Page 1 of 3 [ 35 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 122
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,489
Location: Out of my mind

30 Oct 2016, 3:25 am

Is it generally a bad idea to meet someone you met on an Internet forum in person?
Who here has done so and how did it turn out?
Was the person what you expected?
Are you still friends after meeting face to face?
I think it would feel too awkward and I wouldn't be able to speak anyway.
I'm extremely shy irl.

And what if they're really a cannibalistic serial killer?
I mean, how would you know they're legit?


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 85,732
Location: Queens, NYC

30 Oct 2016, 3:34 am

Just meet in a public spot or something.

I've netbooks some people with whom I conversed with online. Nothing bad happened.

Just don't invite the person to your home until you establish trust.



Uncle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 1,124

30 Oct 2016, 3:41 am

Hey :) I dont see why you shouldn't meet people in Rl that you meet online :) ... Yes it can be daunting but better to find out that regret not doing it and having it plague your mind :)
I dont know your surroundings but rather than a busy area maybe go for a beach or nature walk, that way delayed silences can be masked by taking in your surroundings, its a little less awkward than sitting face to face at a table over coffee trying to force yourself to make conversation without the added stress of being self aware of your surroundings and possibly going mute when overloaded... Maybe find out what they enjoy doing that doesn't involve having too many people around you... Im not sure what context your talking about.. Is it just an acquaintance you met, someone you are possibly romantically connected to or anything else as each situation gives all sorts of possibilities on how to approach the situation :)

Just look for the cauldron! if no cauldron you are statistically safer ( marginally i know! hehe)

you will never know they are truly legit till you get to know them more. Even here i have know some people for a while but then when they move in they can be very different people. however you cant let yourself fall to the dark side so to speak :) try to keep positive and upbeat as you can and see what naturally develops :)

I have met some people in the past on dating sites and although i had no attraction to them after we met i still kept in touch with a few of them ( one was a travel agent and she still gives me her commissioned discount when i head overseas despite me profusely asking her to add her commission, she always refuses with a smile)
So yeah, as hard as it is, remove yourself from your comfort zone and give it a go :) it never turns out the way you think it will and often tends to work out quit well but you will never know unless you give it a go ;)

(ps, i hope your doing well Raleigh! You are always on my mind! :) )



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 33,647
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

30 Oct 2016, 3:49 am

It depends really I mean every guy I've gone out with I met on line pretty much, except for my boyfriend in highschool, but I was too immature for a serious relationship at that point. But yeah never met a cannibalistic serial killer. I mean I'd say you kind of have to go with your gut feeling when it comes to that and use safety precautions like have your phone on you in case something happens and you need to call someone and just be aware of surroundings and all that like maybe plan to meet in a public area for the first time rather than meeting them privately somewhere.

I got led on a few times, so you can have positive or negative experiences but then that is the same even if you meet someone in person initially, you never know quite who you can trust till you see how they act and how they treat you in various situations.


_________________
We won't go back.


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 122
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,489
Location: Out of my mind

30 Oct 2016, 4:02 am

Uncle wrote:
Im not sure what context your talking about.. Is it just an acquaintance you met, someone you are possibly romantically connected to or anything else as each situation gives all sorts of possibilities on how to approach the situation

It's an acquaintanceship, not a romantic interest.
This person has invited me to their house - supplied their address as well.
I don't really feel comfortable with that, but don't know how to refuse without seeming like I don't trust them - it's gotten awkward already.
Help.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


Uncle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 1,124

30 Oct 2016, 4:07 am

Raleigh wrote:
Uncle wrote:
Im not sure what context your talking about.. Is it just an acquaintance you met, someone you are possibly romantically connected to or anything else as each situation gives all sorts of possibilities on how to approach the situation

It's an acquaintanceship, not a romantic interest.
This person has invited me to their house - supplied their address as well.
I don't really feel comfortable with that, but don't know how to refuse without seeming like I don't trust them - it's gotten awkward already.
Help.



