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QFT
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14 Jun 2021, 2:13 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
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XFilesGeek wrote:
Any woman of the legal age of consent is an option.


Legal age is 18, but you mentioned 25. So you weren’t talking about legality, you were talking about a woman actually being interested. So were you saying that while 23 year old won’t be interested in 40 year old, the 27 year old might be?


I didn't say anything even remotely close to that.


You said "Only if you refuse to date any woman over 25". This implies that women over 25 might be interested in the OP, who is nearly 40.

Note you didn't say 30, you said 25. Thats what made it seem like you were implying that women in the late 20s might still be interested in him.



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14 Jun 2021, 2:20 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
Only if you refuse to date any woman over 25.

Men under 6 feet tall aren't useless, and women over 25 years of age aren't useless.


I don't refuse to date women over 25. I just don't want to date women who are 10-15 years over 25, which is a big a difference. In fact, anyone under 25 is too young for me.



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14 Jun 2021, 2:31 pm

I didn't bother to read the whole thread. I find it funny that you would reject women your own age (25+15=40), yet you worry you are running out of time.

Beggars can't be choosers.


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14 Jun 2021, 2:33 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
I didn't bother to read the whole thread. I find it funny that you would reject women your own age (25+15=40), yet you worry you are running out of time.

Beggars can't be choosers.


The point is that I hate being in that position. I missed out when I was younger, and now I'm too old and it's too late.



XFilesGeek
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14 Jun 2021, 3:22 pm

dorkseid wrote:
BeaArthur wrote:
I didn't bother to read the whole thread. I find it funny that you would reject women your own age (25+15=40), yet you worry you are running out of time.

Beggars can't be choosers.


The point is that I hate being in that position. I missed out when I was younger, and now I'm too old and it's too late.


There's nothing wrong with women your own age. You can still have a relationship, just maybe not with a woman in her 20s.

If you decide that you can't ever have a successful dating life because you weren't successful in your younger years, fine, but then you only have yourself to blame for your loneliness.


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14 Jun 2021, 4:36 pm

I've already explained this a hundred time:

Women my age typically have kids who are 17-18 years old. I was 18 when my mother was my age. The idea of going from never having children to being involved with the parent of a legal adult seriously freaks me out. I'm basically a 40-year-old man-child who likes comic books and action figures and who's practically a virgin. A woman who has been dealing with the responsibility of being a parent for nearly half her life is so far removed from where I am in life that we could never relate to each other or connect on an intimate level. A woman my age will already have kids that are mostly grown up and won't want any more, which means I would never get to experience being with them as they grow up. I'd never get to enjoy being there with them when they are little. That's the problem.



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14 Jun 2021, 4:53 pm

I don't have kids, either. I'm 60 years old. I've had many women who have kids.

I guess I'm sort of a "man-child" in a way......



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14 Jun 2021, 5:30 pm

dorkseid, If you marry a woman who has adult children...any thoughts on the benefits of being a good grandfather? From what I've seen in my family, these days the grandparents are often involved with child-raising. One of my sisters seems to be running a daycare center for her grandchildren and great grandchildren so the parents can work without having to pay huge daycare bills.


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14 Jun 2021, 5:48 pm

dorkseid wrote:
I've already explained this a hundred time:

Women my age typically have kids who are 17-18 years old.

Typically. But not all.

Also, whether this is even "typical" varies a lot by region and culture.

There are a lot of women (especially women pursuing higher education or careers) who don't start having kids until their late twenties or early thirties.


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kraftiekortie
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14 Jun 2021, 6:30 pm

Or even later.

I know a lady professor who had her first kids (twins) at age 55.



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14 Jun 2021, 8:29 pm

I have the same regrets to the ones dorkseid described. In fact, what he wrote are my thought verbatim.

Now, I don't know about him, but in my case it is important to have *biological* children. Thats because I want to have my genes passed, as I don't want my genetic line to die out. So raising children/grandchildren that are not biologically mine just doesn't cut it.

Apart from that, as a Christian, I believe that marrying a woman who was divorced is tantamount to adultery (Matt 5:32) So even if the woman is without kids and is willing to have biological kids with me, if she used to be married in the past thats a deal breaker. Similarly, if a woman does have kids it would be deal breakter too (regardless of whether she was married or not).

I think dorkseid is different from me at least when it comes to the Christian aspect. He said he is an atheist. I have no idea whether he wants to continue his genetic line though. So I dunno, perhaps his situation is slightly easier than mine due to those two things. But other than that I can very much relate to what he is saying.



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14 Jun 2021, 9:18 pm

dorkseid wrote:
I've already explained this a hundred time:

Women my age typically have kids who are 17-18 years old. I was 18 when my mother was my age. The idea of going from never having children to being involved with the parent of a legal adult seriously freaks me out. I'm basically a 40-year-old man-child who likes comic books and action figures and who's practically a virgin. A woman who has been dealing with the responsibility of being a parent for nearly half her life is so far removed from where I am in life that we could never relate to each other or connect on an intimate level. A woman my age will already have kids that are mostly grown up and won't want any more, which means I would never get to experience being with them as they grow up. I'd never get to enjoy being there with them when they are little. That's the problem.


