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thehandmedown
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29 Sep 2010, 10:45 pm

Why do NT's feel the need to constantly hug others as a way of greeting and when leaving? Someone asked me, "well if you dont hug then how do you greet someone?" well of course not with a hug unless your my girlfriend and even then it dosnt always happen.

What are some ways you might greet someone?



hartzofspace
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29 Sep 2010, 10:54 pm

I just say hello, and smile if I remember to. I can't stand people trying to hug me. I only hug my boyfriend, and certain family members.


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buryuntime
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29 Sep 2010, 11:02 pm

thehandmedown wrote:
Why do NT's feel the need to constantly hug others as a way of greeting and when leaving? Someone asked me, "well if you dont hug then how do you greet someone?" well of course not with a hug unless your my girlfriend and even then it dosnt always happen.

What are some ways you might greet someone?

Different greetings are part of different cultures. In other parts of the world or even the US hugging someone might be very unusual or even inappropriate-- in others you might be expected to kiss someone upon greeting. It also depends on context. Hand-shaking, I believe, is a greeting in a professional context.

As for me, I generally wave my hand and say hello.



thehandmedown
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29 Sep 2010, 11:23 pm

buryuntime wrote:
As for me, I generally wave my hand and say hello.


Yes I would agree this is how I feel most comfortable greeting people. I dont really wave though just kind stick my hand up I guess



OddFiction
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29 Sep 2010, 11:25 pm

I usually just nod my head and mumble something unless the person I'm faced with is someone with a value or importance as defined by my current needs or expectations. Or they make a motion of their own, in which case I try to return the same. I'd have issues with hugs from non-family too.

I believe a handshake is the most common form of greeting, but in some regions a hug, or a 'fake kiss' beside each cheek is the normal greeting.


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nekowafer
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30 Sep 2010, 11:02 am

I've always explained to my peers that I don't do hugs. They know that I don't like to be touched. I will smile, and wave, but that's it.

In a more professional setting, you have to deal with handshakes - which I hate. But in that setting you have more to lose by offending the other person.


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sandyt
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01 Oct 2010, 4:53 pm

This guy who I had known since Sunday school (5 or 6) literally cried when I "let him hug me" on his 16th birthday. It was gross because he was also wet in the face.



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01 Oct 2010, 5:05 pm

Somehow I manage to project an quite a hostile (for want of better word) aura around me so people don't usually try to hug me (there are some rather creepy expections though). I hate being squeezed and my tolerance for private space invasion is practically nonexistent. Dammit, why should people always try to butt in I can't even guess.

Now wait a moment, my mother's doggie, if he's really very happy to see me, he won't jump at me or wag his tail (as he does when he's plain happy) but, rather, he gets on his hind legs and tries to hug me with the front. That's the kind of hugs I like.



newbmeister
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02 Oct 2010, 1:52 am

I'm technically NT and HATE HUGS from just about everyone I'm not romantic with... I think I'm in the minority there but most people do not try to hug me, whether because they get some sort of body language vibe from me or they're just not big huggers. The ones that need to hug every time they see you are not standard and, to me, rude and annoying. I'm going to guess it's largely a cultural thing...



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02 Oct 2010, 5:16 am

I don't think hugs are acceptable for greetings, they're too physical. Handshakes are pretty much the standard when talking business, even as a student I know that, the school principal in particular, as I was working on a project with him wanted handshakes. Anyway, hugs aren't used much here, luckily.

The fake kissing thing sounds even worse, though I've never seen it happen.



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02 Oct 2010, 7:00 am

thehandmedown wrote:
. What are some ways you might greet someone?


I'm more of a hand shaker. That's what I do in church or when I meet some one new. If I know the person, I may hug them.



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02 Oct 2010, 7:43 am

thehandmedown wrote:
What are some ways you might greet someone?


Depending on the day, I either look at them, or just say "hi".



primaloath
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02 Oct 2010, 1:42 pm

I used to love hugging people; now I only give hugs to people whom I know will accept them.

Just saying "Hi" or "Hello" is a good enough greeting for me.



Khalaris
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02 Oct 2010, 3:19 pm

I found it extremely confusing when my friends suddenly started this whole hugging business. There was never an explanation or anything and I still don't know why they started in the first place.

For me a simple verbal greeting is just fine. Physical contact doesn't make me feel more connected to them, neither do I see it as an affirmation of affection, which seems to be what it means to them *shrugs*



kissmyarrrtichoke
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03 Oct 2010, 7:17 am

I only hug my family and my 5 or so close female friends because nowadays I don't see them as much, however usually they initiate it and often I don't actually want it. If I do initiate it feels awkward with most people and I know I don't really want it anyway. I even don't really want to hug my dad who expects it when I come back from university (have had a fairly estranged relationship in the past), but I crave hugs from my mum, sister and best friends. Anyone else then I would rather say 'Hi' and usually 'how are you' because I don't know how else to start a conversation.


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04 Oct 2010, 3:32 pm

I prefer to give people handshakes. I only hug people, if they seem distressed, and I ask the troubled person, if they want a hug.


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