will I finally have a relationship this year?” and it will stay on my mind. Besides one year, the year usually ends with me feeling despondent it didn’t happen and I already dread the coming year.



Marknis
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31 May 2021, 8:47 pm

My 33rd birthday is coming and nothing is getting better.



Marknis
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01 Jun 2021, 12:10 pm

I thought I was going to get ripped apart for this topic.



Aspie1
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01 Jun 2021, 6:52 pm

You have a long history of saying you want a girlfriend. But you never told us why specifically you want a girlfriend. What's your end goal?

Is it wanting to feel loved, without really caring by whom?

Is it for sex and other physical intimacies? (kissing, fondling, etc.)

Is it to have a guaranteed date for events that require one, like fancy galas?

Is it to have an opposite-sex activity partner for social and entertainment outings?

Is it simply to be able to tell people around you that you have a girlfriend?

It it to prove to yourself than you can actually get a girlfriend?

Is it something else I didn't mention or forgot about?

Don't forget: all reasons are valid, and equally valid at that. Well, maybe not the "tell people" one; it wouldn't be fair to her to put her in a role of your "validation checkmark". So, it's in your best interests to figure out for yourself why exactly you want a girlfriend. Then you'll be better able to find the kind of girlfriend you're actually looking for.

Another thing: How important are your girlfriend's looks to you? Do you want to be able to feel proud of being seen with her in public? Or conversely, how do you feel about checking maps to avoid neighborhoods where people you know might see you with her? Are you OK with dating any woman who shows interest in you regardless of how she looks, as long as she likes you? Keep in mind that the willingness doesn't make you "woke", non-shallow, or a better person. It's simply a compromise you consciously make in regards to knowing your limitations in attracting women.



Marknis
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02 Jun 2021, 2:18 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
You have a long history of saying you want a girlfriend. But you never told us why specifically you want a girlfriend. What's your end goal?

Is it wanting to feel loved, without really caring by whom?

Is it for sex and other physical intimacies? (kissing, fondling, etc.)

Is it to have a guaranteed date for events that require one, like fancy galas?

Is it to have an opposite-sex activity partner for social and entertainment outings?

Is it simply to be able to tell people around you that you have a girlfriend?

It it to prove to yourself than you can actually get a girlfriend?

Is it something else I didn't mention or forgot about?

Don't forget: all reasons are valid, and equally valid at that. Well, maybe not the "tell people" one; it wouldn't be fair to her to put her in a role of your "validation checkmark". So, it's in your best interests to figure out for yourself why exactly you want a girlfriend. Then you'll be better able to find the kind of girlfriend you're actually looking for.

Another thing: How important are your girlfriend's looks to you? Do you want to be able to feel proud of being seen with her in public? Or conversely, how do you feel about checking maps to avoid neighborhoods where people you know might see you with her? Are you OK with dating any woman who shows interest in you regardless of how she looks, as long as she likes you? Keep in mind that the willingness doesn't make you "woke", non-shallow, or a better person. It's simply a compromise you consciously make in regards to knowing your limitations in attracting women.


I don’t want just anyone to be my girlfriend. If I did, I would’ve settled a long time ago.

I have cravings for physical, emotional, and sexual intimacy.

More like going to family functions and certain events like music shows and entertainment conventions.

Yes.

No. It’s more like wanting to say “Yes” to certain questions instead of “No” all the time.

No.

I also want someone to travel with so neither of us would be lonely.

The looks part is difficult to answer. I’ll just say I am not attracted to women who are morbidly obese nor anorexic. My first real girlfriend was chubby and I loved her. It had nothing to do with “woke” because I simply don’t care about that stuff. I just found her attractive the way she was.



Last edited by Marknis on 02 Jun 2021, 2:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Juliette
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02 Jun 2021, 2:36 pm

Hey Mark :) I thought of you today when I saw this ...

Image



Aspie1
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02 Jun 2021, 3:17 pm

Juliette wrote:
Hey Mark :) I thought of you today when I saw this ...

Image
This is good in principle, but your timing is abysmal. Feel-good messages like this are one of the worst things you can say to man in a situation like Marknis's. They come off as virtue-signaling at best, and as mockery at worst. Especially when said by a woman. (Sorry.)



Marknis
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02 Jun 2021, 3:43 pm

Juliette wrote:
Hey Mark :) I thought of you today when I saw this ...

Image


Thank you, Juliette. You are always kind to me.

I’ve been told to follow “Mark’s plan” by a friend.



SportsGamer35728
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02 Jun 2021, 3:47 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
Juliette wrote:
Hey Mark :) I thought of you today when I saw this ...

Image
This is good in principle, but your timing is abysmal. Feel-good messages like this are one of the worst things you can say to man in a situation like Marknis's. They come off as virtue-signaling at best, and as mockery at worst. Especially when said by a woman. (Sorry.)

Unfortunately, this is very true. I had a great time at this event in downtown Buffalo last night, yet a sliver of me wondered just how much more fun it would've been with a beautiful girlfriend next to me :P
Image



Juliette
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02 Jun 2021, 4:00 pm

Sorry guys ... hope you all find what you’re looking for. Sportsgamer, that event you were at last night looks amazing! I was sports mad in Australia!



Marknis
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02 Jun 2021, 4:05 pm

Juliette wrote:
Sorry guys ... hope you all find what you’re looking for. Sportsgamer, that event you were at last night looks amazing! I was sports mad in Australia!


Don’t worry, Juliette. You didn’t hurt my feelings at all. I don’t find what you say as virtue signaling or mockery. Those things don’t cross my mind at all.



Juliette
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02 Jun 2021, 4:07 pm

Thanks Mark. I genuinely wish the best for you.



Marknis
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02 Jun 2021, 5:02 pm

Thank you, Juliette. I am happy you are kind to me and don’t tear me down like people in my regular life tend to do.



SportsGamer35728
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03 Jun 2021, 6:38 am

Juliette wrote:
Sorry guys ... hope you all find what you’re looking for. Sportsgamer, that event you were at last night looks amazing! I was sports mad in Australia!

Thanks :) Although I have to say it's super frustrating that the women that are most interested in attending sporting events tend to get snapped up by NTs before us Aspies get a chance with them :P



Marknis
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03 Jun 2021, 1:37 pm

Most women, regardless of their race and ethnicity (With two exceptions), generally want a man who is Christian. That’s been a major barrier for me. That’s also why someone like Ted Nugent can get into relationships despite being an aggressive jerk.

Indian and Middle Eastern women in my area tend to only want to be with Hindu and Muslim men respectively. It doesn’t help that the former tend to have arranged marriages.



AnonymousAnonymous
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03 Jun 2021, 3:46 pm

I want to see you to be in a relationship, Brother Marknis.

But like I mentioned in another thread, let love find you instead of vice-versa.


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