do people hijack/interrupt your conversations?

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Snapdragonclover
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08 Jan 2010, 11:03 pm

LuxoJr wrote:
No because a majority of my conversations never last more than a minute.


Same here, but usually when I talk, I most likely get cut off by another person who then steals attention away from me, and by the time they're done no one remembers that I was talking to them. :roll: :x

Though whenever this happens, I just back down and be quiet. :oops:

But I am thankful for my best friend, who does acknowledge that I am speaking to her and has the courtesy to apologize whenever she accidentally cuts me off.


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PunkyKat
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09 Jan 2010, 12:23 am

They accuse me of interuppting but they are interupting me as well.


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Tantybi
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09 Jan 2010, 1:47 am

Yeah this happens to me a lot too. First I decide if it's important to me and who I'm dealing with. If I really don't care to finish the conversation, I walk away. If the person butting in is someone important (such as a boss or teacher if I were in school, or a nurse to a doctor), then I just walk away. If the person seems to be interrupting wtih something important such as a serious problem or a death in the family type thing, I again, turn around and walk away.

But, if the person is talking nonsense, is not that important, and is interrupting a good conversation that I would like to continue, I simply say, "Excuse you, but we were already talking." Yeah it's very pushy, but just another example where adults are just like kids and you have to treat them as such at times, except I'm usually nicer about correcting a child because their age kinda excuses them for not knowing any better. If you can come up with something creative to add to it, go for it. Like, "yeah, go put that on your facebook... anyway you were saying earlier about ...? " If they go into how you just interrupted them, don't turn it into "you interrupted me." That's like two kids arguing about who started it. Again, it depends on the situation, but whatever you do, don't look desperate and don't look like you backed down. Make it like it was your decision to go off on your own, and maybe you are just too cool to be seen with the idiot who interrupted you. When I say don't look desperate, I mean don't make it about the conversation. Telling someone how this always happens to you and you just want to talk to someone...not exactly something that people think is cool. Telling someone how it's about the principle of the fact that they were being rude like they were raised by savages...that's better. Even better to NOT make it about you but about how they were being rude to the person you were speaking to. In other words, make sure the focus is on the other guy's ignorance and not your personal emotions. The only time your personal emotions card is effective is when loved ones are being overly critical, like when your mom decides to lecture you for hours about how you spend your money.

I know it sounds like bad advice, but I've learned that if you aren't rude in situations that call for it, people think that's odd. It's odd if you get rude for no reason as well, or if you go overboard. One thing I learned is that if you are a pushover once to someone, they will take advantage of it later. So if you allow one person to steal the conversation and act like you aren't there at all, they will do that to you again if given the opportunity.


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Tantybi
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09 Jan 2010, 1:59 am

TallyMan wrote:
VincentVanJones wrote:
I steal conversations more then people steal mine :P


I sometimes do this too. Apparently I have a very bad habit of finishing off what someone is going to say. It is torture listening to someone say something obvious when I already know what they are going to say... get on with it already! :lol: People hate it, but I can't help myself. :oops:


I do this a lot too. It's so an Aspergers thing, and nine times out of ten, you are right aren't you? I'm so bad my best friend really tries to change it up on me as I finish her sentence for her. I usually call her out on it (because it's so obvious) and she gets mad. I do try to save it for when they are struggling to find the words, but sometimes I just get impatient. Either way, I've improved because I keep telling myself that when other people talk, they are also thinking. To interrupt them to finish their sentence, you also finish their thought, which means they didn't get the chance to think it, which then usually confuses them.

It took me a minute to figure that out, but when I'm talking to someone, I am able to multitask in the sense that I can listen to other people talk while I'm talking, pick up on back ground noises no one will ever consider, make observations of the background like oh how cute, a butterfly, and also think about what I'm trying to say. Other people, on the other hand, generally ignore all background noises except for things their mind picks up on as important such as key words (like if someone four conversations down screamed the word sex, they'd stop for a second to absorb that and maybe look into the conversation to see if it's interesting), but instead of wasting their focus on all the stuff I waste my focus on, they are thinking about what they are saying and how to organize the information. That's why they don't usually monologue because they are utilizing something I don't, their internal editing functions. So while you may know exactly where their logic is going, they don't. It's like a movie you've seen that they haven't, and you really just don't want to ruin the ending for them.


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