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Muse933277
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13 Jun 2021, 11:20 pm

If you're white, consider looking for a girlfriend/a wife in The Philippines. Before you write me this suggestion off, i'll tell you why you should consider looking for love in The Philippines.


For one thing, most filipinas speak good english because it's taught in their education systems. If you try to look for love in Mexico or in latin america, unless you speak Spanish, it's going to be very hard to communicate with local girls and find someone to date. This isn't a problem in The Philippines at all.

Secondly, filipinas tend to be very religious, family oriented, and loyal. In filipino culture, family is very important to them, along with starting a family of their own which is a quality that is often ideal in a wife. If you're looking for a religious family oriented girl, then you'll find plenty of women like that in this country.

Filipinas are very open to dating foreigners, ESPECIALLY if the man has white skin. White skin is considered to be very attractive in The Philippines is the main beauty standard in that country. If you're a white guy, you shouldn't have much difficulty with finding someone to date.


Finally, age gap doesn't matter as much to Filipina girls. You can be 40+ dating a woman who's 21 and it's not considered weird at all.



The best way to meet filipina girls is through online dating such as FilipinoCupid or DateinAsia. You won't have much difficulty with getting matches and messages because unlike in the west, you'll actually get women who are willing to chat and respond to you.


BUT, if you go this route, you should beware of scammers and dishonest women. NEVER under any circumstances send money to a woman; even if you've been dating her for a while and have become exclusive. Also, don't become exclusive with a girl until you've actually audio and video chatted with her because this will determine whether or not she's a fake. Finally, avoid women who live in Angeles City as most women who live in this area are prostitutes since the whole city is just one giant brothel.



DW_a_mom
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14 Jun 2021, 4:43 am

cyberdad wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
That's not the point. I like kids. I want to have a family where I can watch my children grow. I don't mind investing.


This is actually a valid point. I was in my mid 30s when I got married and this was certainly a driving force (plus pushy parents) for me to settle down.

Once women get past 35 their biological clock winds down. I feel for you as women past 40 there's little chance for having a kid.

I think you need to look at traditional cultures (rather than Americans) for a potential partner as there's plenty of cultures where 25yr old girls will be willingly to marry a 40 year old man.


Hey, I had my daughter a few months shy of 42. No problems, nothing extra to do. I have many friends who had children at similar ages, although some did need a little help from science.

Being older helped me deal with common kid phases and stages more easily, I think; I'd already matured out of many silly expectations and assumptions that can get in the way of younger parents. And I'd had the chance to watch friends go through it all and see the breathe of how things go, so it was easier for me to understand at my core that certain phases had zero to do with me - which helps keep that unruffled demeanor you need with tantrums and teenagers.

The biggest issue having kids so late is financial: you are paying for college just as you are trying to slow down and work less and need to beef up the retirement savings.


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14 Jun 2021, 4:56 am

dorkseid wrote:
I wouldn't call it a phobia. But I never got to date young women when I was younger, and now I feel like I missed out on that forever and I hate that. I noticed that every woman I've felt attracted to in the past 5 years or so has been at least 10 years younger than me. I was 18 when my mother was my age, and the idea of going from never having any children to getting involved with the parent of a legal adult really weirds me out.


It is human nature to be wistful about opportunities you never had, but what people think they've missed is rarely very realistic. Don't let yourself get hung up on that.

I personally don't feel you missed out on anything great. I can't speak for other people, but I was rather difficult with men when I was younger. Not intentionally, but I was just so clueless. I was also at war with myself over I believed v. what I wanted or thought I wanted. I look back and realize I confused the heck out of the men I dated. And NOT in a "good," mysterious way. More like a train wreck with their feelings. Growing older and wiser was pretty essential for me and many of my friends.

Perhaps your person simply hasn't gained enough life experience to be the partner you need, just like you have things to sort through in order to be the partner she will need.

I also looked my absolute best in my thirties, not in my twenties and not in my teens. Finding a woman in her thirties wouldn't be a stretch for a man your age.

Attraction is something that can grow as you get to know someone. It is better not to be overly focused on the initial spark of lust. That sort of attraction has led many, many people into bad choices.


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dorkseid
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14 Jun 2021, 6:20 am

cyberdad wrote:

I would start with looking for girls who are first generation immigrants where you live. Do you have a preference? pick a culture, eastern European girls for example are marriage focused.


Muse933277 wrote:

Secondly, filipinas tend to be very religious, family oriented, and loyal. In filipino culture, family is very important to them, along with starting a family of their own which is a quality that is often ideal in a wife. If you're looking for a religious family oriented girl, then you'll find plenty of women like that in this country.



I'm not in a rush to get married. I'd need to know a woman intimately for at least 2 years before I'd be ready to even think about marriage, especially after my experiences with my ex. Which is one more reason why I feel anxious about dating at my age.

And as an atheist, I actually want to avoid women who are religious.

