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Jakki
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11 Aug 2022, 9:44 am

Well thought home is where your suppose to try to recover spoons, when you can.
And I only knew they host and her dad…….but many unknown people,as in most all of them.


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KitLily
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11 Aug 2022, 10:41 am

Jakki wrote:
Well thought home is where your suppose to try to recover spoons, when you can.
And I only knew they host and her dad…….but many unknown people,as in most all of them.


I can do a little excursion each day if I sit down a lot and it's not hours of walking or something.

Unknown people are scary to me now, they never used to bother me. I am a hermit now.


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Whale_Tuune
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15 Aug 2022, 11:42 am

wvwaxhtp wrote:
i haven't seen (or spoken to) my classmates, that i at least exchange a few words with every day, since summer break started about a month ago. today i saw an instagram post from one of them and found out they went on a huge, week long camping trip to a country neighboring mine. i wasn't aware of this. nobody texted me, asked me to come or anything related to that. they seemed to be having so much fun. i feel excluded and betrayed. however i don't know if i'm justified in feeling that way. am i overreacting? i got very lonely during summer break and this just broke me. maybe they didn't text me because i haven't texted them either, but they should have known that. i text very rarely because i dislike that form of communication, it's nothing unusual from me. should i talk to them about it or let it go?


Hmm, well first of all you don't know the circumstances here. It may have been a camping trip between their families, or organized at an event they were all at, without you. Also, if you don't text a lot, they may think that you aren't close enough to go camping with. It's not necessarily exclusion but in their minds a way of respecting boundaries they think that you've set.

Do you invite them to go places with you, or hang out? I'd start there. Inviting someone to get lunch or go to a movie or a museum, for example.


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CockneyRebel
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15 Aug 2022, 11:54 am

That happened to me a lot when I was in college. My "friends" would go somewhere to eat or for coffee. I'd ask them why they didn't invite me. That's when two of my closer friends and I were talking about how depressing it is that we never get together.


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KitLily
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15 Aug 2022, 12:46 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
That happened to me a lot when I was in college. My "friends" would go somewhere to eat or for coffee. I'd ask them why they didn't invite me. That's when two of my closer friends and I were talking about how depressing it is that we never get together.


I often wonder if I'm invisible. I can be standing with some people I know casually and when I speak everyone jumps and looks shocked, as if the wall has suddenly spoken. It is bizarre.


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Whale_Tuune
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15 Aug 2022, 2:08 pm

Sometimes my friends will tell stories about things that happened when we were all together to me, apparently having forgotten that I was there.

Also, people refer to me as me quiet a lot. Which is odd, as I don't try to be quiet nor do I see myself as such...


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KitLily
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15 Aug 2022, 2:55 pm

Whale_Tuune wrote:
Sometimes my friends will tell stories about things that happened when we were all together to me, apparently having forgotten that I was there.

Also, people refer to me as me quiet a lot. Which is odd, as I don't try to be quiet nor do I see myself as such...


It's weird isn't it how we seem to be invisible.

Inside my head and in my thoughts, it is SO LOUD. Lots of thoughts whirling round constantly. People think I'm sitting quietly but in fact I'm having lots and lots of thoughts and ideas.


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Summer_Twilight
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16 Aug 2022, 8:42 am

My former "Friend," the autistic woman once had the nerve to tell me that she would like to introduce me to her new friends but I needed to stop talking too much first. :roll: Yet, it was ok for her to talk too much.

I also also have other fake friends who didn't like me to begin with and had the nerve to criticize me by hiding behind their other friends and family members. "They don't like you because you talk too much," "You're too hyper," "They love you but you get on their nerves," "You're too bubbly."

I have also had people compare me to people who they supposedly do like and then had a nerve to brag about how they had such a good time doing this and that with these other people.

However, we could be facing rejection and exclusion and not because we are different but perhaps because there are people who feel insecure. Most people who leave us out probably want to get the attention off themselves and so they tend to look at the flaw of of others.



KitLily
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16 Aug 2022, 12:03 pm

Yes, there is that saying:

People point out what's bad about you because they can't handle what's good about you.

(something like that anyway)

A friend and I once discussed that it's because we are nice that other people try and put us down. Because we make them look bad in comparison.

I know my school friends preferred me when I was a lonely loser with nothing, to now I'm a married woman with a child. That's what I discovered, anyway.


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Summer_Twilight
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17 Aug 2022, 11:45 am

Kitlily:
Some people never grow out of this childish high school phase in which they enjoy making other people feel bad about themselves.



KitLily
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17 Aug 2022, 12:46 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Kitlily:
Some people never grow out of this childish high school phase in which they enjoy making other people feel bad about themselves.


I think there are many such people aren't there...

Like the Playground Mums. When I went to take and fetch my daughter to and from school, I met the Playground Mums. Soooo competitive and so worried about their status. If I didn't invite their children to my daughter's parties, OMG. Whispering behind my back, excluding me, not inviting her to their parties. Soooo childish, honestly! I invited the children my daughter wanted to invite. It wasn't anything to do with what I thought of the parents. :roll:


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SkinnyElephant
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21 Aug 2022, 9:41 pm

wvwaxhtp wrote:
i haven't seen (or spoken to) my classmates, that i at least exchange a few words with every day, since summer break started about a month ago. today i saw an instagram post from one of them and found out they went on a huge, week long camping trip to a country neighboring mine. i wasn't aware of this. nobody texted me, asked me to come or anything related to that. they seemed to be having so much fun. i feel excluded and betrayed. however i don't know if i'm justified in feeling that way. am i overreacting? i got very lonely during summer break and this just broke me. maybe they didn't text me because i haven't texted them either, but they should have known that. i text very rarely because i dislike that form of communication, it's nothing unusual from me. should i talk to them about it or let it go?


I hope this doesn't sound overly harsh. But I am going to give you some cold hard truth.

I remember being your age. In retrospect, the vast majority of people I thought were my friends in high school, didn't truly view me as a friend. Only a few of my (what I thought were) friends from my high school would ever get together with me outside of school (and even then, we only got together extremely rarely). The rest of my (what I thought were) friends from my high school would only associate with me at school.

Being in my 30s, I'm able to view my high school years from a different perspective. In high school, you spend 6+ hours per day around the same people. 5 days a week. 9 and a half months out of the year. It's inevitable you'll end up with a chummy relationship with certain classmates. But if they never/rarely meet up with you outside school, it tells you all you need to know regarding how much of a priority they view you as.

None of this is meant to be insulting. I was you at one point. Reading your post, it feels like I'm reading something I could have written at 17.

It's possible I'm misunderstanding something though. You say you haven't seen these classmates since summer break started. Do you typically see these classmates outside of school (if so, you can probably disregard most of what I said)?



Mona Pereth
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21 Aug 2022, 10:04 pm

wvwaxhtp wrote:
i haven't seen (or spoken to) my classmates, that i at least exchange a few words with every day, since summer break started about a month ago. today i saw an instagram post from one of them and found out they went on a huge, week long camping trip to a country neighboring mine.

An important question I don't recall seeing anyone ask in this thread:

How many people was "they"? Pretty much the entire class, excluding you? Or was it just the one classmate and a few friends? Or somewhere in between those two extremes?

Personally, it seems to me that you would have reason to feel insulted only if the person invited pretty much the entire class excluding you. If, on the other hand, the person invited just a few especially close friends of theirs from the class, then would I see no reason for you to feel singled out (unless the person previously claimed to be best friends with you, or something). People have the right to hang out with their closest friends if they so choose, and none of us are entitled to be everyone else's close friend.


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