Romance scammers

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I never liked the "shopping" aspect of it. There are a lot of pretty faces on there, with a lot of the same words. How am I supposed to choose?
...And why would anyone choose me? I never considered myself particularly "marketable", though I suppose I've become more appealing in recent years for financial reasons. I'm not sure that I'd want a woman that only cares about my wallet.

I really don't see the online dating thing working out well for me, even theoretically.

Besides, right now I have some outstanding loyalties... Which make my situation a bit complicated.

The 'shopping aspect' is the really nasty problem and that there are lots of scammers and by far less real women than guys. Real life dating is usually the better choice. So it's better to care about yourself, to dress nice, to learn holding of eye contact and to care about your mood if looking at other people because their empathy makes them thinking it's them who are causing your mood and your feelings. It's also a huge advantage if you improve at reading the emotions of other people.

Listened to 10 minutes.

Of course not all online romances are scams, buuuut, if they're asking you to send money/crypto/gift cards whether to them or friends/other accounts then.. it's a scam. Flat out it's a scam. You're a mark and they're a con artist. Full stop, period.


If I'm going to waste money on any special someone it's going to be in person. I'd way rather pay for a few dinners/concert tickets etc taking a real person out that doesn't lead to a relationship than send money off into the internet with no expectation of ever even meeting the person. Just bizarre that people fall for this stuff.

Yeah, I like seeing the smile on someone's face when you get them something that they like.

But beware people. You can be conned in person too. I know an autistic woman who was in an unhappy marriage. This was way before the internet was popular. A younger man befriended her and she kept giving him money for things. They were things he needed, but he was a loser who didn't want to earn his own keep.

And then he moved on and she was down a lot of money.

Yep, for sure 100% there are many real life leeches that are only interested in a free ride and draining someone's accounts/generosity for as long as they can before they move on and victimize someone else.

If you're paying for dates or loaning a lover some amount of money, fully expect 100% that it will never be reciprocated nor repaid and simply budget to be able to afford to spend that money and never have someone return the favour paying for dinner dates or repaying money loaned. Then if it costs ya, you were okay with it up front and aren't going to lose sleep over the expense. And if they come into some money and treat you in return, or pay back some small loan, consider it an unexpected bonus. Otherwise you're just setting yourself up to be greatly disappointed and possibly financially ruined if you have some assumption that spending will be reciprocated or small loans repaid.

You're missing the point. It's not the money that matters here. She thought this person genuinely had feelings for her, but he used her for money.

That's what happens in a lot of these scams. They pretend to show affection, but they don't care one bit. And People get addicted to the attention because they are lonely.

Live and learn how gullible you are, I suppose.

People who have genuine feelings for people don't come with a price tag and expectations that you pay for a bunch of things for them.

At least this new-ish concept of "sugar babies," is entirely up front about what their relationship is and is not. Materialistic opportunists trading dinner dates, gifts, etc for companionship and sex. At least people who enter into those types of arrangements all know going into it that that's exactly what it is. Much more ethical than scammers, IMO.

Truth. When they start asking for money, be very suspicious.

Yep - if their affection is only given in exchange for money/you paying for things then that's a very serious red flag.

Different story if you have $ and they don't and you don't mind treating a date to something.

I've heard the opposite ploy where scammers sometimes offer money to vulnerable people, in the guise of friendship or possibly more. It could be they're trying to buy affection, but more likely they just want to seem compassionate.

I think it's icky both ways. I've been with my partner over three years and I still keep our finances separate.

It's often a hard-sell / manipulation tactic wherein a "gift" is given, only to then be used as leverage to ask for things in return. Like being offered something as though it's free, and then after you accept it, being told you owe them for it. It is usually combined with the similar tactic of asking for a small thing, which once agreed to, becomes a bigger thing than initially stated or implied.

They love-bomb or otherwise bestow "gifts", and then make the recipient feel guilty for not "reciprocating". They are usually happy to suggest ways you can "make it up to them". At this point, they may withhold affection or attention until you give them the thing they want in return.

A vulnerable person may then comply, out of concern for "ruining a good thing" since they were "so nice, before" - and may even feel like they are at fault for not having "reciprocated" properly.

^ People are especially prone to this when they are in a vulnerable situation, like if they need cash to buy groceries. That's not to say that there aren't people who genuinely want to help, but there are a lot of people who try to latch on to an easy target.

Even dates can be transactional. Sometimes people think they are entitled to something in return if they bought someone a nice dinner in an expensive restaurant.

I break up immediately the moment I sense the relationship is going the transactional route.

How often has that happened?

Very rare, only once because it was staggering obvious.