Just say something like:

'' I dont mean to be rude but is it ok if we first meet in a place that is a little more public?
Im sure your a great/nice person, i would just feel a little more comfortable taking that route on our first encounter''
Is that ok with you?'

If they say no, run for the hills! lol

or

'' Hey, i have an idea, could we go out for a walk? ''

It makes it hard for them to say no, and you have given an alternative without directly telling them about your inner nerves about meeting them at their home.



Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 122
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,489
Location: Out of my mind

30 Oct 2016, 4:22 am

^ there are a lot of complications.

I kinda wish someone had said, "Yes, it's a really BAD idea. Never meet an internet person in real life. Full stop."
That is easy.

Why is life so complicated?
My anxiety goes through the roof.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


racheypie666
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2016
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,382
Location: UK

30 Oct 2016, 4:28 am

^^^ I think dcj would say something like that lol, wait until he gets here :wink:

Most everything is complicated though :? , hugs for your anxiety ((()))



Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 122
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,489
Location: Out of my mind

30 Oct 2016, 4:34 am

I feel like I could probably trust this person but my awkwardness would kill me and I'm terrified they would hate me.

And I don't know why I care.
But I do.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


racheypie666
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2016
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,382
Location: UK

30 Oct 2016, 4:41 am

I'm sure they wouldn't hate you, it takes a lot to make a person hate you and you are a nice person.

You probably don't come across as badly/awkwardly as you think you do, and even if you are super shy and awkward, the other person should be understanding (assuming they already know you find social stuff hard). In my experience people can be very forgiving/understanding of awkwardness if you level with them. Not all people mind you, but people who want to be your friend.



whatamievendoing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Aug 2016
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,336
Location: Finland

30 Oct 2016, 4:56 am

I met my BFF online six years ago, and we met in person within only a few months. We've been in the habit of seeing each other as regularly as possible since.

So no, not necessarily. But I would advise being careful regardless. Sending each other self-portraits might be a good way of ensuring that no scamming is going on.


_________________
“They laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at them because they're all the same.”
― Kurt Cobain


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 122
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,489
Location: Out of my mind

30 Oct 2016, 5:09 am

What is even the point of meeting irl?
I know I'm severely disadvantaged this way.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


Uncle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 1,124

30 Oct 2016, 5:24 am

Raleigh wrote:
What is even the point of meeting irl?
I know I'm severely disadvantaged this way.



Well, it sounds like you want to meat this person, just try not to talk yourself out of it :) It can be hard initially, its akin to jumping out a plane for the first time, you worry and worry before the jump but then when you do, what you experience is very very different from what you had thought, In the end you just want to jump again! :) ... Its a similar concept... I understand how hard it is! I have got to the point i the past that i worried myself so much i was sweating, shaking, paralasis and internally going nuts.. but when i did manage to push through those barriers im glad that i did as more often than not it turned out totally different from what i had expected. I do also realise its not just the general worry of meeting someone for the first time but also dealing with the internal meltdows associated with such a thing ( hehe)
Just dont end up making a decision you later regret ;)
Also as have others mentioned here, try to find a place you feel comfortable... I dont know what you like, but for me a walk along the beach or in nature, or a night time campfire where i would cook some food and make a brew. Basically keeping myself occupied with other things so as i dont have to concentrate on sitting there trying to make conversation... I find it helps! hehe



Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 122
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,489
Location: Out of my mind

30 Oct 2016, 5:31 am

^ but they live in another city.
I don't know anything about the area.
Never been there before.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


Uncle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 1,124

30 Oct 2016, 5:32 am

Could you not meet them near you in familiar surroundings without having to go directly to your place?



Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 122
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,489
Location: Out of my mind

30 Oct 2016, 5:50 am

^ I don't know.
That's too hard.
I want to forget the whole idea and tell them I never want to meet them ever.

Would that be considered rude? :|


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking