Guy aint rushing me for once?

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Joined: 16 Apr 2012
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 346
Location: punxsutawney, pennslyvannia

21 Jun 2022, 7:00 pm

I've gone on a total of three dates with a guy and the first two were pretty awkward how we were both anxious, even if we both had a good time. We'd text back and forth just talking about our days and whatever we could think of. Between planning our last date, he asked if we could try and video chat as it would help what "we're developing", and he expressed he's interested in me but talked himself out of things even if he could tell I wanted them. He commented we have good chemistry and had some good moments though. On our last date at the movies I went for it and held his hand since I was feeling a lot more comfortable. He intertwined his fingers with mine and occasionally would squeeze or rub my hand with his thumb. He kept leaning his head against him or putting his head on my shoulder leaving me feeling confused. He messaged me when he got home and said he had a really great time, and was glad I said the same.

never give up even if the odds are against you


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Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 29,212

27 Jun 2022, 2:59 am

On the one hand, he sounds like decent fellow. Taking a positive outlook he seems thoughtful and is mindful that you are totally comfortable with him and not nervous before making any moves. All good on that front.

Playing the devil's advocate, however, this is your third date. As a man when I was in my 20s if I was physically attracted to a girl I would make my intentions very clear on the first date by snogging the girl. I am wondering if
a. you might be giving off vibes that you want to maintain some distance?
b, he is not that physically attracted to you

Don't worry too much about either since men grow to appreciate a girl whom they want a long term relationship and the physical stuff really doesn't matter as much in the long run, Of course don't throw yourself at him either :lol:

Let things develop organically as it sounds like things are working out on the third date :D


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Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,295
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

27 Jun 2022, 6:56 am

Well I can remember not trying to "make a move" on somebody until having hung out with her 3 or 4 times, and being told she wondered what had taken me so long. Fact is, I had prior experience with girls who went out with me or even invited me to visit them, but I eventually learned they were actually hung up on somebody else they couldn't be with full time or only considered me a friend, or only went on dates with me because I paid or because they possibly didn't have much else to do at that time. One girl would let me kiss her but nothing else, and I had the impression she was a "good girl" but I learned later she hadn't been a virgin for a long time, it was just that her mother was preventing her from seeing her boyfriend. When I finally got up the nerve to try snogging the girl I referred to in my opening sentence, her response was to start rubbing my crotch. It's possible she would have had sex with me the evening we first met, had I made a move. She did have a history of enjoying sex outside of established relationships so the fact that she was physically attracted to me might have been good enough for her.

Another experience I had had when younger was girls showing interest when they first met me but then quickly losing interest after more exposure to my personality.

Bottom line is that in my case, not pressuring a date for sex early on was probably due mostly to fear of rejection rather than respect for women, although I have NEVER wanted to have sex with someone who didn't also want it as much as I did.

@OP So do you like like this guy? Can you imagine being physically intimate with him, now that he has shown evidence of not being a player?

My WP story