Can someone be too ugly/dumb to never get a friend?

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white_as_snow
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12 Feb 2017, 4:23 pm

I had 2 friends until i was 17, but since that i never had any friend. Not even on internet. I can't talk to people, i have no social skills, and i am creepy. I tried getting a friend for long time and tried to chat with people sooo many times, but it always ends up bad. It feels pointless to keep trying. Since i am very ugly and very dumb and have zero social status, the logically conclusion would be that my chances to get a friend is zero. In fact i could probaly name 100s of flaws that i have. I would drag down peoples social status, they would feel ashamed to have me with them.

Anyone else also had zero friends in their whole adult life and feels like this?



the_phoenix
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12 Feb 2017, 8:39 pm

white_as_snow wrote:
It feels pointless to keep trying.


If you stop trying, it's pointless.
If you keep trying, and take steps to improve yourself, you have a chance.



Last edited by the_phoenix on 12 Feb 2017, 8:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Claradoon
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12 Feb 2017, 8:47 pm

No, not unless you or somebody else has convince you (or your subconscious) that it is. Then you gotta work your way out of it. But your not stuck with it. A counselor is a good idea.



Summer_Twilight
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13 Feb 2017, 7:20 am

Just because you don't have social skills and a bad appearance doesn't mean you can't learn.

1. Daniel Wendler has a website on improving your social skills
2.You could also tune into Asperkid's- Speaking Geek along with tuning into your personal hygiene.



The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Feb 2017, 5:18 am

I notice good-looking people befriend each other as cliques.

I notice it too much in females especially: a clique of good-looking women, a clique of tall women, a clique of short women, a clique of certain race....it's crazy. Have anyone noticed this in his area?

Bodybuilder guys often form cliques too that don't include skinny and fat boys, but this may be due to a common interest.



Summer_Twilight
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14 Feb 2017, 3:15 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I notice good-looking people befriend each other as cliques.

I notice it too much in females especially: a clique of good-looking women, a clique of tall women, a clique of short women, a clique of certain race....it's crazy. Have anyone noticed this in his area?

Bodybuilder guys often form cliques too that don't include skinny and fat boys, but this may be due to a common interest.


That is because they are shallow minded low-quality people who have been brainwashed by society to weed anyone that doesn't look like their description which is sad and unrealistic.

It also means that they comfortable with people who they can relate to as well and especially ones of a particular race.

However, I have seen people with ASD get together and form a clique where you have to have certain requirements or you are out. I have just never fit one of those groups because I beat to a different kind of drum than most of the people in these groups.

I have been nerds of a particular interest clique and particularly those who love video games. They were acting like video games were an advanced subject like philosophy or physics which I would never be able to understand.



Last edited by Summer_Twilight on 14 Feb 2017, 3:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

slw1990
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14 Feb 2017, 3:21 pm

I don't think looks usually have much to do with being able to make friends. It has more to do with how well you are able to connect with others.



white_as_snow
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25 Feb 2017, 7:55 pm

the_phoenix wrote:
white_as_snow wrote:
It feels pointless to keep trying.


If you stop trying, it's pointless.
If you keep trying, and take steps to improve yourself, you have a chance.


Since i never had a friend in my adult life, not even on interne, therefore its pointless, i never heard of anyone being so bad with social skills as me.

Nobody will ever want to be my friend, i will drag down their social status. People would feel ashamed to have me with them.

I can not improve myself, i have already tried. I have way too many flaws.



white_as_snow
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25 Feb 2017, 7:58 pm

Claradoon wrote:
No, not unless you or somebody else has convince you (or your subconscious) that it is. Then you gotta work your way out of it. But your not stuck with it. A counselor is a good idea.


Its not about my mentality, its about how dumb i am and how ugly i am, i am just being realistic when i say that nobody can like me. Sure i could believe i am good enough and keep trying but that will end up in nothing, just waste of energy.

How do i fix 100s flaws? Its not possible. I already have 3 counselor, its not working.



ZachGoodwin
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25 Feb 2017, 8:02 pm

Nope, not true at all. It's about being a good listener.



white_as_snow
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25 Feb 2017, 8:03 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Just because you don't have social skills and a bad appearance doesn't mean you can't learn.

1. Daniel Wendler has a website on improving your social skills
2.You could also tune into Asperkid's- Speaking Geek along with tuning into your personal hygiene.


How do i "learn". I already read books and tips and hints on internet and tried to watch how others are talking, but still i can not learn. I have low intelligence. And my appearance is not just bad its really really bad.

Kid? I am 25 years old. I do take care of my personal hygiene.



ZachGoodwin
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25 Feb 2017, 8:27 pm

Low intelligence?

I can read what you are typing and can understand your English fluently. I think you're being overly critical of yourself. You're not Stephen Hawking intelligent, you're just a common everyday internet user who apparently has difficulty in real life communicating with acquaintances, whom appear to have more on their mind than just speaking to one person.

white_as_snow, I also can't tell if you are ugly or dumb, because I have not seen your face, nor do I like to bully someone on their looks or appearance.

So to me you appear like an anxious guy on the internet trying to communicate the best he can so that he can not get into a fight. Which is where many people have been.



white_as_snow
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25 Feb 2017, 9:20 pm

slw1990 wrote:
I don't think looks usually have much to do with being able to make friends. It has more to do with how well you are able to connect with others.


It does in my case, i am probaly one of the most ugly persons on earth, i am serious.

Being able to connect to others - you mean good social skills? I dont have that either.



ZachGoodwin
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25 Feb 2017, 9:22 pm

YOU ARE NOT UGLY!

Why do people put social skills at the top of their list in life...?

If you had terrible social skills, again you wouldn't be talking to me in a pleasant tone of voice. You'd be calling me with swear words, now that is terrible social skills.



slw1990
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25 Feb 2017, 10:01 pm

white_as_snow wrote:
slw1990 wrote:
I don't think looks usually have much to do with being able to make friends. It has more to do with how well you are able to connect with others.


It does in my case, i am probaly one of the most ugly persons on earth, i am serious.

Being able to connect to others - you mean good social skills? I dont have that either.


Yes, that's what I mean. Maybe you could try making friends with other people similar to you? My social skills aren't very good either, but I have a few friends and a lot of them are in a similar situation.

I saw a picture that you posted in the Members Only Section. If that is a picture of you I don't think that you look ugly at all.



white_as_snow
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05 Mar 2017, 3:21 pm

ZachGoodwin wrote:
YOU ARE NOT UGLY!

Why do people put social skills at the top of their list in life...?

If you had terrible social skills, again you wouldn't be talking to me in a pleasant tone of voice. You'd be calling me with swear words, now that is terrible social skills.


Terrible social skills is not just saying swear words. Terrible social skills is in my case is connected with my low intelligence. I dont know how to talk with people, i am boring, strange etc. Things like this can not be fixed since i am born with this.