Have you ever been accused of being a paedophile?

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necroluciferia
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03 Jun 2011, 3:39 am

my own sister refused to let me have anything to do with her daughter for years because she found out I was into BDSM, which in her small mind makes me a potential paedophile :? That is still very upsetting to me now even though I am back on speaking terms with her.



Jory
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04 Jun 2011, 5:29 pm

It's even worse if you're gay. Because, as the Fox News watching public knows, we're a bunch of perverted freaks who are hellbent on "recruiting" your children, or something. I dated a 16 year old when I was 19 and for a lot of people I know, that was apparently just going TOO FAR, MAN. As if he was a little boy who had no idea what he was doing. If I had been a straight 19 year old dating a 16 year old girl, I can't imagine hearing a single complaint from anyone. I'm 27 now, and I can't imagine the storm that would rain down upon me if I dated a 16 year old today.

In case anyone is wondering, I'm not exclusively into younger guys, I just don't have an age preference in either direction. When I'm out in public, I'm just as likely to find myself attracted to a 50 year old than I am to find myself attracted to a 16 year old. In fact, I'd probably prefer the 50 year old, simply because anyone who's dated a 16 year old knows what kind of high school drama BS comes with that.



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05 Jun 2011, 1:31 am

Adults need to stay away from minors, PERIOD. Heterosexual men have gone to jail for sex with minors when there was a small age difference too.

And you mention that you could be attracted to a 16 year old or a 50 year old, and you are 27.

Stay away from minors.



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05 Jun 2011, 12:32 pm

I probably will, do to the aforementioned drama issue. And yes, the possibility of going to jail is quite a deterrent. But if anyone tries to make me feel like it's morally wrong, well, good luck.



oddone
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05 Jun 2011, 3:07 pm

One of my neighbours once accused me of being gay because I haven't "got a woman", but I've never been though of as a threat to children. A neighbour's 4 year old once demanded to know my age and where my mummy was. I only realised afterwards that she didn't believe I was a grown up because I had never shouted at her. I suspect the child protection hysteria hasn't reached some parents. That said, I wouldn't want to be left alone with one the neighbours kids but for my protection rather than theirs.



Wronglyaccused
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10 Jan 2013, 5:43 pm

Hi I would appreciate some advice on this matter.

I am only 16, but I was (falsely) accused of being a paedophile last year at my school. They threw me out and I'm now banned from ever going back there again. I moved to a new school this September, and all is great, no one there knows why I left my last school, and I'm desperate for it to stay that way. This would be easy, but my new school and old school haves football (soccer) match this Saturday, and I have been told by some of my friends that some pricks on the team think it will be funny to inform my new schools team of what I was accused of. I am not playing because I'm still banned and don't ever wish to go back, but it looks as if a few people are going to deliberately ruin my life by spreading this false rumour to my school. It would be a disaster, I would have to leave again, and I don't think I can take that another time... What do I do if my new school finds out, my reputation would never recover, I need a way of preventing this, or somehow making everyone see that I'm not a paedophile, I'm only 16 and i was falsely accused. Someone please give me some advice? It's sort of urgent



Entek
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11 Jan 2013, 8:23 am

Given what i know of men i would say its good advice to keep young children away from men that you dont know, but thats practical advice i think. As your children grow up its nice to educate them in a safe way about the dangers of certain areas in the local towns, and from getting into cars and accepting lifts and money etc from ppl they dont know.

Generally people mistrust and fear what they dont understand, and by taking the piss out of it, or attacking it and making it smaller, the threat of the unknown becomes less. If you are odd, different, or just in the line of sight of some people, you are fair game unfortunately. The world is rapidly becoming a place where groups of people are allowed to do as they will, untouchable due to their extreme beliefs - the bubble will burst one day i think.

Back on subject, we live in a world of uneducated females and cock-sure lads - gone are the days of leaving your back door unlocked and letting your kids out after 8pm on their own. Teenage pregnancy is rife in the UK - most of the kids are having kids while they are at school.



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11 Jan 2013, 4:01 pm

Hi Wronglyaccused,

I myself can't give you any advice on that matter, but I suggest you ask for help in a forum in a different category, because this category doesn't seem to be looked at as often as some others. Maybe General Autism Discussion might be good if your being falsely accused is somehow related to your having AS/autism (if you do). I'm sorry to hear what happened to you at the last school. That must have been traumatic for you. I hope nothing will happen to you on/after Saturday.



jagatai
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11 Jan 2013, 4:31 pm

This particular issue seems to be one where being accused is as good as being convicted. Here in the US we like to say a person is innocent until proven guilty, but it doesn't always work that way.

I don't know how realistic or practical this is, but if someone (a student or an official) makes direct or even veiled accusations toward you, you need to simply state that if they are going to accuse you of a crime, they must show clear and concrete evidence. Otherwise all they are doing is spreading rumors and thus are committing slander. I assume that slander is a crime where you are. I guess what I'm saying is a quick and forceful offense is a good defense.

I think also this approach emphasizes that you know you are innocent and if someone is accusing you of a crime, they damned well better be ready with the proof. By putting the onus of proof on them quickly and aggressively, you might be able to quash heedless comments.


