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angelofdarkness
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09 Jun 2021, 11:07 pm

My ex and I are kinda on friendly terms again so we message each other here and there. He's been wanting to hang out on weekends if j wasnt busy, but I haven't had time. We were messaging a bit the other night, and he randomly apologized how he felt he didn't do the right thing with me at the time, and felt bad. We kinda just discussed how it was a bad time things didnt work out. He offered did I want to hang this weekend do whatever. We've been discussing colleges and some things like that too. He commented I seemed like a nice well rounded girl


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browneyedgirlslowingdown
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09 Jun 2021, 11:18 pm

He sounds lonely. Like he needs attention and interaction. I would tread lightly if he hurt you previously. Good luck.


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Fnord
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10 Jun 2021, 8:09 am

He seems horny.  Like he wants to have sex really bad.  I would run away, unless you are into that sort of thing. Good luck.



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10 Jun 2021, 8:44 am

Unless you want him back as a lover/boyfriend, I wouldn't get too involved with talking with this guy.

He's probably remorseful----and he just might be a decent guy---but there's always the possibility that once you get serious with him again, that the vicious cycle will perpetuate itself.



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10 Jun 2021, 7:56 pm

We don't know why this relationship ended, but men and women that age usually break up for silly reasons, and without knowing anything specific I would assume they should try to get back together. Assuming it's all about him wanting sex, in fact she said nothing about that, is arguably naïve. Besides, why must we automatically assume he wants sex more than she does?


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Redd_Kross
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10 Jun 2021, 8:21 pm

Sounds like they'd be interested in getting back together with you.

Whether that's wise depends on whether you've both changed enough that it could work now. Or whether you'll simply drop back into the same old behaviours that made you split up in the first place.



angelofdarkness
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10 Jun 2021, 8:23 pm

MaxE wrote:
We don't know why this relationship ended, but men and women that age usually break up for silly reasons, and without knowing anything specific I would assume they should try to get back together. Assuming it's all about him wanting sex, in fact she said nothing about that, is arguably naïve. Besides, why must we automatically assume he wants sex more than she does?


We pretty much broke cause there was so much going on for us both, that we didn't feel there was much a future. I had so much going on between working two jobs and personal stuff, he was working over time. It was just hard to see each other. We kinda broke up on good terms cuase we didn't feel there was much a spark at the time. He messaged me apologising the other night for what happened and I just agreed it was a bad time for a relationship at the time. We just kinda have been talking might hang out


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10 Jun 2021, 8:47 pm

angelofdarkness wrote:
MaxE wrote:
We don't know why this relationship ended, but men and women that age usually break up for silly reasons, and without knowing anything specific I would assume they should try to get back together. Assuming it's all about him wanting sex, in fact she said nothing about that, is arguably naïve. Besides, why must we automatically assume he wants sex more than she does?


We pretty much broke cause there was so much going on for us both, that we didn't feel there was much a future. I had so much going on between working two jobs and personal stuff, he was working over time. It was just hard to see each other. We kinda broke up on good terms cuase we didn't feel there was much a spark at the time. He messaged me apologising the other night for what happened and I just agreed it was a bad time for a relationship at the time. We just kinda have been talking might hang out


In that case, see how things unfold.


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kraftiekortie
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10 Jun 2021, 9:32 pm

Yep. Let’s see how this unfolds :)



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11 Jun 2021, 9:41 am

It's been said on this forum more than a few times that when a woman rejects a guy claiming she's too busy, it really means that she is too busy for him specially. If she was interested in him & found him attractive she would make the time for him is what people say. Seems like that argument might could apply to both of you here OP. I'm wondering if something happened that caused you & him to suddenly find each other attractive like getting in shape & making some clothing style changes for example. Or maybe you are both feeling very lonely rite now for some reason. I'm NOT saying that a relationship can not work out but it would be helpful for you both to figure out why things might be different now besides the being less busy part.


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angelofdarkness
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11 Jun 2021, 3:49 pm

nick007 wrote:
It's been said on this forum more than a few times that when a woman rejects a guy claiming she's too busy, it really means that she is too busy for him specially. If she was interested in him & found him attractive she would make the time for him is what people say. Seems like that argument might could apply to both of you here OP. I'm wondering if something happened that caused you & him to suddenly find each other attractive like getting in shape & making some clothing style changes for example. Or maybe you are both feeling very lonely rite now for some reason. I'm NOT saying that a relationship can not work out but it would be helpful for you both to figure out why things might be different now besides the being less busy part.


Not a clue in the slightest we're just talking and might hang out


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Mona Pereth
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14 Jun 2021, 5:30 pm

nick007 wrote:
It's been said on this forum more than a few times that when a woman rejects a guy claiming she's too busy, it really means that she is too busy for him specially. If she was interested in him & found him attractive she would make the time for him is what people say. Seems like that argument might could apply to both of you here OP. I'm wondering if something happened that caused you & him to suddenly find each other attractive like getting in shape & making some clothing style changes for example. Or maybe you are both feeling very lonely rite now for some reason. I'm NOT saying that a relationship can not work out but it would be helpful for you both to figure out why things might be different now besides the being less busy part.

Don't dismiss being busy as a possible genuine reason. Someone who is working two jobs, for example, really doesn't have much if any time or energy left over.


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angelofdarkness
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15 Jun 2021, 5:00 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
nick007 wrote:
It's been said on this forum more than a few times that when a woman rejects a guy claiming she's too busy, it really means that she is too busy for him specially. If she was interested in him & found him attractive she would make the time for him is what people say. Seems like that argument might could apply to both of you here OP. I'm wondering if something happened that caused you & him to suddenly find each other attractive like getting in shape & making some clothing style changes for example. Or maybe you are both feeling very lonely rite now for some reason. I'm NOT saying that a relationship can not work out but it would be helpful for you both to figure out why things might be different now besides the being less busy part.

Don't dismiss being busy as a possible genuine reason. Someone who is working two jobs, for example, really doesn't have much if any time or energy left over.


Exactly I was so exhausted at the time it was so hard to get anything done even laundry


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kraftiekortie
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15 Jun 2021, 5:04 pm

Indeed, people can be genuinely busy----but "being busy" IS often used as an excuse not to want to date or hang out with someone.

And that's okay with me. I find this is "the way of the world."

Women have to be careful, sometimes, when it comes to men being rejected by them. Some men don't take rejection all that well.



nick007
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15 Jun 2021, 9:03 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Indeed, people can be genuinely busy----but "being busy" IS often used as an excuse not to want to date or hang out with someone.

And that's okay with me. I find this is "the way of the world."

Women have to be careful, sometimes, when it comes to men being rejected by them. Some men don't take rejection all that well.
I get what you mean. The "being busy" excuse does not work well for Aspies like me though. I interpreted that phrase as them being genuinely busy & I would ask them again or suggest different days to do stuff. I really am that clueless sometimes. Things would of been better for both of us if they woulda been more straightforward & direct when rejecting me. I woulda felt bad about being rejected but at least I woulda dropped it & moved on instead of contiuing to make a d@mn fool of myself & bothering her. Or they coulda mentioned doing something with a boyfriend if they didn't have one & that woulda worked to. How the hell am I supposed to know the difference between a BS excuse & someone telling the truth when both are theoredically quite posible :?: I might as well reach in my pocket & pull out a quarter & toss it in the air to decide which case it really is.


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16 Jun 2021, 7:45 pm

Why doesn't he simply say that he misses you and wants to get back together?