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Jamesy
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17 Jul 2022, 10:49 am

Why do 'hoax' friends make you feel welcome in the short term then drop you in the dirt?



babybird
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17 Jul 2022, 11:02 am

You've answered your own question there Jamesy.


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Jamesy
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17 Jul 2022, 11:11 am

babybird wrote:
You've answered your own question there Jamesy.



I am not sure what 'drop you in the dirt' means?



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17 Jul 2022, 11:24 am

I'm talking about that you said hoax friends. Well surely that's your answer right there.


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17 Jul 2022, 11:43 am

Some people are fickle and most of them have lots of other friends to occupy their time.



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17 Jul 2022, 7:39 pm

Some people are very fussy when it comes to friends.


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Jamesy
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18 Jul 2022, 8:35 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
Some people are very fussy when it comes to friends.



Especially people my own age. I have a much easier time making friends with older people.



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18 Jul 2022, 8:44 am

Because you hang out with idiots who like to drink in bars even in the middle of the day.

People who are drunk can be friends with you one moment, then mortal enemies another moment.



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18 Jul 2022, 8:57 am

 
Some people will be your "friend" for only as long as it takes for them to realize you have nothing to offer to them.



Summer_Twilight
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18 Jul 2022, 12:17 pm

Jamsey,

They are quick to ditch us because they didn't have any intention of being your friend in the first place. They probably latched themselves onto you because they want something. Whether that's money or your weakness, they don't care about you.



Jamesy
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18 Jul 2022, 3:37 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Jamsey,

They are quick to ditch us because they didn't have any intention of being your friend in the first place. They probably latched themselves onto you because they want something. Whether that's money or your weakness, they don't care about you.



It seems to be hard for me to find ‘true’ friends.



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18 Jul 2022, 5:01 pm

Jamesy wrote:
It seems to be hard for me to find ‘true’ friends.
Determine that single most common factor in all your failed relationships, and you will know where to start making improvements.  Picking and chipping away at peripheral matters while avoiding the core cause will get you nowhere.



shortfatbalduglyman
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18 Jul 2022, 6:54 pm

there could be a lot of different reasons.

there is not enough information to determine the answer.

however, it could be:

short attention span
they finally realize you have nothing to offer them positively
they are not interested in you anymore



Summer_Twilight
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20 Jul 2022, 2:45 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
Jamsey,

They are quick to ditch us because they didn't have any intention of being your friend in the first place. They probably latched themselves onto you because they want something. Whether that's money or your weakness, they don't care about you.



It seems to be hard for me to find ‘true’ friends.


Jamesy, I know the feeling, however, there are lots of people off the spectrum who struggle with finding real friends. In fact, there are lots of people who are not capable of being a friend or a good one at all.



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20 Jul 2022, 4:04 pm

Funny, I was thinking about this subject too.

I have 2 friends, we've been friends for about 4 years, but one of them is drifting away. She has lots of other friends, she was born here and knows everyone. She was keen to go out for coffees for years but recently cancelled the last two occasions, and just said 'I'll let you know when my shifts are and we'll go out again.' I am always the one to make contact, I've got a bit tired of doing that, so I've been waiting (plus having my own issues) and it's 3 weeks now. I'm tired of this happening.

At least the other friend is reliable.


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03 Aug 2022, 3:29 pm

I have read that it's really common when someone either is not interested or loses interest will make plans just so they don't hurt he person's feelings and then bail at the last minute.

On the other hand...


As for fake friends, here are some examples

1. I worked with someone who jerked me around about being my friend
A. She lied to me about coming to me things and never did. She also made excuses about why she didn't come as well as why she didn't communicate with me.
B. When another person got hired, she started ignoring me and denied ever being friends with me to her


2. I have talked about the mother and the autistic daughter in another post. Anyway, I associated with them and they were fake friends.
A. The autistic daughter would love bomb me one minute and then the next she would cut me down the next
B. Both of them invited me to their home one minute and told me they loved having me around and then the next they said I did things that bothered them. :roll:
C. The autistic daughter started trying to break up my other friendships by telling them things about me that were not true.