My dad says I'm not allowed to have crushes

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This really should be moved over to love and dating

Though I never had a boyfriend at your age, I had a crush on someone which my dad did not approve of which turned out to be a good thing. When one of my sisters was 15, she started dating someone from another school. He did not approve of him of either. In fact, he told me behind her back that she didn't need to have a boyfriend at 15 because he believed she was too young. Additionally, a lot of guys at that age are very immature. When I met him, he seemed like a nice young man but I could tell that he was not ready to be in a relationship and either did my sister.

I believe that my dad was raised that way. I guess it's how Indian families work. My mom told me that she never had any. I don't believe her.

Just don't do it on a balcony or you might find he's more of a tough guy than you.

Exactly. She might be denying them now or she might have denied them as they were occurring but except for people who never feel romantic or sexual attraction pretty much everyone will experience a crush at some point.

I really think my dad is this way because he doesn't want people to be taking advantage of me. I think he's way too overprotective.

Yup! Crushes (I was just thinking about them the other day, strangely) are a natural stage in out development, AFAIK.

Personally, my first crushes were boys and celebrities I knew/knew of in my pre-teen years. They were nothing more than guys to daydream about and giggle over with my girlfriends. I did very well in school and managed quite nicely to avoid becoming a whore. I am far from alone in this!

*I* think OP's dad is over-protective to the point of being controlling, paranoid, and just plain silly, but that's from a western POV--and one of a total stranger, at that.

The problem is I've had feelings for guys that I can't explain. Today my crush told me that he didn't like me, but my feelings for him remain. I don't know what to do.

Don't worry. Your feelings will fade with time. Everything feels super intense when you're a teenager.

My Mum was pretty open about crushes, but was a bit too realistic. "They're called crushes because they rarely work out and you get crushed and hurt". I don't know if that's just her logic or if anyone else takes the word "crush" so literally.

Crushes can be really overwhelming though. I read a thing years ago that suggested if you find yourself thinking about them all the time and it hurts try and set aside a time in the day to think about them and then reduce that amount of time every week.

Can't say that's ever worked for me, but it's a suggestion.

My mother used to say that a crush was the state of being in love with the idea of being in love.

I don't think you need to threaten said boy in any way to make sure of that. You could just talk to him man to man without the intimidation is all I am saying. Perhaps I'm wrong about you pointing it at them, but even so there really is no reason to have a gun present if your daughter introduces you to a crush of hers.

I mean do you really want to insure honorable intentions, or do you just want to scare off any boy she likes? I just think the whole shotgun approach is more likely to do the latter.

Do you really have this much of an issue with humor, even humor that makes you cringe? Please take comfort in knowing my days of intimidating young boys trying to woo my daughter are over.

Edit:
I'm thinking you have the very precise mind and are taking the joke literally. Nobody in their right mind would carry a shotgun to meet the young man. A young man that is nervous in meeting the girls parents. It's an old school joke theme where the father jokingly says to the daughter when she announces the plans to meet the beau.

Last edited by txfz1 on 07 Jan 2022, 7:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.

It's one thing for him to persuade you to not get into dating which makes sense. People that were dating while studying had to deal with a lot of time being taken up and stress. Having crushes on the other hand is uncontrollable. How can he just tell you not to???

^ Thanks, did not want to post first meme on serious topic.

Being in a closet with a crush is better than no contact at all, especially if your crush has a crush on you & the feeling is mutual.

Well my crush likes someone else so