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Tuttle
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10 Apr 2012, 11:50 pm

I don't mean that assuming that its purposeful, but what is it that causes you to interrupt people when they start speaking?

I finally at least part of this out for myself today. Someone pointed out that I interrupted someone immediately after he started speaking about 6 times in an hour. I had managed to be completely unaware of it.

Trying to figure out what was going on, I realized that people would stop talking, I'd treat it as my time to talk, would start the process of talking, would figure out how to work what I wanted to say, would start speaking, and by the time everything had buffered it had been at least 30 seconds and someone else would have said something.

Hopefully realizing this will make me do this less often.



IdahoRose
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11 Apr 2012, 12:15 am

I interpret pauses in conversation to mean that the other person is finished speaking and it's my turn to talk, but I always wind up accidentally interrupting them, because the moment I start saying something is the moment they're ready to start talking again. This happens in virtually every single conversation that I participate in. Thankfully, people seem to realize that I'm not trying to be rude by interrupting them and the only reason I do it is because I can't pick up on the natural ebb and flow of a conversation.



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11 Apr 2012, 12:19 am

IdahoRose wrote:
I interpret pauses in conversation to mean that the other person is finished speaking and it's my turn to talk, but I always wind up accidentally interrupting them, because the moment I start saying something is the moment they're ready to start talking again. This happens in virtually every single conversation that I participate in. Thankfully, people seem to realize that I'm not trying to be rude by interrupting them and the only reason I do it is because I can't pick up on the natural ebb and flow of a conversation.

I've noticed this trait in me only fairly recently, and for me it's the same thing. I notice a slight pause, I jump in, and they keep talking. I also think part of it is that I'm so wrapped up in what I'm thinking that I'm not really paying too close of attention to the other person's cues. It's problematic on the phone too.



Nostromos
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11 Apr 2012, 12:26 am

if i'm in a group, interrupting is the only way i can say anything.



nebrets
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11 Apr 2012, 12:26 am

I am not sure if the pause is a pause between sentences, the person taking a breathe, or they are done talking. Somehow when in a conversation, my brain always assumes that the pause means they are done talking.

I wish I knew what cues to look for to find out if the person was done and wanted a reply or if they still have more to say.



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11 Apr 2012, 12:49 am

Tuttle wrote:
Trying to figure out what was going on, I realized that people would stop talking, I'd treat it as my time to talk, would start the process of talking, would figure out how to work what I wanted to say, would start speaking, and by the time everything had buffered it had been at least 30 seconds and someone else would have said something.

I wouldnt have been able to explain this before but I can relate to this. I also can misinterpret pauses by thinking that the other has finished talking, occasionally they are going way off track and I want to stop them and redirect (not generally in a social setting). Mainly it is just a timing issue, that I cant read their cues well and time my talking to fit into the sequence. I used to interupt much more when I was younger and learned that people did not like that which I think has contributed to me being a more quieter person now.


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riot_gun
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11 Apr 2012, 12:55 am

Nostromos wrote:
if i'm in a group, interrupting is the only way i can say anything.


Truth.

I have a habit of cutting off the last word or two that people say by replying too early.



Neutrino
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11 Apr 2012, 1:07 am

IdahoRose wrote:
I interpret pauses in conversation to mean that the other person is finished speaking and it's my turn to talk, but I always wind up accidentally interrupting them, because the moment I start saying something is the moment they're ready to start talking again.


This!



Jory
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11 Apr 2012, 1:22 am

Tuttle wrote:
Why do you interru


Shut up, I'm thinking.

Sometimes I have to interrupt someone if they're telling a story. If the story goes A, B, C, D, etc, I won't understand B or C and I'll have to interrupt and ask them to explain before getting to D.

Other times, I simply won't know that they weren't done talking and I'll interrupt them by accident.

And sometimes, if they're boring the hell out of me, I'll just stop them to say that I don't care. In hindsight, it shouldn't be surprising that so many people have called me an as*hole. But I'd rather be called an as*hole than be bored.



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11 Apr 2012, 1:31 am

I get excited and I have to say it now before I forget or before it's too late to even say it.

I think the other person is done speaking.

I misread the cues. Everyone interrupts but I don't understand when it's okay so that is why I misread them.

I get frustrated and lose track of what they are saying or can't keep up.

The other person never shuts up and never lets me speak so I do it anyway.



League_Girl
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11 Apr 2012, 1:33 am

FishStickNick wrote:
IdahoRose wrote:
I interpret pauses in conversation to mean that the other person is finished speaking and it's my turn to talk, but I always wind up accidentally interrupting them, because the moment I start saying something is the moment they're ready to start talking again. This happens in virtually every single conversation that I participate in. Thankfully, people seem to realize that I'm not trying to be rude by interrupting them and the only reason I do it is because I can't pick up on the natural ebb and flow of a conversation.

I've noticed this trait in me only fairly recently, and for me it's the same thing. I notice a slight pause, I jump in, and they keep talking. I also think part of it is that I'm so wrapped up in what I'm thinking that I'm not really paying too close of attention to the other person's cues. It's problematic on the phone too.



I have been told by my ex that you have to wait at least five seconds before speaking when the other person pauses. That way you know it's your turn to say something.



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11 Apr 2012, 1:38 am

I also definitely interpret pauses as people being done with speaking.



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11 Apr 2012, 1:59 am

Because saying something about their first point in a story after they've gone through all 5 or however many points makes no sense to me. If I have an issue with what they're saying (whatever said issue is) NOW, why wouldn't I make that known NOW?


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11 Apr 2012, 3:09 am

Often what happens with me is I'll thing of something that needs to be said... and immediately say it. If the other person is still speaking it doesn't bother me because I then kinda listen to them WHILE I'm talking. Then I can respond to what they said immediately after I've had my say.
I don't know how I do it. Maybe I'm talking on auto? - like the sentences have already been formed in my head and are just buffered waiting to be output - like background printing. Freaks people out all the time:-$



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11 Apr 2012, 5:04 am

Because the person is monologuing - common among people I interact with, as they're Aspies with strong special interests.



Heidi80
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11 Apr 2012, 5:09 am

FishStickNick wrote:
IdahoRose wrote:
I interpret pauses in conversation to mean that the other person is finished speaking and it's my turn to talk, but I always wind up accidentally interrupting them, because the moment I start saying something is the moment they're ready to start talking again. This happens in virtually every single conversation that I participate in. Thankfully, people seem to realize that I'm not trying to be rude by interrupting them and the only reason I do it is because I can't pick up on the natural ebb and flow of a conversation.

I've noticed this trait in me only fairly recently, and for me it's the same thing. I notice a slight pause, I jump in, and they keep talking. I also think part of it is that I'm so wrapped up in what I'm thinking that I'm not really paying too close of attention to the other person's cues. It's problematic on the phone too.

I do exactly the same thing