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Joined: 2 Aug 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 763
Location: Kent, UK

30 Nov 2022, 4:21 pm

I seem to think that when myself or some other people are given some advice in regards to certain issues whether its a problem with trying to make an effort in going out more because we have few friends, some problem that involves insecurity about their looks etc. I seem to think will respond by saying things like ''Well if you are unhappy about something then either address it or stop whinging.'' or ''Just get out there'' etc. I seem to think it doesn't always motivate people and then it still doesn't always boost confidence and sometimes it still discourages them from making an effort in trying because its seems to be coming across as though they are sort of bullying them into it and not showing much empathy or sympathy.


User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

30 Nov 2022, 6:19 pm

Here's some friendly advice:

I would stop caring what other people think, and just continue to work in the bookstore, and do what you want to do when you're not in the bookstore.

Mona Pereth

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,500
Location: New York City (Queens)

02 Dec 2022, 7:41 am

I think a lot of people tend to get impatient when other people complain about the same problems over and over again, seeming to have ignored whatever advice they were given previously.

But there might be good reasons why the previously-given advice was "ignored," or was too difficult for the person to implement. Also, people with severe depression are even likelier than autistic people in general to have extreme difficulty making any changes to their life at all, even changes that might otherwise be relatively easy.

For this reason, I think it would be a good idea to have support groups specifically for autistic people with co-occurring depression. Such a group might be more understanding towards their members' difficulties with making any changes at all, and might focus more on questions like how to motivate oneself to make changes, hopefully without getting impatient with each other.

I don't have co-occurring clinical depression myself, but I've observed quite a few tensions, here on Wrong Planet, between people with severe depression and other people who get impatient with people with severe depression.

The proposed support groups would probably need to be professional-led support groups, not peer-led, because autistic people with clinical depression are probably, by at least an order of magnitude, even less likely to have the wherewithal to start and facilitate their own group(s) than autistic people generally are. In general I'm a big fan of autistic peer-led groups, but this may be an exception.

Anyhow, here on Wrong Planet, we do have a section called "The Haven," where expressing impatience toward whatever the OP of a given thread might be complaining about is specifically forbidden.

- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter (new as of 2021)