Double Retired wrote:

By my estimation guys have biological clocks, too. No man should have a child after they are 40 because (do the math) no 60-year old man should have to live with a teenager. And, these days the environmental activists say it's wrong to have children because they would have to live through environmental catastrophe. Even without that consideration, just because Society expects you to have children (with the personal and financial disruption that comes with them) doesn't make it compulsory. (Ask George Washington's kids.)


I don't have any particular desire to have children biologically. The more I thought about, the more I think I would rather adopt or raise my partner's children for the reasons you mentioned. But in either case I still want to know while they are still little, rather than meeting them when they're already teenagers or older.



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14 Jun 2021, 7:07 am

I've been watching adult videos featuring women I find extremely attractive. But even then, regardless of how much I try, I just can't get things to work.



kraftiekortie
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14 Jun 2021, 8:13 am

I know a woman who had twins at age 55. She’s a very attractive Latina. Still quite attractive at age 68. She married a man about 15 years younger than her. He’s a Caucasian.

She’s a college professor and a speech pathologist who treats severely autistic kids. He does exactly the same thing Dorkseid does.



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14 Jun 2021, 9:09 am

cyberdad wrote:
I think you need to look at traditional cultures (rather than Americans) for a potential partner as there's plenty of cultures where 25yr old girls will be willingly to marry a 40 year old man.


So why is there a connection between culture and willingness to date older men? Is there a sociological explanation for that?



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14 Jun 2021, 9:09 am

If a man is looking to date significantly younger women, he may find the dating market to be somewhat... demanding.

People may have different experiences, but based on my home country (Denmark), young women who date significantly older men often tend to go for men who are both emotionally *and* financially self-sufficient. This usually requires one to have mature interests, a well-paid and interesting job, their own home and (in many places) their own car.

The specifics may vary from country to country, but from the woman's perspective, something would likely often need to "justify" a large age disparity (15-20 years, for instance) between her and her partner.

Otherwise, why didn't she just choose to date someone in her same age group (and thus often the same social circle she is already part of)?

Additionally, large age discrepancies in partnerships are no longer as mainstream as they used to be (at least in the West), and they often arose historically exactly because a man was expected to be "established" (=have money) before he could marry. So this is likely also the expectation quite a lot of men would be met with if they decide to go looking for a younger woman as a romantic partner.

This is not set in stone, of course, and there are obviously more genuinely romantic exceptions... but finding someone to date who is significantly younger than you could be even more difficult than finding someone in your own age group because of the assumptions - implicit or explicit - underlying many such partnerships.



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14 Jun 2021, 11:28 am

GGPViper wrote:
People may have different experiences, but based on my home country (Denmark), young women who date significantly older men often tend to go for men who are both emotionally *and* financially self-sufficient. This usually requires one to have mature interests, a well-paid and interesting job, their own home and (in many places) their own car.
There are a bit of American women who get involved with guys who are a lot older than them & some of those guys are real losers who take advantage of the women. A lot of those women with loser majorly older guys come from broken homes though or they have various issues they're dealing with


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14 Jun 2021, 12:52 pm

So basically I missed on, and now I'm too old. That's what I've been saying all along.



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14 Jun 2021, 1:30 pm

Only if you refuse to date any woman over 25.

Men under 6 feet tall aren't useless, and women over 25 years of age aren't useless.


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14 Jun 2021, 1:54 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
Only if you refuse to date any woman over 25.

Men under 6 feet tall aren't useless, and women over 25 years of age aren't useless.


Are you saying that women in the late 20-s is still an option?



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14 Jun 2021, 1:57 pm

Any woman of the legal age of consent is an option.


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14 Jun 2021, 1:59 pm

nick007 wrote:
GGPViper wrote:
People may have different experiences, but based on my home country (Denmark), young women who date significantly older men often tend to go for men who are both emotionally *and* financially self-sufficient. This usually requires one to have mature interests, a well-paid and interesting job, their own home and (in many places) their own car.
There are a bit of American women who get involved with guys who are a lot older than them & some of those guys are real losers who take advantage of the women. A lot of those women with loser majorly older guys come from broken homes though or they have various issues they're dealing with


That still leaves two questions:

1) Why is it that American women have to be emotionally disturbed in order to be willing to do it?

2) Since in other cultures that’s not the case, what is it about American culture that makes it the case in America?



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14 Jun 2021, 2:03 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
Any woman of the legal age of consent is an option.


Legal age is 18, but you mentioned 25. So you weren’t talking about legality, you were talking about a woman actually being interested. So were you saying that while 23 year old won’t be interested in 40 year old, the 27 year old might be?



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14 Jun 2021, 2:09 pm

QFT wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
Any woman of the legal age of consent is an option.


Legal age is 18, but you mentioned 25. So you weren’t talking about legality, you were talking about a woman actually being interested. So were you saying that while 23 year old won’t be interested in 40 year old, the 27 year old might be?


I didn't say anything even remotely close to that.


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