This profile is NOT typical where I live. At your age I had a brand new baby, and another a few years after.

I know plenty of women in your age group with either no children or younger children.

Even if the profile was typical, it would be foolish to run your life by “typical” instead of getting to know the situation of each person.

Remember what I said about putting your own road blocks into your own path? It seems to be much easier to subconsciously block ourselves than it is to expose ourselves to the unknown of a relationship, no matter how much we believe we want a relationship. So we create all these road blocks that sound logical to us but also keep us from having to take a sincere look at our own thoughts and actions. I played that game inside my own head for almost 2 decades. It’s a crappy way to live. Stop doing it.


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Last edited by DW_a_mom on 15 Jun 2021, 12:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

DW_a_mom
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14 Jun 2021, 9:33 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
I've already explained this a hundred time:

Women my age typically have kids who are 17-18 years old.

Typically. But not all.

Also, whether this is even "typical" varies a lot by region and culture.

There are a lot of women (especially women pursuing higher education or careers) who don't start having kids until their late twenties or early thirties.



Or late thirties. First child after 35 is quite common in my circles.

I was 38 when I had my first and a few months shy of 42 when I had my second.

I’m not that big an outlier, even if this thread seems to be trying to make me out as one.


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14 Jun 2021, 11:27 pm

QFT wrote:
nick007 wrote:
GGPViper wrote:
People may have different experiences, but based on my home country (Denmark), young women who date significantly older men often tend to go for men who are both emotionally *and* financially self-sufficient. This usually requires one to have mature interests, a well-paid and interesting job, their own home and (in many places) their own car.
There are a bit of American women who get involved with guys who are a lot older than them & some of those guys are real losers who take advantage of the women. A lot of those women with loser majorly older guys come from broken homes though or they have various issues they're dealing with


That still leaves two questions:

1) Why is it that American women have to be emotionally disturbed in order to be willing to do it?

2) Since in other cultures that’s not the case, what is it about American culture that makes it the case in America?
Why would any non emotionally disturbed or disabled women chose to be involved with guys who do things like use them for financial support so the guy can spend all her hard-earned money on drugs or use her money to pay the child-support he owes other women so he can waist his money on whatever fun he wants to have :?: I can understand a relationship where the woman works & makes decent money & the guy takes care of things around the house or he's disabled & tries to compensate for it in various ways but a relationship where one person is majorly controlling & spending all the otter's hard-earned money as soon as they make it, demands sex, & being very verbally, emotionally & even physically abusive is exploitation. There is some reason why some people seek those relationships where they are constantly getting used & abused but I'm not sure why things would be so different in America compared to other places :? Maybe part of the problem here is due to lack of universal mental health care but that's just a guess.


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QFT
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14 Jun 2021, 11:35 pm

nick007 wrote:
QFT wrote:
nick007 wrote:
GGPViper wrote:
People may have different experiences, but based on my home country (Denmark), young women who date significantly older men often tend to go for men who are both emotionally *and* financially self-sufficient. This usually requires one to have mature interests, a well-paid and interesting job, their own home and (in many places) their own car.
There are a bit of American women who get involved with guys who are a lot older than them & some of those guys are real losers who take advantage of the women. A lot of those women with loser majorly older guys come from broken homes though or they have various issues they're dealing with


That still leaves two questions:

1) Why is it that American women have to be emotionally disturbed in order to be willing to do it?

2) Since in other cultures that’s not the case, what is it about American culture that makes it the case in America?
Why would any non emotionally disturbed or disabled women chose to be involved with guys who do things like use them for financial support so the guy can spend all her hard-earned money on drugs or use her money to pay the child-support he owes other women so he can waist his money on whatever fun he wants to have :?: I can understand a relationship where the woman works & makes decent money & the guy takes care of things around the house or he's disabled & tries to compensate for it in various ways but a relationship where one person is majorly controlling & spending all the otter's hard-earned money as soon as they make it, demands sex, & being very verbally, emotionally & even physically abusive is exploitation. There is some reason why some people seek those relationships where they are constantly getting used & abused but I'm not sure why things would be so different in America compared to other places :? Maybe part of the problem here is due to lack of universal mental health care but that's just a guess.


But what makes you think that any of it has to do with age? Why would they assume that an older guy would be the kind you just described?



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15 Jun 2021, 3:24 am

dorkseid wrote:
I don't have any particular desire to have children biologically. The more I thought about, the more I think I would rather adopt or raise my partner's children for the reasons you mentioned. But in either case I still want to know while they are still little, rather than meeting them when they're already teenagers or older.


You neglected to mention this little nugget dorkseid. In that case all options are open to you. Single mothers love men who want to help them raise their kiddies.