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Kitty4670
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30 Jan 2021, 1:12 am

My friend stopped talking to me, she said she don’t like how I was talking to her. She said hurtful things, she used bad language, she said I was childish & I was playing games with her. I don’t understand her. They were alot of things I didn’t like about her, it was kinda hard understanding stuff she written in the beginning of our friendship, she made alot of sentences into one very long one without commas & periods, she got spelling wrong too. I can’t help it if I had sooooo much trouble talking to her, I tried.


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Juliette
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30 Jan 2021, 5:48 pm

Friendship can have its ups and downs, as with any relationship. If we want them to last, it’s about not giving up on them. It’s about accepting we may need to apologise and start a new day afresh. Tiredness can effect how we relate to those we’re close to. If you’re at the point where there’s just no compatability and you’re both rubbing each other up the wrong way, a break might actually be the key.

Sometimes we need to break ties altogether with people who make us feel “less than” and cause us stress, or if being around them causes us harm. But if your friend understands your challenges, and you understand hers, and there have been good times between you before, it may just be that you need some soace from each other for awhile, before you can appreciate each other properly again.



hariboci
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25 Feb 2021, 6:54 am

Once a girl broke up with me in university, too. She refused to give an explanation and when a year later she started talking to me she just said she can't remember the reason.

Nevertheless I agree with Juliette, but as I am very easily break up with people, too, I believe if there is too much annoyance and you feel you are incompatible, I wouldn't advice to bother too much or overthink the situation.
You said there are many things you don't like about her, now you have time to think whether you find good memories, something that might worth to continue or actually this is the end of this friendship.
I had great pain with girls in the past, nowadays I'm very careful with them, it's difficult to understand their motives.


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Fenn
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26 Feb 2021, 5:19 pm

Hurt people hurt people.
That means people who are hurting inside, people who have been hurt, sometimes hurt other people because of the pain they feel inside.
Hurt people hurt people.


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madbutnotmad
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26 Feb 2021, 5:42 pm

I think as ASD people, we are prone to getting hurt easier.
I know I do, although have tried to make myself more resilient
when it comes to a lot of things

romantic relationships are still extremely difficult for me to
start, and extremely intense while in.

But also extremely painful to do with out.

I can block out this pain most the time but times of exhaustion / fatigue / burnout
or when i am extremely drunk, the sorrow and heart break come back to me
in an overwhelming uncontrollable wave that i simply cant stop

being so intense in emotion
makes life really hard to manage

what can we do?



Fenn
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22 Mar 2021, 7:16 pm

I was just reading that social anxiety is more prevalent in ASD people.
Medication like SSRI can help.
The DSM-5 talks about hyper- and hypo-sensativities.
I think that can apply to fire-alarms and touch, but may apply to emotions as well.
I think it does apply to emotions for me.
What I do is lots or reading of self-help, participate in forums, take meds and work with my shrink and support group.
Caffeine is also a mood elevator, but can also increase anxiety and have a negative effect on sleep.
Like stimulant meds for ADHD it can have side effect as it wares off especially and as it "comes on".
But a nice cup of tea can help a lot.
DBT (Dialectic Behavioral Therapy) stress tolerance can help too (google it).
Sometimes just remembering that tomorrow is another day - and this too shall pass.
Just keep dancing.


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Summer_Twilight
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23 Mar 2021, 3:29 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
My friend stopped talking to me, she said she don’t like how I was talking to her. She said hurtful things, she used bad language, she said I was childish & I was playing games with her. I don’t understand her. They were alot of things I didn’t like about her, it was kinda hard understanding stuff she written in the beginning of our friendship, she made alot of sentences into one very long one without commas & periods, she got spelling wrong too. I can’t help it if I had sooooo much trouble talking to her, I tried.


It sounds like you were not compatible from the beginning.

I was friends with a married couple while attending a congregation that was not a good fit for me at all. Additionally, that husband and wife were very controlling and not always the most supportive of my situation. The husband decided he didn't like me or any of the things I did. There were several times where he had outbursts and said other nasty things to me. They started putting a distance between myself and them and disappeared from my life.


Though I was sad, I realized they were not the right kinds of friends for me. It turns out that this couple have a lot of internal problems.