How do you deal with people who interrupt?

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friedmacguffins
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05 Oct 2012, 11:37 am

They make loud noises, in the middle of a conversation -- say, moving dishes, dropping something heavy, clattering tools. Or, they get distracted by something completely irrelevant, completely change the subject.

How do you deal with this, and what results do you get?

I remarked to these people, that the interruptions only seemed to happen when they were being obligated or blamed for something.

Immediately following said remark, they interruptions increased in intensity and frequency.

I am of the opinion that it is either an intentional tactic, or a learned reflex, would like to change it.

Does anyone have experience.



Rudywalsh
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05 Oct 2012, 11:57 am

In the last two days I have witnessed a couple of people I had spoken to just suddenly interrupt me and change the subject. If anything I walk away feeling mad at myself.

Although I’m a self-diagnosed Aspie in my forty’s, I know it’s one of the traits I can’t get away from, going on and on about something and never knowing when to stop.

Why do people with Aspergers feel this need to express knowledge?



MakaylaTheAspie
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05 Oct 2012, 11:58 am

To be blunt: not very well. :lol:


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Joe90
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05 Oct 2012, 12:12 pm

I thought it was only Aspies who do all those things?


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gretchyn
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05 Oct 2012, 12:15 pm

I work with teenagers, and if they do anything like that I say in a stern voice, "Excuse me, I am talking." It usually works, but I don't know how well that would go over with adults, especially if you don't have any authority over them...



friedmacguffins
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05 Oct 2012, 12:24 pm

gretchyn wrote:
I work with teenagers, and if they do anything like that I say in a stern voice, "Excuse me, I am talking." It usually works, but I don't know how well that would go over with adults, especially if you don't have any authority over them...


Hits the nail on the head.

I have expressed that this is disrespectful way for adults to interact, but to be honest, am still somewhat stunned by it.



Last edited by friedmacguffins on 05 Oct 2012, 12:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sweetleaf
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05 Oct 2012, 12:24 pm

My moms boyfriend does that, once i told him to be quiet till I was done talking because he was interrupting, and then he continued to interrupt going on about some dish towels or something. It pissed me off since I already seem to lose track of my thought and then I don't know what to say and it doesn't help with someone interrupting. I think I gave up and went back in my room or whatever either way the conversation with my mom was never finished.


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IDontGetIt
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05 Oct 2012, 12:24 pm

friedmacguffins wrote:
the interruptions only seemed to happen when they were being obligated or blamed for something.

I can relate to this. Even in situations where "blame" is too strong a word to describe what is being said, sometimes anything at all that imposes on the other persons ego in the slightest of ways. Often the interruption will be in the form of the other person "defending" themself from whatever I am saying, even if that is an irrelevant thing to do. For example, in a conversation I might say "You don't seem to like music as much as I do..." and am interrupted with "Oh I do, I like lots of music", said in an irritated or pushy way. If they had the decency to allow me to finish the sentence they would have understood the context of what I was saying, that I've got over 500 cds and they have 20 or something. These sudden emotional responses from people confuse the hell out of me.



friedmacguffins
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05 Oct 2012, 12:27 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
I think I gave up and went back in my room or whatever either way the conversation with my mom was never finished.


Much of my anxiety comes from unfinished conversations.



friedmacguffins
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05 Oct 2012, 12:32 pm

Rudywalsh wrote:
Why do people with Aspergers feel this need to express knowledge?


Firstly, Asperger's/AS are loaded words, which convey a wealth of emotion. To discuss this condition is a way of relating to people who may understand me.

Secondly, I do not openly discuss this condition with NT's, in the expectations that they will exploit me, emotionally.

I would prefer to compare notes with AS people, in hopes of learning something practical, from someone with a comparable perspective.

So far, the best i could do is remain objective:
1. identify boundaries to emotionally distance myself.
2. Maintain appearances of respectability
3. Pull rank.
4. Have structured time, to decompress.

I have spent countless hours, deconstucting trains of thought, following them to their logical conclusion, believe the basis of all human interaction is ultimately arbitrary.

While I take no sadistic pleasure in inconveniencing others, I am finding (perhaps, a little too late in life) that I must prioritize myself, even in the most inconsequential issues, to get anything done.



Sweetleaf
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05 Oct 2012, 1:02 pm

friedmacguffins wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I think I gave up and went back in my room or whatever either way the conversation with my mom was never finished.


Much of my anxiety comes from unfinished conversations.


And then they keep telling you to calm down interrupting even further when the whole point is they should shut up a minute and let me finish what I was saying. Any of them would get irritated if I went to those kinds of lengths to interrupt but if I get irrirated it's 'its ok." 'calm down." "just chill." usually I say 'I'm fine just want to finish what I was saying. But half the time they still don't get it.


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lotuspuppy
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05 Oct 2012, 1:06 pm

Depending on their social standing relative to me, I talk over them. I have learned that most (not all) people who interrupt are extraverts who don't mean to be rude, and often don't mind being interrupted.



friedmacguffins
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05 Oct 2012, 1:14 pm

lotuspuppy wrote:
Depending on their social standing relative to me, I talk over them. I have learned that most (not all) people who interrupt are extraverts who don't mean to be rude, and often don't mind being interrupted.


This is to say that you increase your volume, keep talking at the normal volume, without pausing?



gretchyn
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05 Oct 2012, 1:16 pm

lotuspuppy wrote:
Depending on their social standing relative to me, I talk over them. I have learned that most (not all) people who interrupt are extraverts who don't mean to be rude, and often don't mind being interrupted.


This reminds me of a saying that comes from the Portuguese/Basque side of my family: "It is disturbing to me that you keep on talking while I am interrupting." :lol:



friedmacguffins
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05 Oct 2012, 1:39 pm

I read Japanese musings, in which they would never break rank. But, audacity was considered necessary, in direct confrontation of personal libel.

I believe this is different than simply causing a startling, audible disturbance, in order to avoid a chore or complaint.



lotuspuppy
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05 Oct 2012, 2:49 pm

friedmacguffins wrote:
lotuspuppy wrote:
Depending on their social standing relative to me, I talk over them. I have learned that most (not all) people who interrupt are extraverts who don't mean to be rude, and often don't mind being interrupted.


This is to say that you increase your volume, keep talking at the normal volume, without pausing?


That's what I do. When you are from an Italian family, have a few Latin American friends and a boss who's a Brooklyn Jew, you learn to be combative.