Should I feel sexually guilty if I want to hook up?

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ironpony
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21 May 2021, 12:48 am

I was raised in a Christian household, but since I am autistic, I have had trouble in past relationship attempts and I don't think I will ever find a wife or long significant other partner it seems. But I feel lonely, sometimes and it manifests itself sexually, and I feel like I want to get laid sometimes, or even just spend the night with a woman. So I will go out and do that, but I feel guilty, because of how I was raised. Should I though, or if I have trouble forming relationships, should I have an exception to the rule there? Or no do you think?



funeralxempire
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21 May 2021, 1:04 am

No, needing social contact is normal and needing physical gratification is normal. As long as you're not harming or exploiting anyone you shouldn't feel guilty.


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The_Znof
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21 May 2021, 1:09 am

No advice here, [yet anyway] just sharing a similar story.

I would prefer a relationship, but being unemployed with brutal social skills makes it tough.

So I probably would try to hook up, but I’m just too awkward and shy.

Now I’m a 52 yo fading flower, losing hope for finding a wife, and go through periods where I contemplate going to escorts, before I get ugly.

It’s strange I can’t afford a wife, but can afford a 250 dollar an hour Prostitute every 2-4 weeks



IsabellaLinton
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21 May 2021, 1:12 am

No guilt required. Just please make sure that's it's a consensual hookup, and that you take precautions.

I know that's likely obvious, but I hate hearing about men who are accused of assault etc., when they thought it was going to be a casual encounter.



ironpony
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21 May 2021, 1:16 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
No guilt required. Just please make sure that's it's a consensual hookup, and that you take precautions.

I know that's likely obvious, but I hate hearing about men who are accused of assault etc., when they thought it was going to be a casual encounter.


Oh okay for sure, I don't think that has ever happened where the other person thought that, or I hope not!



IsabellaLinton
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21 May 2021, 1:25 am

The_Znof wrote:
No advice here, [yet anyway] just sharing a similar story.

I would prefer a relationship, but being unemployed with brutal social skills makes it tough.

So I probably would try to hook up, but I’m just too awkward and shy.

Now I’m a 52 yo fading flower, losing hope for finding a wife, and go through periods where I contemplate going to escorts, before I get ugly.

It’s strange I can’t afford a wife, but can afford a 250 dollar an hour Prostitute every 2-4 weeks


Totally random question here, but is prostitution allowed during lockdowns?

Are sex workers considered an essential service?

I hadn't thought of that angle before. Where I am people can't even see their partners, let alone touch.



kraftiekortie
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21 May 2021, 9:24 pm

What Isabella said. No guilt. But take precautions.

My personal view on “hookups”: I’d rather stay home and fantasize than just have sex with someone just for a “hookup.”

I had “hookups” when I was younger. They almost always depressed me.



IsabellaLinton
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21 May 2021, 10:08 pm

I was going to say "I've never hooked". But then I realised it sounded like a pun in this context. 8O



kraftiekortie
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21 May 2021, 10:13 pm

You’re not missing anything...trust me!



cyberdad
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22 May 2021, 12:19 am

ironpony wrote:
I was raised in a Christian household, but since I am autistic, I have had trouble in past relationship attempts and I don't think I will ever find a wife or long significant other partner it seems. But I feel lonely, sometimes and it manifests itself sexually, and I feel like I want to get laid sometimes, or even just spend the night with a woman. So I will go out and do that, but I feel guilty, because of how I was raised. Should I though, or if I have trouble forming relationships, should I have an exception to the rule there? Or no do you think?


I also grew up in a semi-religious household and my parent's brainwashing prevented me from a healthy sex life when I was in my prime. While you have the opportunity enjoy yourself. In this age the prospects of having sex (put aside COVID) are actually much easier than when I was younger as you have apps that help you find potential hook-up partners in your neighborhood,

But I agree with Kraftie and Isabella that you should exercise some caution



Minervx_2
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22 May 2021, 11:08 am

You shouldn't feel guilty at all.

There is no one-size fits all approach to Christianity (or religion in general). Lots of people have different interpretations of religion and what their lifestyle should be. Having casual sex doesn't make you any less of a Christian. There are millions of Christians who hookup.

And you don't necessarily need to adhere to something just because you were raised that way. People's needs and preferences change. As an adult, you are free to make your own decisions. Your parents may have guided you and left some sort of blueprint, but once you're an adult, you don't have live life the exact way they do.

There is nothing wrong with a hookup as long as there's honesty, consent and respect.



The_Znof
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22 May 2021, 1:27 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
The_Znof wrote:
No advice here, [yet anyway] just sharing a similar story.

I would prefer a relationship, but being unemployed with brutal social skills makes it tough.

So I probably would try to hook up, but I’m just too awkward and shy.

Now I’m a 52 yo fading flower, losing hope for finding a wife, and go through periods where I contemplate going to escorts, before I get ugly.

It’s strange I can’t afford a wife, but can afford a 250 dollar an hour Prostitute every 2-4 weeks


Totally random question here, but is prostitution allowed during lockdowns?

Are sex workers considered an essential service?

I hadn't thought of that angle before. Where I am people can't even see their partners, let alone touch.


In Canada prostitution is illegal, but its largely decriminalized in Vancouver.

Even if it was considered essential, I doubt it would be allowed to operate due to the touching aspect.

Btw Im glad the liquor and the reefer and the shrooms are considered essential here. :oops:

kraftiekortie wrote:
You’re not missing anything...trust me!


speak for yourself!

[justs kidding] :)



ironpony
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22 May 2021, 1:36 pm

The_Znof wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
The_Znof wrote:
No advice here, [yet anyway] just sharing a similar story.

I would prefer a relationship, but being unemployed with brutal social skills makes it tough.

So I probably would try to hook up, but I’m just too awkward and shy.

Now I’m a 52 yo fading flower, losing hope for finding a wife, and go through periods where I contemplate going to escorts, before I get ugly.

It’s strange I can’t afford a wife, but can afford a 250 dollar an hour Prostitute every 2-4 weeks


Totally random question here, but is prostitution allowed during lockdowns?

Are sex workers considered an essential service?

I hadn't thought of that angle before. Where I am people can't even see their partners, let alone touch.


In Canada prostitution is illegal, but its largely decriminalized in Vancouver.

Even if it was considered essential, I doubt it would be allowed to operate due to the touching aspect.

Btw Im glad the liquor and the reefer and the shrooms are considered essential here. :oops:

kraftiekortie wrote:
You’re not missing anything...trust me!


speak for yourself!

[justs kidding] :)


What do you mean by the touching aspect?



The_Znof
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22 May 2021, 3:25 pm

If a sex worker caught covid, there would be a lot of opportunity for it to spread via touching customers.



cyberdad
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22 May 2021, 8:18 pm

In Australia we have no more community transmission (only hotel quarantine for returning travellers) so restrictions have been mostly lifted but many customers are choosing not to go as they are forced to register their presence at brothels. Married men and men in relationships are the biggest customers and none of them want to be tracked.

Secondly I think the 1m rule applies so the girls might choose to wear masks which I'm guessing is a big turnoff.



funeralxempire
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22 May 2021, 8:25 pm

cyberdad wrote:
In Australia we have no more community transmission (only hotel quarantine for returning travellers) so restrictions have been mostly lifted but many customers are choosing not to go as they are forced to register their presence at brothels. Married men and men in relationships are the biggest customers and none of them want to be tracked.

Secondly I think the 1m rule applies so the girls might choose to wear masks which I'm guessing is a big turnoff.


Jablowski + mask = huh?


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the problem with capitalism is that eventually you run out of other people's resources and cheap labour to exploit
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う