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syzygyish
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12 Jan 2013, 7:54 am

Wronglyaccused wrote:
Hi I would appreciate some advice on this matter.

I am only 16, but I was (falsely) accused of being a paedophile last year at my school. They threw me out and I'm now banned from ever going back there again. I moved to a new school this September, and all is great, no one there knows why I left my last school, and I'm desperate for it to stay that way. This would be easy, but my new school and old school haves football (soccer) match this Saturday, and I have been told by some of my friends that some pricks on the team think it will be funny to inform my new schools team of what I was accused of. I am not playing because I'm still banned and don't ever wish to go back, but it looks as if a few people are going to deliberately ruin my life by spreading this false rumour to my school. It would be a disaster, I would have to leave again, and I don't think I can take that another time... What do I do if my new school finds out, my reputation would never recover, I need a way of preventing this, or somehow making everyone see that I'm not a paedophile, I'm only 16 and i was falsely accused. Someone please give me some advice? It's sort of urgent


THIS NEEDS A THREAD OF IT'S OWN...
and Lawyers

:(


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Dainichi
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12 Aug 2022, 5:39 am

Not directly accused, but people have made comments indicating they think I am. This is probably the most hurtful and painful thing I find about my condition. I'm 50 now and didn't know I had Aspergers' til I was 45. In my youth, I got some attention from girls my own age. Although I always felt something was wrong, I struggled through and had several mid-term sexual and close, emotional relationships. I always ended it because I just couldn't handle the stress of being with someone. I had a circle of friends, who I felt more distanced from as I got older. I don't see any of them anymore, although I know that's common for most people. I feel very bitter, because there were a few comments regarding paedophilia, the last few times I saw my friends.

Music has always been one of my main interests and I played in bands when I was younger. I got into the Japanese rock/metal scene, which had a trend for female, young-sounding cute/anime style vocalists. One of my friends asked me how old they were. I told her '30' because I knew the singer had just had her birthday, but I knew by her tone, she was critical of this. There was another band I was into, who had 3 girls singing, who were actually teenagers (14, 14 and 16). My Brother, also a musician and gamer, said he could appreciated the music, as he was familiar with the Japanese style, from playing video games. Then all of a sudden, one day, he told me that it was 'wrong' and like a 'paedophile's wet dream'. It was pretty obvious to me, that his wife had heard the music and basically forbidden him from listening to it. There is nothing sexualised about the girls in this band. They wear pretty dresses, like any teenage girl would like to do, but nothing revealing or suggestive of sexual activity. I thought it was sick that someone else was actually sexualising these girls, by thinking the reason I liked them was sexual. I didn't think about them like that. I have no attraction to young girls. I've always liked older women.

It's just prejudice. It's the worst thing about asperger/ASD. Even my best friend, started treating me differently as soon as I got my diagnosis, like she forgot who the person was, that she'd known for 30 years. It breaks my heart again and again every day.



kraftiekortie
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12 Aug 2022, 6:00 am

People are just really stupid sometimes….



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07 Sep 2022, 8:49 am

I've been accused of being pedo before because I had my 1st girlfriend when I was 20 & she was 15. It was NOT a sexual thing, the only person I ever had sex with is my current girlfriend. My 1st was the best friend I ever had at that point in my life. She had sever ADHD & dyslexia & I'm also dyslexic & have ADD & we met on a forum for a major common interest so we really connected. Around that time I also had an OCD obsession with fake pix of celebs & some of em were underage. I did NOT get off on them, it was about hoarding, labeling, & organizing. I also developed a form of OCD where I majorly worried that I was a pedo threat partly due to those things & I hated myself because of it. I had a mental breakdown when my 1st relationship ended & I started seeing a psychiatrist for 5 years who put pedo in her report because I did not realize OCD was a factor for me believing I was & my psych did not realize that either. I burned that report after I read it :x

I talked about this stuff online on various forums & more than a few accused me of being pedo as well which made my OCD worry worse. I eventually left those sites due to having lots of problems getting along with others. I did not talk about this stuff offline with anyone except for my psychiatrist & the counselor I briefly saw. I eventually got in my 2nd relationship & my severe OCD & severe anxiety contributed to me screwing that up.

Around the time that relationship ended I realized my anxiety & OCD were major problems & factors & I did a bit of research on psych meds to treat that. I was no longer seeing my psych & not taking any meds. I lost my health insurance shortly after I lost my last job & it was about a year later before I was eligible for Medicare & Medicaid Extra Help program. I could not afford psych meds without health insurance on top of having to pay my psych or doc, the health insurance I had did not cover psychs. Anyways... I got on Medicare & Medicaid Extra Help around the time my 2nd relationship started & after I had done a bit of research on psych meds, I went to my general practitioner doc that I had before I lost health insurance & I told him I had been on those meds before(I lied a tad there) & asked him to prescribe em & he did :wink: Those meds help aLOT & I'm still on em 10 years later.

I also got in my current relationship shortly after I got on those meds & I'm loyal to a fault & would never cheat on my romantic partner. I also don't really care about having sex & quit being into the pix a very long time ago so I know I'm not a pedo threat or anything. In the last 10 years I haven't had a reason to really worry about being pedo or really care what most anyone else think about it. I have talked to my current gf about this & she's very accepting of lots of things 8)


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