Giving people the wrong impression of me.

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autisticstar
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16 Aug 2010, 10:48 am

I have always had difficulty making friends and connecting with other people. I think it may have something to do with the fact that somehow I send out the wrong signals to other people. I often meet people who it seems like I have something in common with them and think they would be worth getting to know but somehow it rarely works out. I know that not everyone will like me but I often feel like I am automatically dismissed by other people. I feel like I am seen as just a weird person and nobody will give me any ideas on how to make a better impression. Has anyone else found ways to make a better impression on other people?



KaiG
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16 Aug 2010, 11:06 am

Asperger's tends to mess with your body language, so you can easily give off the wrong impressions to people. I'm pretty sure people at university mistook my social inadequacies as aloofness and arrogance, but if they actually got to know me better they usually found that I wasn't what they expected.


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BTDT
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16 Aug 2010, 12:02 pm

NTs expect you to wear appropriate clothes.



CockneyRebel
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16 Aug 2010, 11:17 pm

BTDT wrote:
NTs expect you to wear appropriate clothes.


Forget that. I'm dressing in Mod fashion! :cool:


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Surreal
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19 Aug 2010, 5:44 pm

Yes. I haven't been OFFICIALLY diagnosed, but I feel exactly like this! Even with people I'm supposed to be friends with, I feel this way.

People have mistaken my social inadequecies as ALOOFNESS and ARROGANCE. Follow that with the fact that those are two of the masks I wear to keep people away from me. But take the masks off and all you'll see is the social inadequecies.

Some people from my meetings try...sometimes it works out...sometimes I wind up the odd man out because I just don't know how to function within some situations. Trying harder does NOT work; it only makes it more apparent that something is not quite right.



nomii
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20 Aug 2010, 2:20 pm

BTDT wrote:
NTs expect you to wear appropriate clothes.


Meh, I dunno. I'm still a picky dresser at time. It's my parents who force me to wear clothes that don't match, as long as they're comfortable and practical. My mom (who is NT) has a poor sense of fashion and sometimes I have to make her choose.



zeldapsychology
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20 Aug 2010, 2:30 pm

OMG! Yes! Dad was yelling at the 8 year old I stepped in and I assume my body language said different but I was just going to say something but they took as a "coming after them attack" :-(



Miyah
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20 Aug 2010, 3:03 pm

AS,
I have issues with talking to myself and also looking like I am putting on heirs which were two common traits to being on the spectrum. I also struggle with not picking up on normal adult cues that my neighbor seems to pick up on.



deep-techno
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23 Aug 2010, 1:23 pm

I don't tend to give off the wrong impression by my appearance, but more from behaviour. For example, I am an intelligent and mature person, but occasionally I have moments of making social trip-ups (e.g. forgetting what someone said 5 seconds ago, or saying something that I've said before) and people immediately think that I am stupid because of this, when actually, I am not. I find this very frustrating.


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sickforapathyx
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27 Aug 2010, 11:53 am

I'm not sure what a mod's fashion sense it. Do NOT blow off a fashion sense though, its what makes you come off as intelligible and attractive to girls as well.

Your mom should not be picking out clothes for you if you are over 12 -.-. People will see you as different, if you dress differently or wear weird clothes. If you have a bit of a fashion sense you at at least seem intelligent.



grendel
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27 Aug 2010, 7:00 pm

Like others have mentioned, I have had many people tell me that I act "arrogant" or looking down on people, etc. (My mother just says I act "rude" even when I am completely polite and I used the nice polite phrases in meeting her friends). It's not something I do intentionally at all, I even try not to do it but it doesn't help.

I don't think it has to do with how I dress, I have gone through different phases of how I dress in my life (though I never dressed provocatively), but it didnt have any affect in terms of that response. I think it has to do with how I talk. If I keep my mouth shut, people generally just think I am shy (which I am also, though I am very talkative around people I know). However that's not why I try to be quiet at first, its more becuase I know people will react negatively.

However once I start talking more, most people are put off and they said I talk down to people. Also that I talk oddly and use archaic vocabulary, (I try to use a lot of casual language as well when speaking verbally, however, to combat the impression that I speak too "formally"). I have been told both that my word choice is odd and that my voice itself is strange (when I used to work in a call center, people frequently told me they thought I was an answering machine at first). This is when I actually get an explanation, most of the time it's just blank stares or a strange look and ignoring what I said. It also may have to do with the fact that I don't speak well on my feet, so if someone asks me something suddenly and I am unprepared it takes a moment to get something together and frequently my first response doesn't make a lot of sense. And, I have a slight lisp which does not help.

In terms of fashion sense, I think it's overrated... not something I have the time or interest to keep up with anyway. The people who do put a lot of weight on it generally aren't people I can stand anyway. And I couldn't care less if a guy has "fashion sense" as long as his hygiene is good.