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AngelL
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24 Jul 2021, 1:05 pm

A couple of months ago I had a social worker come by my house for a visit/appointment. She stays for an hour and we catch up on my life, appointments, etc. She is there at my request, to document my challenges so that I can have evidence to support me when I seek help from community programs or state resources. She strikes me as kind, compassionate, and helpful; I am grateful that I found her.

That said, I'm wondering if I should be taking steps to protect myself when a woman is in my home, against claims of inappropriateness that might arise. I trust her not to say anything that isn't true, and I am completely harmless (as a matter of fact, I just noticed as I was writing this that the shirt I'm wearing right now says, "Boys will be boys. and then, made to look like it was drawn in with crayon, it continues, "Good Humans!" I got the shirt cause, I hate it when boys use that excuse for inappropriate behavior). But not every woman who might come into my home, like every human, is not trustworthy. So, how do I help to make a woman feel safe while in my home, and also protect myself?

Just to be clear, this isn't something that comes up a lot - say three different women in the last year: Social worker, property manager, and a contractor who came in to fix something that the maintenance person could not. Nevertheless, it would be handy info to have standing by.

Thanks!



Mona Pereth
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24 Jul 2021, 6:10 pm

If you happen to have a female friend or relative who visits you often, it might be helpful if you could arrange to have her there with you whenever you expect any woman to visit you in a professional capacity. This would both help the woman feel safer and also provide a witness in the event that any false accusations are ever made. (And, in the case of the social worker, it might also give her another person to get info from about your situation.)


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AngelL
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Joined: 13 Jul 2021
Age: 56
Posts: 165

28 Jul 2021, 12:04 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
If you happen to have a female friend or relative who visits you often, it might be helpful if you could arrange to have her there with you whenever you expect any woman to visit you in a professional capacity. This would both help the woman feel safer and also provide a witness in the event that any false accusations are ever made. (And, in the case of the social worker, it might also give her another person to get info from about your situation.)


Oh my Mona, I don't know how I missed this response as I was looking for one - but I did. Thank you so much for weighing in. Unfortunately, the only relative I speak to is my father who is 3000 miles away, and amazingly I live closer to him than any other living relative. I've never had a friend, so I'm kind of out of luck there. :) Anyway, both good ideas, I just don't have anything to work with.



that1weirdgrrrl
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30 Jul 2021, 10:02 pm

AngelL wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:
If you happen to have a female friend or relative who visits you often, it might be helpful if you could arrange to have her there with you whenever you expect any woman to visit you in a professional capacity. This would both help the woman feel safer and also provide a witness in the event that any false accusations are ever made. (And, in the case of the social worker, it might also give her another person to get info from about your situation.)


Oh my Mona, I don't know how I missed this response as I was looking for one - but I did. Thank you so much for weighing in. Unfortunately, the only relative I speak to is my father who is 3000 miles away, and amazingly I live closer to him than any other living relative. I've never had a friend, so I'm kind of out of luck there. :) Anyway, both good ideas, I just don't have anything to work with.


Ideally another human to be a witness would be your solution.

Can you meet with the social worker outside on your front porch?

Do you have any neighbors?

Could you express your concern for propriety to the social worker?

Could the social worker bring someone with her when she comes to visit?

Are there any "old fashioned" churches nearby? They might be willing to chaperone for free, if they also have concerns for propriety and are charitable.


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