Don't know if I'm being socially inappropriate or not D:

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Holden14
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18 Oct 2016, 4:36 pm

Can anyone possibly tell me if from the information below I sound like I'm acting inappropriate or even creepy, or okay? Also, if anyone has had a similar experience I'd appreciate hearing about that.

So there's a teacher at my school whose particular role involves helping/talking to students in my year who need it, not about academic things but other stuff. I don't know how much/if other students go see her at all. So far this year (7 weeks) I've gone to see her twice. Both times she has seemed quite rushed which makes me worried that I go to often.

What I talk about is my friend who has a mental health problem (this is technically why this teacher is meant to help me out). I also told her about being an aspie and she seemed unsurprised and knowledgeable about that. What I'm worried about is that recently I've started asking her advice on things relating to my relationship with my parents and also someone I'm dating. I'm worried that the amount I'm telling her about my life is inappropriate because I obviously wouldn't know if it was. I'm worried that I'm pushing her away which makes me sad because I really like her and talking to her. I'm also worried that she is anxious about the things I tell her. Another thing I did is make her biscuits one time she was especially nice to me. I know this may have seemed strange but I just meant it to be nice.

Does it sound like I'm being weird and overkeen and likely to be annoying or worrying my teacher? 8O :? :(


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north404
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29 Oct 2016, 12:11 pm

She's a counselor and not an actual teacher, correct?

If so, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, you seeking her assistance on those issues you mentioned is appropriate. The biscuits thing kind of is a stretch and may have taken her back a bit because she may not have received gifts for doing her job before. But I don't think you did anything wrong.

If she's an actual teacher though, and she just has this "role" you speak of that is widely acknowledged by the student body (students in her class, to be specific), it may have been weird if you sought her help while not being an actual student of hers.



Holden14
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29 Oct 2016, 3:44 pm

north404 wrote:
She's a counselor and not an actual teacher, correct?

If so, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, you seeking her assistance on those issues you mentioned is appropriate. The biscuits thing kind of is a stretch and may have taken her back a bit because she may not have received gifts for doing her job before. But I don't think you did anything wrong.

If she's an actual teacher though, and she just has this "role" you speak of that is widely acknowledged by the student body (students in her class, to be specific), it may have been weird if you sought her help while not being an actual student of hers.

Eek she is a real teacher haha, but I think this is okay because she has a pastoral role at school which is to help students in my year group. But thank you, I'm glad you think so :) Yeah the biscuits thing was definitely weird :oops: :roll: But thanks! :heart:


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Shahunshah
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29 Oct 2016, 7:39 pm

I personally don't think what you have done is greatly socially inappropriate. People often feel the need for advice and don't be ashamed for you trying to get it. To be honest my personal guess is that since she is your go-to person for dealing with student's problems, she will likely know stuff that is allot more heavy than anything you likely would have described to her. What you go through with Asperger's might even be small to her by comparison.



Velcrowalls
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29 Oct 2016, 7:46 pm

It doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong in fact it sounds like this is all within her job description anyway.


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Holden14
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02 Nov 2016, 2:27 pm

Thanks everyone, that is reassuring :)


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mathiebrungrand
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14 Nov 2016, 3:31 pm

You can always just ask her if it is appropriate. That's what I do. When in doubt, just ask.


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owenc
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14 Nov 2016, 9:32 pm

Holden14 wrote:
Can anyone possibly tell me if from the information below I sound like I'm acting inappropriate or even creepy, or okay? Also, if anyone has had a similar experience I'd appreciate hearing about that.

So there's a teacher at my school whose particular role involves helping/talking to students in my year who need it, not about academic things but other stuff. I don't know how much/if other students go see her at all. So far this year (7 weeks) I've gone to see her twice. Both times she has seemed quite rushed which makes me worried that I go to often.

What I talk about is my friend who has a mental health problem (this is technically why this teacher is meant to help me out). I also told her about being an aspie and she seemed unsurprised and knowledgeable about that. What I'm worried about is that recently I've started asking her advice on things relating to my relationship with my parents and also someone I'm dating. I'm worried that the amount I'm telling her about my life is inappropriate because I obviously wouldn't know if it was. I'm worried that I'm pushing her away which makes me sad because I really like her and talking to her. I'm also worried that she is anxious about the things I tell her. Another thing I did is make her biscuits one time she was especially nice to me. I know this may have seemed strange but I just meant it to be nice.

Does it sound like I'm being weird and overkeen and likely to be annoying or worrying my teacher? 8O :? :(


Go to an outside councillor.

These people referred to as "educational phycologists" are only trained in a basic way in regards to Asperger's.. They do not know all the ins and outs of Autism.

The woman was ruffling paper and rushing because she did not want to talk to you because she did not know how to help you..

I know because this happened to me constantly in school and still does at university.. (I have to get my help outside from qualified people).

Most people when you tell them that you have Asperger's will swell up and start acting cold or reduce contact because they truthfully don't know what to do and they don't want to send you down the wrong path.

Or perhaps maybe she may not want to talk to you because she perhaps deems your problems to be too personal: A lot of these "educational psychologists" only discuss internal issues affecting you within the schooling system.. They are not councillors.



owenc
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14 Nov 2016, 9:40 pm

Holden14 wrote:
north404 wrote:
She's a counselor and not an actual teacher, correct?

If so, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, you seeking her assistance on those issues you mentioned is appropriate. The biscuits thing kind of is a stretch and may have taken her back a bit because she may not have received gifts for doing her job before. But I don't think you did anything wrong.

If she's an actual teacher though, and she just has this "role" you speak of that is widely acknowledged by the student body (students in her class, to be specific), it may have been weird if you sought her help while not being an actual student of hers.

Eek she is a real teacher haha, but I think this is okay because she has a pastoral role at school which is to help students in my year group. But thank you, I'm glad you think so :) Yeah the biscuits thing was definitely weird :oops: :roll: But thanks! :heart:


Yes help with internal matters relating to their education not personal issues from home.

And she probably was taken a back by the biscuits.. And that might be why she has reduced contact.