My uncle's girlfriend's daughter

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Earthbound_Alien
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27 May 2022, 6:13 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
A 22-year-old acting like a 5-year-old is not cute.

As Llama points out, she makes toxic threats. A very unhealthy situation.


she might be having problems communicating...or they don't listen or understand when she does



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27 May 2022, 6:15 am

Earthbound_Alien wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
klanka wrote:
I mean if all she wants is a bedtime story how can anyone refuse that


Yes but it isn't exactly normal for an adult to want a bedtime story so there must be more to it. It seems like she has her mum wrapped around her middle finger and wants to be infantilised, and the mum seems scared of her.


its not normal for a 46 year Old to want a rubbings either but I love having one...

it relaxes my entire nervous system

my ex found it funny as he said I went into a trance when he gave me one.

I don't scare anyone though, I just hope..


*ahem*


p.n. I don't threaten anyone, but I keep hoping lol



kraftiekortie
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27 May 2022, 6:16 am

The daughter seeks to manipulate the mother.

Wanting bedtime stories is not bad. The daughter’s threats are. The main issue is the threats, more than the child-like behavior.

She has an adult job.



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27 May 2022, 6:19 am

Joe90 wrote:
I just can't talk to other Aspies about this sort of thing because you lot always have to look at it a different way (except for Kraftie, I'm glad he answered properly). Just be judgemental and gossip about people for once in your lives, will you? It's OK to judge as long as you're not letting the person know you're judging them by bullying them or anything. So just let your hair down and be humans.


not all humans are gossips

not much surprises me when it comes to the human race ... except their reactions to things when I do them....Errrrr



Earthbound_Alien
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27 May 2022, 6:21 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
The daughter seeks to manipulate the mother.

Wanting bedtime stories is not bad. The daughter’s threats are. The main issue is the threats, more than the child-like behavior.

She has an adult job.


agreed threats are not Good, but is she having communication problems and is she using the threats as compensation?



nick007
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27 May 2022, 7:14 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
A 22-year-old acting like a 5-year-old is not cute.

As Llama points out, she makes toxic threats. A very unhealthy situation.
My girlfriend acts like a kid in various ways & I generally find it pretty cute :heart: :drunken: She does NOT make toxic threats thou which is very good because I would have a major problem dealing with that.

I'm like a kid myself in various ways & my mom often thought I was forcing her to do things for me that I was perfectly capable of doing myself. She did NOT understand how my various disabilities affect me & my mom s#cked at teaching me things. She often criticized me or I felt like she did(mom makes jokes that are hard to tell that they're jokes) & she's also a perfectionist & wants things done her way. Cass pointed out to me that when my mom's home, my dad asks mom about things he would handle just fine on his own if she wasn't there because he doesn't want to upset her by not doing it her way but she also got upset by him asking. That negativity turned me off wanting to try. I figured if mom's gonna come behind me & redo stuff anyways & complain about how I didn't do it right, I might as well save myself the time, effort & trouble & not bother trying in the 1st place. Mom called me things like manipulative, selfish, & accused me of not caring about anyone but myself, & wanting her & dad to be forced to take care of me for the rest of my life because I'm too lazy to try, & other such things. I never made threats(my mom made lots of threats about kicking me out thou) but we have both cursed each other out on MANY occasions. I'm NOT like that with Cass thou. If Cass & my mom both described me, it would sound like they were talking about different people or someone with multiple personality disorder kinda like Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde. I m kinda a different person with my mom partly because of the negativity or perceived negativity & our very volatile relationship.


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27 May 2022, 7:41 am

I don't sense communication problems along the lines of autistic-type communication problems.

I had a girlfriend who enjoyed acting like a "little girl." She used this persona to seek to manipulate me. She would make toxic threats. She had no problems communicating verbally.

I sense that this 22-year-old daughter has troubles---and perhaps she has psychological problems. But I would tend to believe that she does not have some sort of developmental disability.



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27 May 2022, 7:54 am

Earthbound_Alien wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
I just can't talk to other Aspies about this sort of thing because you lot always have to look at it a different way (except for Kraftie, I'm glad he answered properly). Just be judgemental and gossip about people for once in your lives, will you? It's OK to judge as long as you're not letting the person know you're judging them by bullying them or anything. So just let your hair down and be humans.


not all humans are gossips

not much surprises me when it comes to the human race ... except their reactions to things when I do them....Errrrr
Some people (including a lot of us Aspies) have enough our own problems to deal with without worrying about eveyone elses


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27 May 2022, 7:56 am

Perhaps it could be some sort of kinky sexual thing for her.



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27 May 2022, 9:38 am

I always read stories to my kids at bedtime, they eventuality grew out of wanting Mom cuddled up next to them reading.It was a great comfort to them when they were little.
My guess would’ve she has experienced some sort of trauma that is causing her to cling onto that particular comfort from childhood, having your Mom close and hearing her voice and feeling her warmth.Even her demands are childish in nature.
This is something the Mom and her will need to deal with in counseling.


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27 May 2022, 9:45 am

I still liked my mum to read me bedtime stories when I was 10, I would climb into her bed and she'd read me a short story. But my mum didn't mind and it was just bonding really. After all, I was still a child. I didn't really want bedtime stories any more after about age 11.

But it's a bit odd for a capable adult to demand a bedtime story - especially when the mum has company and has to go and leave guests sitting there while she has to go and see to her 22-year-old daughter like she's 5.


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kraftiekortie
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27 May 2022, 10:12 am

Funny thing:

I don't remember having stories read to me when I was a child---though it must have happened.



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27 May 2022, 6:25 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I just can't talk to other Aspies about this sort of thing because you lot always have to look at it a different way (except for Kraftie, I'm glad he answered properly). Just be judgemental and gossip about people for once in your lives, will you? It's OK to judge as long as you're not letting the person know you're judging them by bullying them or anything. So just let your hair down and be humans.


Not being judgemental and gossipy is the very thing I like about us Aspies.

Misslizard is right in mentioning counselling... it's the way forward for them both.


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28 May 2022, 5:55 am

Joe90 wrote:
But it's a bit odd for a capable adult to demand a bedtime story - especially when the mum has company and has to go and leave guests sitting there while she has to go and see to her 22-year-old daughter like she's 5.
Your right it is unusual but lots of us Aspies have usual things as well & are often immature in some ways even if some are very capable adults. Being able to handle having a job does not determine if someone can be very capable & functional & mature with other adult things.
It's not like your uncle is considering having the mom & daughter move in with him & he's coming to you cuz he has some concerns about it so it's best not to really worry about it & not get involved.


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kraftiekortie
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28 May 2022, 9:40 am

It’s the threats that are the problem….more than anything else.

If she doesn’t have a bedtime story read to her, she throws a fit. Imagine if the mother, say, refuses to lend her money?



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28 May 2022, 10:01 am

Tell the mom to tell the daughter to "get books on tape". Lol!